The Uncensored Me
by summersfall789
Summary: An explanation for the reason behind T's happiness about striking pay dirt.
1. An Introduction

A/N: This is the first story I'm publishing here. This is also the first time I wrote this pairing. So be nice. ;)

And please review. THANK YOU!

* * *

First Week of this Month

Dear Diary, (uh... no)

Dear Journal, (nah)

DJ,

Diary sounds so...prepubescent. Let me just call you DJ and I can pretend that I'm just writing to a friend who I'm just sending letters to, who knows every deep dark secret about me. ...Sweet Kami-sama, what am i doing?!

...ahem sorry about that. Minor panic attack, don't worry. I don't do those in real life very often, so this might be the place where i freak out. ...mmm. I seriously hope it doesn't happen alot. Anyway, down to business.

First off, let me say that I DON'T give off the impression that I'm a girl who would be talking to you, DJ. No offence. But I grew up around boys. Strong boys. Scary boys. A girl who had to toughen herself up to stand with them. Tough girls don't do diaries.  Besides, if they ever found out about you, I would never hear the end of it. I can just see Kanku...um...i mean K holding you out of reach of me while he reads long paragraphs of my entries letters out loud at an annoyingly earsplitting volume.

So, before this goes any further, let me set some ground rules and background.

I will NOT be revealing anyone's real name. Not because I'm paranoid, but because some of my friends have really long names and I can't be bothered. I will be using my personal nicknames for them or just their initals. And of course to maintain their privacy. No really, I'm not paranoid.

Whatever happens, I plan to fully disclose my thoughts and details of my life. At least once ...a day ...every other ...a week. Completely uncensored and unguarded me. That's almost scarier than one of Gaar um...I mean GiGi's most terrifying rages. Yeah. I know.

I have 2 brothers, K and GiGi. K's the older one. His thing is puppets. He's been doing this puppet thing since as long as I can remember. And K, if you're reading this, so help me Kami-sama, I am telling GiGi what you were really doing that time he caught you alone with your puppets. New technique, my ass.

GiGi is the youngest of my siblings. Ironically enough, for the longest time, he was also the scariest out of all three of us. I may tell you all about it one day but not tonight.  Let me just say that he was in a dark and lonely place for a long, long time. But now, he's one of the strongest shinobi I know. I trust him with my life, just like he should trust me with his. Ok enuff mushy stuff.

Being from the land of sand and growing up with these boys, I have been trained with the best of them and can withstand anything you can throw at me. I can hold my own. But sometimes, I like being a girl. I like doing girly things. Hence, this is where you come in, DJ. Thank you for handling my girly outbursts and for keeping my secrets safe.

I am a shinobi. I regularly go on missions. So if you get a little beat up in the process, my apologies. I'll try to keep you as pristine as I can, for as long as I can.

As it stands, my love life is non-existent. Between missions, my tough/scary exterior and my even tougher/scarier brothers, who has time to fall in love?

...Or who would fall in love with me? ...erm forget I said that.

I've just been selected as the Sand dignitary recently. I'll be acting as a Goodwill Ambassador going to the Hidden Leaf within the next couple of days in an attempt to rebuild relationships between the Sand and the Leaf. This'll be interesting.

I've been to the Leaf once before for the Chunin Exams. It was a nice town. I would have like to see more of it, but I was working on a mission at the time. And afterwards, let's just say that saying the Sand and the Leaf weren't the best of friends would be the understatment of the millenium. Which was too bad, I met a few interesting people there. Some more interesting than others.

Too bad about that kid, uh...Uchi. He was really good looking. I wouldn't have minded him being my guide around the Leaf. The last I heard, Uchi flipped out and went batshit crazy before he defected. I say he went about it the wrong way. I understand it's hard and i don't know all the details or everything he's gone through. But nearly killing his best friend and turning his back on the village that raised him just so he could chase after a creepy old man who wants to "teach" him things?

For finally coming out the closet, the reaction was a bit much. But to each his own i guess. ...I know there is so much more to this story then what I'm covering here but you want a different spin, DJ, then watch the Leaf news.

Anyway, it's getting late and GiGi said that I have to head out early tomorrow. Man. It's going to be a long day. I'm hitting the hay.

Night DJ,

T

ps. hee hee. Gigi.  I wonder how he would respond if I called him that in public.  Lol. LOL. ah. That's funny...

pss. Yeah. That'll NEVER happen. I value my breathing.


	2. First Impressions

**A/N**: I'm still trying to work out the finer details of the timeline, so if things seem a bit off, then that's the reason.

I know this maybe be a tad slow going but  think about it.  It's Shikamaru.  How fast is he going to move? 

And Temari isn't always a slice of heaven either.

Besides, I wanted to give somewhat of a realistic spin to this.  (mind that may fly out the window, if they're moving too slow and I may have to kick (start) some characters in the backside...  That's right Shika.  I'm looking at you.)

And... oh yeah.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.

* * *

Second Week of this Month

DJ,

Ok. So a lot has happened since my last time I wrote to you. I arrived in Konahoa safe and sound, albeit thoroughly exhausted. I've made the rounds and have been so innundated with meetings, my head is still spinning.

I was a little overwhelmed by info over the past couple of days. It's been so much that it's become one big blur of faces, names and objectives. I'm sure once everything calms down, I'll be able to absorb everything properly. I think that if I start with you I'll be able to sort it faster.

Ok. so first Ambassador-ic (if that's even a word) impressions of the Leaf:

**One**: I met the Fifth Hokage. That was a trip. She's a strong and no-nonsense lady. I like her a lot.

She isn't exactly the woman that I've heard stories about. I was kind of expecting a drunken gambler who looked like she's almost 6 feet under the hill (forget over the hill).

....Hey! I know that sounds harsh. But a hard life will age a person and from what I've heard Tsu...Lady-sama's life hasn't exactly been a bed of Cosmos flowers.

But contrary to almost all reports or gossip about her, she was intelligent, co-herent, very well-abled and has great skin.

I hope my figure holds up like hers.

**Two**: Is it always this hot? I realize that it's the Fire Country and all but GEEZ! It's enough to make a girl's masacra run. But all jokes aside, how can a place so different from my own remind me so much of home?

Late at night, if I wake up in the stiffling heat, which is more often then naught, I think of home. The days are hot there; but they are also dry and the nights are always cool. I wonder if GiGi's eating properly (he has a tendency to forget meals. He does that alot when he's contemplative or worried. He's been doing that a lot since becoming Kazekage). And then I think about K and then I stop. That idiot didn't stop teasing me about stupidness before I left. I may tell you about it later, but it's late and I don't really want to try to unravel K's demented logic at the moment. I'd sooner prefer to chalk it up to the fact that he's an immature nitwit who likes to torture me when not on missions. ...Great. Now that vein on my forehead is starting to throb. Alright. Calming breath ...Right. Moving on.

**Three**: Barring any thoughts of wistful homesickness or that moronic brother of mine, this is not to say that I dislike the Leaf. I have enjoyed myself here so far and have met some lovely people. It's almost always beautiful outside, and some of the lakes and forests around here are breathtaking. And for the girl in me, the shopping is outstanding!

Stop rolling your eyes DJ!

Seriously though. If I had the money, I would definitely consider getting a house here. Maybe not to live here, but definitely to vacation. There is a surreal quality about this place that I can't quite put my finger on. But I like it.

**Four**: You know, what? Something just occured to me. Based on the past two entries, you must think I'm nothing but a complete airhead. I haven't mentioned anything about the meetings, what the Leaf and the Sand plan on doing to repair their bridges. I think the best way for me to describe that could be summed up by one simple phrase:

What a drag.

I think that I talk about that stuff enough during the day. All that seriousness can tire a girl out. And talking to you, DJ, helps me decompress. So if I sound catty, bratty, sarcastic, materialistic and vain try not to roll your eyes _too_ much. You need to get used to it because I'm not here for an exerise in restraint.

**Five**: So I met my guide. It turns out it's the guy I fought against at the Chuunin exams. DJ, if you ever met this guy you would have never pegged him to beat me. Well, technically, he didn't beat me. He forfeited because he didn't have enough chakra left. But still. 200 MOVES AHEAD?!?!

He probably threw out some random number just to wow the examiners.

No, I'm not bitter.

And because I am NOT bitter, I'm going to hold out judgement...excuse me ...my impression of him until next week. Due to the fact that if I think about him now... Oh crap! I feel that vein popping again! And that would be very unbecoming of an elegantly composed Sand Ambassador, wouldn't it?

Anyway, I'm mentally drained from all these meetings. The lovely room they set me up with has a really soft-looking bed and it's calling me.

Night DJ,

T


	3. The Quickie

**A/N**: It's really late here now. So without much further ado...

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.

* * *

Third Week of this Month

DJ,

Don't have too long. Had to make up an excuse to get a minute to myself. But just have to say this:

**AAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!**

DAMMIT!!!

HE.

IS.

SSSSOOOO.

AGGRAVATING!!!

T


	4. The Quickie Revisited

**A/N**: This is it for the night. I promise...

One more thing. Temari's entries won't become this... how do I describe it... chibi(?)-like on a regular basis. She's just feeling very strongly at the moment.

Oh and lastly. PLEASE REVIEW. Because the writer in me thinks like this: comments = happy!faise.

No flamming tho. 'Cuz flamming and the like = blood, body parts, and abandoned warehouses. And that's never fun.

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

Later on in the Third Week of this Month

Sorry DJ.

I realize that that was a little ubrupt. I was in a hurry and I couldn't very well whip my fan out in the middle of meetings with Lady-sama to relieve some stress.

....Let me calm down a minute...

OK. Deep calming breath.

OK Good.

THAT DAMN SHIK...SHITKATARU!!!!

He is the most LAZY, SMART-ASSED, PINAPPLE HEAD LOOKING MOTHERF ...calming breath ...the most INFURIATING shinobi I have ever had the displeasure of meeting!!!

First off, I had thought that due to my late-night arrival last week, I wouldn't be meeting my guide till the following day. Colour me surprised when I found Shit (HA!) waiting for me at the front gate.

Let me correct that. I found him trying to get the front guards to play Shogi with him. But it all went downhill from there when I had the AUDACITY to walk over and say hello.

The guards looked relieved when they saw me. But when _he_ finally turned around to acknowledge me, you know what he said?!?!

Not "Welcome to the Leaf" or even a disgruntled "Hello." No, of course not. Not when the Leaf and the Sand are trying to rebuild their relationship. Not after I rescued him from his ex-girlfriend (ex-girlfriend... crazy Sound Four kunoichi. You say tomato... I say never mind that. I saved his lazy ass!!)

He looked my straight in the eye and said: "Oh. They sent _you_?"

Now DJ, under normal circumstances, I would have blasted that damn Shadow Boy (because as you may or may not know, I don't take crap from someone who gets promoted on a technicality...STILL NOT BITTER!)! But I am an ambassador trying to start things on the right foot. So I let it slide. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact I had been travelling for the past three days straight and was ready to cpllapse. All I could do was nod and wish for bed.

Look DJ. I was not expecting a ticker tape parade as a welcome. Seriously. I prefer to stay inconspicious (I blame it own my kunoichi training). But this?! You gotta be kidding me!

Nonetheless, I let it go thinking that I can't judge someone when I was feeling that bitchy..excuse me..tired. Maybe I just needed a day, maybe he just came back from a mission. We needed to just sleep on it and, I assumed, the next day he would be absolutely delightful.

...

Sidebar:

'Absolutely delightful'? ...I really AM a girl.

ok. Sidebar over.

Alas, the gods still must be punishing me for every good deed that I've done because I found out I was completely wrong. He is really a sexist jerk.

I'm not going to bore you with all the little annoying things he's made me endure this week. And in the grand scheme of things, I suppose that it would be ridiculous to hold a grudge against trivial things like his pearls of wisdom (which are unsurprisingly obnoxious) and his digs about women in general but for Kami-sama's sake!

EVERYTHING DOES NOT SUCK DAMMIT!!

I'M SORRY FOR ALTERING YOUR 'JAM-PACTED' DAILY ROUTINE OF OBSERVING CLOUD FORMATIONS, YOUR MAJESTY!!!!

Deep breath.

You know, for someone who is suppose to be a genius, chosen well in advance of all his peers to be a Chuunin because of his maturity, clarity & strategic ability, he can sure be such an immature jackass!

But do you know what was the straw that broke the camel's back? He acts like he couldn't be bothered with anything and makes it seem that hanging out with me all day is a complete drag, but I saw him checking me out! In front of his Squad leader no less!

Another tangent:

Now DJ, I don't fangirl. But I must say that his squad leader is....mmmm. Now that's a man. I can even overlook the smoking. Too bad he's married. She must be one lucky/amazing lady.

Tangent done.

I couldn't believe that I was getting the once over by a guy who's the younger than K but infinitely more annoying.

...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anyway, the most infuriating part about the whole thing was that I must have not come up to snuff because he wouldn't really look at me after that. And instead of looking me in the eyes when he talked to me, he kept his gaze just past my left shoulder. I kept wanting to look behind me to see who he was staring at (So help me if he gives me a complex).

And alright. Maybe I wasn't wearing any lipgloss. Or maybe I didn't do my hair exactly the same everyday this week. But I don't measure up to his lame standards?! I'm not good enough for him? That is ludicrously unbelievable! The absolute nerve of that guy...

Shut up DJ. I doth not protest too much.

So before I get too crazed, I'm going to stop now and meditate a bit before I go to bed. I need to get rid of this negative energy before I go to sleep. I could end up dreaming about that idiot. And I see him enough during my conscious hours.

One last thing before I go. I swear to you DJ, I'm gonna get that bastard back if it's the last thing I do.

Night DJ,

T


	5. DT, Uchi & L2 Oh my!

**A/N**: I know I know. I'm stalling. But I needed a break. I mean come on. Not _everything_ is about Shika and Temari all the time, right?

Comments are always appreciated. so R & R please. :)

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

Last Week of this month

DJ,

I know that I said that I wouldn't be discussing business stuff during the day, but I recieved an interesting letter recently, and just had to tell you about it.

Normally, shinobi like myself are too wrapped up in much more important matters than this. But from the reports we've recieved about spottings of Uchi and friends, I only have one thing to say.

I knew it.

According to the reports, he's still with ..hmm. What should i call him? What do you call an evil, old dude with a weird affinity to snakes and who's obsessions include: murder for personal gain, destroying any trace of his past and world domination?

...

Why does that sound strangely familiar? ...ah. Forget it. Maybe in some other universe. But i'm digressing here..... anyway, hm. I think I'll dub him Version 2.0 or v2 for short.... nah, for some reason, that's not hitting the mark either. I think I'll just call him Deep Throat (DT).

Hey! the report had this whole paragraph about the length of this tongue and the other "special skills" he does with his mouth. Thinking about what he does I really don't know where he puts it all. But please. Let me just say it.

Ewwww. Xb

So the report also mentioned spotting Uchi with him. It seems like they are very close. Apparently he was training him by (the report's wording not mine) advising him to "explode" on a whole bunch of random shinobi. The report said it was a nearly complete massacre. DT was disappointed because Uchi didn't really "cut loose" and get every last one of them. But I can read between the lines. Why don't they just say Uchi was getting serviced random travelling ninja in some dark back room at a little seedy pub somewhere deep in the land of Sound? I blame the shinobi way of wrapping even the most mundane in unnecessary complexity and mystery. Is everyone that blind to the obvious? Sheesh.

If that doesn't convince you, then what about the fact that Uchi is now parading around as a present? I mean come on.

I know this may seem to be coming out of left field but according to the reports, the first time time anyone recognized him, DT was in drag. Um HELLO?!?!?! If the sign isn't flamming at that point. I don't know what does.

...

I'm sorry DJ. The reason for this rant isn't strictly for what I said originally. I ran into ...Lady Version 2.0 today. She is not to be confused with Lady-sama, she just the younger version.

A redux, if you will.

Anyway, L2 was just running some random errand and we stopped for a chat.

Our conversation was pretty routine as far as small talk goes. But once, I casually mentioned Uchi's name, that was it. She was in a funk. I tried talking her out of it, but it was almost a completely wasted effort. I was able to finally to cheer her up. Being able to sincerely compliment someone and lie straight to their face seemed impossible but I was able to do it.

I think it's because the Sand Ambassador title has endowed me with a politican's tongue. Yup. I'm smooth.

Anyway, during our conversation, I tried give her my thought on him. But she refused to pick up on any of the subtle hints that he might be 'playing for the other team'.

Do you know what she said to me?

She looked me straight in the eye and (I quote) said:

"T, I think that's kinda obvious. I mean, I don't think he'd be able to learn Forbidden jutsu staying on Team 7."

-Exhale-

She's a lovely girl, don't get me wrong. But at that point it became obvious that her other (Dumbass) teammate had more influence on her that she was willing to acknowledge.

I didn't say anything further because that's a conclusion that she has to come to herself. And anyway, I say this with the utmost sincerity and diplomacy my Sand Ambassador heart can handle: if she's cool with it, then let the fairy princess enjoy her oblivion.

ok. rant over.

Anyway, now it's really late and I really need some shut eye.

Goodnite DJ,

T


	6. Bargain with the devil

DJ,

I'm nearing the mid-way point of my stay at the Leaf and, seriously, I'm feeling pretty good about it. The meetings have gone well enough and I think that we're making real progress.

I like being productive.

M'kay. Enuff shop talk.

I got letter from Gigi today. That was a surprise. Well, not really. I wrote him first when I included a small personal note in the interim report I sent about this mission.

Anyway, I may or may not have reminded him that a couple of slices of fruit or a piece of toast does not a nutritious meal make. But I definitely ...strongly advised him that contracts, pending laws and petitions will still be there in the morning. Paperwork will always wait for the Kazekage, right? Then I told him he needs to stop reading my letter and get more sleep. But, of course, Kazekages don't need to be told things like that.

I could just see him reading my letter, sitting on top of some Sand home rooftop, after staring at the stars at some godforsaken hour.

At first, he just gave me an update as to the goings-on back home. It looks like there's some good/important news coming up. But he wouldn't elaborate. I have to admit, he's got me curious. I wonder what it is.

But come the end of his letter, he did finally address my _gentle_ suggestions. He said that since he was Kazekage, he didn't need to be reminded to eat and sleep properly and therefore, didn't need to thank his sister for her concern.

But he did anyway. :)

DJ, there's still hope for my baby brother yet.

Ok... what else is going on? ....hmmm.

Oh yeah.

I made a deal with the devil.

No, I'm not talking about K; I'm talking about Shit...I can't keep referring to him as Shit. Let's just go with Stag until I get more inspired.

Moving on. So the deal with the devil business...

You already know, DJ that I'm not the type of girl who believes in auras and mood stones and any of that malarkey. I'm a numbers and logic kind of girl. But I'm horrified by the whole thing, really. And I took this as a sure sign of the Apocalypse because Stag seems to have had a change of heart this week.

Quite frankly, it was a little disconcerting.

I know last week that although I was being shown around the Leaf, I was seeing it through Stag's eyes. Therefore, in a way I was really observing Stag in his natural habitat.

As stomach-turning as that sounds, it was more annoying anything else. Now, you know me. And being the naturally optimistic dreamer that I am, I assumed that this was him on this best behaviour and it was only going to get worse from here.

See? Optimists are always sunshine and rainbows.

Anyway, you've seen my reaction to his best behaviour. So I had mentally prepared myself for the worst. You know... a lot of meditating and early morning walks alone in some of the more beautiful forests around here.

But something happened.

Stag was nice to me. This is not to say that he was a perfect gentleman, at all. But he was a hell of a lot better than last week. It kind of threw me for a loop. I mean where's the lazy, uncaring smart-ass that I've come to loathe? So DJ, you have to understand that making this deal with him was solely due to my shock.

What is this deal you may ask?

Well, at that point, we had gone through 2 – 3 days worth of this new attitude of his and, to be completely honest, I was expecting to other shoe to drop.

The funny thing was that with my confusion and overall skepticism of his better personality, (dare I say it) he can be pretty funny. And Ok. Fine. Maybe his pearls of wisdom aren't that obnoxious.

No, I wouldn't say he is the best conversation I've had in a very long time.

...

Shut up DJ.

Anyway, in the haze of temporary insanity (caused by this unprecedented behaviour) I challenged him to a game of shogi.

Now that, in and of itself, is no reason for alarm.

But I give you the coup de grace. I promised him I would play any game he wanted once a week every week we got along.

I don't know how it happened.

One minute I was moving one of my knights to overtake one of his bishops, the next thing I know I'm promising him this crazy nonsense.

Traces of K's poison must have gotten into my shampoo and has obviously absorbed its way into my brain.

As soon as the words left my mouth, my brain snapped back to the land of logic and I instantly regretted saying anything.

At first, I didn't think he had heard me because he was still staring at the Shogi board. But he went stock still. So I thought I could pass it off like it never happened. It was his move. So instead of acknowledging what I said, his eyes were focused on the Shogi pieces in front of him.

I thought I was in the clear and was about to let out a sigh of relief when he finally made his move. Then he looked at me in the face and scoffed.

"That's ok." With that condescending tone to his voice.

I was just about to blast him for dismissing my offer when I looked at the board as well. I saw that he was ready to overtake my king.

I didn't need to look at him to know that he was smirking smugly.

It took every memory of K walking around the palace in his underwear in order for me not to smirk back at him in return. A kunoichi always knows how to put on her poker face, after all.

He thought he had the game in the bag. No contest.

But what he didn't know was that the Fourth Kazekage taught me how to play. He was well-known for his Shogi skills when he was younger. He always used to brag..uhm, tell me about it whenever we played.

I used to love Shogi when I was a little girl. It was because of the fact that when we played; it wasn't about the Kazekage and his young subordinate. It was just a dad playing Shogi with his daughter. That was about the only times he was just my dad, y'know?

Anyway, he did manage to teach me some things about the game.

When I looked down at the board, I saw one of my dad's favourite plays. It's supposed to take the king in 2 – 3 moves. This was also one of my favourites because it was usually 1 or 2 plays one used before one got desperate. I knew I had to take care of this before it got outta hand.

Using the moves my dad taught me, I was able to take his king with my pawn.

I was high off of my victory. The look on his face, I'm telling you DJ. Flies could have flown in and out of his mouth like it was a local inn or something. And instead of keeping my mouth shut and letting his stupid comments go, I said.

"If that's the way you wanna end it...."

Then I leaned across the board to push his chin back up to close his mouth for him. He was flustered by his loss and, immediately, demanded a rematch right there and then.

Of course, I told him no. But if he was going to behave himself till next week, then I might consider it then.

In the end, he relented. Grudgingly. But he relented. He was pretty quiet when he walked me back to the inn.

I didn't realize that I had the pawn piece in my hand until he had left.

When I tried to give it back to him the next day, he told me to keep it till the next time we played. After all, to the victor go the spoils, right?

I don't see how a used Shogi piece qualifies as victor's spoils but again:

Stag's logic. Not unravelling.

Anyway, I was feeling pretty good about the improved situation with Stag and my little deal until I talked to Lady-sama.

The day was coming to a close when she asked me about Stag being my guide. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who noticed his complete jackassery.

I got the feeling that she had to talk to him about it. Under normal circumstances, I would have laughed at Stag for getting reprimanded. But all I could think of was:

**One:** This would explain the almost complete 180 in his personality. I still don't want to really analyze why that fact bothers me. It just does.

**Two:** Since this is a 'order' from the boss, that meant that he would have to have been better regardless of whether I promised to play with him or not. I just should have kept my mouth shut.

Oh well. With every mission come sacrifices. And besides, I won't welch on a deal.

Dammit! This means I played right into his hands. Again.

Does this mean that the pawn should have really gone to him instead?

...

damn.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	7. Stacking the Odds

**A/N**: If this is a tad long. I'm sorry. Temari was unbelievably talkative this time around.

"Shika, is she always been this chatty? I had to edit like a beyotch."

"You have no idea." -smirk-

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?!"

"NOTHING TEMARI, NOTHING!"

Anyway, I'm going to try and get these up faster, but with everything going on right now....

How's this? I'll try my best :)

Please R&R. Thanx

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

So I've received the good news Gigi had alluded to last week.

Looks like K got promoted to Jonin.

Did you hear that sound DJ?

That was the sound of the seventh circle of hell opening up.

Guess how I found out about this wonderful news?

K told me himself. He was literally preening when he did it.

I'm still a little sick just thinking about it.

Apparently the standards for Sand Shinobi just get more and more lax every year. Hell in a hand basket, really.

I know you might be thinking that I'm back in the Sand Village, but oh no. I'm still in the Leaf. K was coming back from one of his missions and decided to 'stop by' and share the good news (which is all just K-speak for: 'sit down as my bragging will take a few days'). I haven't seen him swagger around like that since the first time he mastered his Iron Maiden Jutsu. I had completely forgotten about the swaggering until he reminded me and it's just a heinous as ever.

But that was nothing compared to what greeted me when I got back to the inn. I opened my door and I found that he's already made himself at home. His crap was all over the place. (You can imagine the joy I had when I found one of his revolting boxers briefs behind the armoire. What it was doing there, DJ, your guess is as good as mine.)

Now, not only did I have K's nauseating promotion burned into my brain, K also advised me that he was staying for a few days to see what a pseudo-Jonin mission looks like before he goes home and gets an assignment for REAL Jonin.

There's never any duct-tape around when you really need it.

No matter. He really didn't have much to say later. He thought it would be a good idea to go back to his old tricks. He adopted a new way of greeting me by jumping out of dark corners and scaring the living crap outta me.

The injuries I gave him for that little stunt were barely scratches!

Pfft. Come on, DJ. How could anyone be near coma if they're screaming head off like he was?

Besides, his eyes were closed for only a few minutes.

Big baby.

So my brother's now a Jonin like me. .._what was Gigi thinking?! _I mean... yeah.

In other depressing news, I lost to Stag this week. He had been pleasant enough during the week so after our last meeting this afternoon, I asked him to play a couple of rounds.

His eyes did not light up like the sun. And I certainly didn't think it was cute.

Anyway, I know that his last loss motivated him but, sadly, not enough to win the first two games. By the last game of the night (if I'm being perfectly honest) I started to think that it was all due to my great mind and strategic prowess. But all that went to pot when he pulled out all the stops and came out on top.

I was a little dazed at how abruptly he ended it. I think he was upset that it wasn't the clean sweep he was hoping for. So to ease his ego, I let him have the winning pawn piece. Even that didn't seem to mollify him. I was about to ask him what was wrong when he got up suddenly. He walked over to my chair and yanked up my collar so that it covered the black bra strap bold as day on my shoulder.

Apparently the light scoop-necked sweater I was wearing was a tad too big for me and the collar slid down my shoulder a bit.

He wouldn't look at me and he seemed a little red for some reason.

When he finally did look at me, he glanced at my covered shoulder and I could have sworn I say a flash in his eyes that said "FINALLY!"

He didn't ask me why I was smirking. He just put away the Shogi game and then walked over to the waitress and paid for our coffees. At least he waited for me at the door of the cafe. I should be so honoured.

He seemed to go into sentry-mode as he walked me home.

Now for someone who can barely keep his eyes open long enough to lift a pencil to paper, he was focusing really hard on the road in front of him. He didn't even spare me a glance.

It wasn't until I was practically inside my room and I could hear K banging around in the living room, when he finally decided to speak. He told me (with a straight face) that in future, I should try not to cheat so much and therefore; I should cover myself up the next time we played. He didn't even look at me when he said this.

Just when I processed what he had said and I ready to blast him, he had already walked away and was already at the stairwell when I got over my shock.

This is the only time you'll hear me say this but Thank Goodness K hadn't left yet because I was able to take some of my anger out on him. However, 15 minutes later, I heard a knock on my door. I went to answer it because K was unconscious ...uh indisposed at the moment.

I opened the door to find Stag standing there again. Upon seeing him, the onslaught of certain select words, I had on the tip of my tongue would have made even the saltiest of sailors blush. But for I could do anything, he grabbed my hand and stuffed something small, hard and smooth into my palm.

...(heh heh... I mean... ewww.... I mean) No DJ! Not that! -rolling eyes-

He gives me a disgruntled once over before he mumbles something that sounded like "Troublesome" (I can't be sure since he was turned his head from me at that point) and walked away again.

Now DJ, if I didn't know any better, I could have sworn he was blushing. But, of course, I know better since pineapples don't blush.

When I looked at what he had placed in my hand, it was the pawn piece.

Oddly enough, when I came back into my room (and K had cautiously come out of his hiding spot), he looked at me strangely and asked why I was grinning like an idiot all of a sudden.

You know what, DJ? I told him I didn't have the faintest I idea what he was talking about. ;)

Goodnight DJ,

T


	8. Schooling a Genius

**A/N**: I've just been working out the storyline for this and those two.

UGH! !t just seem to go on forever!

According to my notes, I've already gotten up to nearly 40 chapters already! I mean GEEZ! Mind, that really means 30+ are still rolling around in my head (since I haven't written them out yet).

But I like these two so much so, I'm willing to concede to them.

"Shika, could you do me a favour?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Can you scam... err... talk to Temari into not being so talkative next time? My hand hurts."

"Are you crazy? You do it. I got stuff to do."

"Clouds will form and float in the air whether you're watching them or not you lazy..."

"This has nothing to do with being lazy."

"Right. it has everything to do with you being a scaredy cat when it comes to her."

"...well, yeah. Aren't you?"

-thoughtful pause-

"Shoot."

Anyway, dear readers, if you're still willing to hang in there, then so am I.

Enjoy!

Oh. One more thing. Thank you for all the reviews so far, it makes my heart smile when I read them. Please keep 'em coming. So as per usual, please R&R. Thank you guys! :)

**Word Count: **2244

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

There's been a lot going on since the last time I wrote you. It's been quite an unusual week. Work aside of course. It's just been an interesting turn of events.

Stag and I hadn't seen each other all day. I was in back-to-back meetings since early morning and he had some training/something to do with his team. However, I was still able to get word to him that we were still on for that evening and to meet me at the same cafe we played at last week. He sent a messenger back to confirm but also to change the venue. Something about bad luck. Komoru said that Stag gave him this as an assignment in preparation for when he's a Genin. Apparently, the kid was already in the academy.

Anyway, my train of thought was interrupted when Komoru was told by some 'mysterious' shinobi that since this was something like an assignment, he should expect some sort of payment from me.

The brat even had the nerve to hold his hand out with this expectant look on his face.

I was just about to tell him to wait there and I was going to grab my fan when I heard him mutter:

"Whoa. Stag was right." The expression on his face was kind of reminicesent of the first time I caught Stag staring at me.

I asked him what he was talking about but he pursed his lips and said it was nothing. It took him a total of 3 minutes of hard staring before he broke down and blurted out that I was pretty when I was angry. He promptly covered his mouth in horrified surprised. It was as if he just gave away every last Leaf secret.

So after I gave him a few ryo for his tip, he smirked sheepishly at me and made me promise not to repeat any of this to Stag. I smiled and crossed my heart. But instead of ending our little tete-a-tete on that feel-good note, he walk away from me (enough to be out of reach) before he turned around and said:

"Thanks! You're pretty cool for an old lady!"

Then he waved and ran off I could grab a lamp and throw it at his head.

And he thinks he's going to the Seventh Hokage?

Delusion.

Anyway, I was able to finish up early because it was K's last night in town and I wanted... promised... was scammed into buying him dinner. This wasn't because I was proud of him for making Jonin or anything. I was just happy K was leaving the next day and this was the best way to keep him quiet.

...

Shut up DJ. That's the story I'm sticking to.

Moving on. Once we got a back to in the inn, I was able to take a quick shower & change before I left to go meet Stag.

Right before I left, K (of course) had a comment about my attire.

"I don't like it. You should cover up."

No, I did not think he was sweet when he tries to be protective. It's just because I fed his belly. And this is the beast's way of burping his thanks. Idiot.

...alright. Maybe it was a little sweet.

So instead I asked him what his problem since I wasn't showing any skin. He made his grumpy face and said that most sweaters just DIDN'T fit like that.

I told him that I was sorry but everyone can wear a pair of onesies and work it the way he can. And before he could work out what I said, I was already out the door.

You have to understand, DJ. K tends to over exaggerate everything as far as I'm concerned. The sweater fit perfectly I fine. It covers both my stomach and arms. I believe the term the saleslady used when I bought it was 'form-fitting'. I think the other words I heard (when I stepped out of the change room) were: "Wow" and "Hot Damn!" And two separate guys were willing to say that to me in front of their girlfriends so it can't be too bad, right?

No, it was not dubbed the 'Like Whoa' Top.

Look. The only reason I was wearing the sweter was because the rest of my clothes hadn't gotten back from the laundry service. The other reason was because in keeping with this new bond of friendship, I decided to take Stag's advice and abide by his request.

You know, DJ. You keep rolling your eyes like that & they'll stay like that permenantly.

Regardless of all that nonsense, I was feeling pretty good and relaxed when I arrived at the cafe. Stag was waiting for me out front. It may have been a trick of the light, but it looked like Stag's eyes widened as he watched me approached. When I finally got to him, he said nothing. As he opened the door to the cafe and his face was impassive, so I dismissed it and assumed that he was just cranky from his training. But when I passed him as I entered the cafe, I thought I heard him say "Not fair."

I pretended I didn't hear him and blamed my smirk on a joke a heard earlier in the day. We ordered our coffees and chatted for a bit about our day before we started the game.

I noticed something different about him and asked what happened. He told me nothing, but he looked different. Something was off. I noticed the earrings. He tells me that his squad lead just gave his team earrings for all reaching Chuunin status. And that it was also his parting gift.

I was thinking about how thoughtful his squad leader was when Stag paused for a second. Then he smiled at me in an annoying way, and I knew he was about to say something stupid.

"You know, if you're gonna stare hard enough to notice something like that, then maybe I should give you my picture. Not only is it portable, you can also put it under your pillow when you sleep."

Thank goodness the waitress came over with our drinks because, seriously, the urge to kill: rising.

But, sadly, Sand Ambassadors don't do violence. I told him it's a shinobi's instinct to be naturally observant and that I could understand if he couldn't see that because the size of his ego blocking everything from his view. Again he said nothing and just sat there, grinning at me like a jackass. But he lost the grin when I shifted in my seat to recross my legs. Now, who was the one with the staring problem again? I had to clear my throat in order to snap him out of his daze. He looked flustered when it was my turn to smirk at him and I asked him if we were going to get on with it already.

I honestly didn't know the human face could physically turn that shade of red.

The start of our game really wasn't that eventful. Well, except for maybe the odd fact that Stag seemed to be highly distracted whenever it was his turn. I didn't realize what it was until he whispered harshly: "Stop doing that."

Ok DJ. Be honest. Are leaning forward slightly and lower lip biting causes for the evil eye?

Exactly.

I mean really. I was just studying the board. Honestly. It was almost like he was offended by it from the way he was acting. I guess, even after being in the Leaf for this long, there are still local customs I need to learn.

Anyway, our game got interrupted at that point when Stag's best friend was walking past the cafe. He spotted us and came in to say hello. Hmmm. I think I'll call him... Monarch? Nah. Wings is better, right? Either way, he's a cool dude. What he's doing with Stag as a best friend follows the same logic of K's underpants being stuck behind random furniture.

Now the reason why I brought Wings up in the first place to begin with is simply because of the odd conversation we had. It was actually pretty normal until I mention the game Stag and I had last week.

Wings looked surprised. "What game? I thought you guys had to reschedule it for tonight."

Both of us turned to Stag at the same time. He looked like, well, a stag caught in headlights. After he offered his lame explanation that any Academy recruit could see through, Wings was smiling. He turned to me and said: "Oh so YOU'RE the reason he blew off dinner with me and the rest of Team 10..."

Whatever else he had to say was muffled by Stag's hand over his mouth as he dragged him out of the cafe.

It's ok DJ. My grin was that big too.

I didn't hear their conversation they had outside. It's not like I didn't try, though. Damn bus boys. So loud and no finesse.

It was a miracle that I hear: "Love you like a brother..." and "For a genius, you're acting like an idiot." and "Stop analyzing it and ..."

And what? AND WHAT?!

Ahem. But really, I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying to select one of the local newspapers near the cafe's front entrance.

Did you know that it's going to be a chilly 18 degrees celcius tonight with patches of cloudy periods and a 10% chance of precipitation?

...You know DJ, all that eye rolling can cause cancer. Ok. Maybe it doesn't. But doing it at that frequency can't be good for anyone.

Anyway. I was minding my own business back at our table by the time he finished his conversation with Wings. And for some unknown reason, I was feeling pretty chipper. But the way Stag stared at me as he sat back down would have made you think I shot the Hokage or something. He narrowed his eyes and asked me if I heard anything. I told him that Sand Ambassadors don't need to eavesdrop and that he should really work on his poker face.

What they teach at that Leaf Academy, I have no clue.

Anyway, I reassure him that I didn't but I wanted to know if Wings had left because I had an inexplicable urge to hug him. Of course, I believe this was due to my dignitary obligations. One must always be looking for ways to help repairing bridges, right?

So after we finished playing he, as usual, walked me home. Again, he seemed as a bit distracted. And in a completely break from norm, he keep up a consistent prattle of small talk. It was... distrubing in a refreshing sort of way. I know he was just trying to be nice but I dunno. I was beginning to feel weird.

Ok. By the time we got to back to the inn, I had found out many random facts about deer like baby foal can walk immediately after birth and that the male of the species grow antlers during mating season in order to attract the females. In a horrorifing bit of info that at the end mating, the antlers fall off.

What's so funny?....OH!...hee hee.. ahem. I mean... Oh, DJ, grow up. -rolling eyes-

Moving on. At the end of all that I was about to head inside my room when he grabbed my wrist and said:

"Look. I know you're leaving in the next couple of weeks and I was thinking that maybe we could.... have a send-off dinner for you. You know, since the meeting have gone so well and all. In a completely professional capacity of course."

When I didn't say anything he said hurriedly: "This isn't a date."

If it's not a date then why would a professional dinner between two collegues cause the asker to blush so much?

Yah. I tried to hide my smirk too.

So instead of answering I asked him if this had anything to do with his 'mysterious, top-secret' conversation with Wings.

"No! Where would you get that idea?" He looked a little miffed when he asked me (a bit suspiciously, I might add).

"Just asking. But since this is strictly professional, then sure. We could do that."

His face fell. "Well, not _strictly_ strictly... just..."

At that point I couldn't help it DJ. My smile was huge. "Yeah. Just."

And when Stage walked away, I knew his was too.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	9. The 'Not' Date

**A/N**: I have to say that I'm getting closer to kicking Shika's ass into speeding things up a bit. But I think I'll let it play out a bit more. Come on guys. We gotta give Shika a chance, right?

"Uh Temari? Do ya think you'd be able to spice things up a bit more with for the next couple of chapters?"

"You have no idea." -smirk-

"Good. Because if things don't get going soon, I might have to intervene..."

"WHAT?! Listen. No one is getting smexi teimz with Shika except me! GOT THAT?" -laser glare-

"OK! OK! fine! But if Shika starts wearing glasses, then all bets are off." ~~_Random Pimp Alert!_: If you haven't seen it yet, then please go drool over this classic pic at atlantisforester[dot]deviantart[dot]com/art/Shikamaru-Plus-Glasses-Equals-17371623 for the full effect.~~

-Temari stares at the salivating masses-

"Bring it on."

Alright then. We'll keep that in mind. Thanks Temari.

Anyway, as per my usual schpeel, please enjoy and (of course) R&R. THANK YOU! :)

Now, on with the show.

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

So I'm alone again. K's back home in the Sand awaiting his next assignment. And the week has flown by.

...

While I'm thankful for the breathing space (and Kami-Sama knows the lack of K's various bodily noises first thing in the every morning is like a breath of fresh air, literally), I have to admit it. That little bugger has a way of ... leaving an impression.

No DJ, I'm not going to say I miss him. ...AT ALL.

Anyway, annoying blood relations aside, work has been rewarding. It looks like we're nearly done ironing out all the finer details to a few contracts the Sand has made with a couple of the Leaf merchants. Some of them will be very happy indeed.

Ok. I've touched on that. Hmmmmm.... what else is there to talk about?

I guess that's it. :)

Goodnight DJ.

Kidding! I'm just kidding! Geez DJ, no need to have a conniption.

So the date with Stag.

Excuse me. The "Not" date with Stag.

Well, since we decided that it was not a date, we would treat this as any normal night. So no dressing up, no flowers were bought beforehand, no butterflies in my stomach, no pressure. Just two friends ....colleagues sharing a meal.

But maybe (just maybe) I may have spritzed a bit of my favorite perfume behind my ears. And his breath might have been a tad more mintier than normal.

And ok. Maybe there were a few butterflies.

Mind, the mutual dopey smiling and occasional blushing were at a level far exceeding what would be consider normal at a professional dinner.

But to anyone who saw us, they would have seen a Sand Ambassador and her guide. Nothing unusual. They would have assumed that we were discussing diplomatic topics of the utmost importance. The fact that we were talking about completely random (and sometimes ridiculous) nonsense is noone's business but ours.

I'm not going to rehash our conversation. Although, I'm sure I could analyze it to death, I don't really want to dissect it right now. Y'know?

It was just a great time. I could have talked to him all night.

Yes. I admit it. Stag gives great conversation.

But the most amazing thing about it was that it was so easy to talk to him, y'know? I'm not saying that he was an open book from the moment he picked me up. Talking to him was like ....

By the end of the night, we covered everything from favorite colours to the existence of life on other planets. And you know what? I still wanna know more.

I could go on for days about the what he thinks about certain things. Like whether he would rather be able to fortell the future or have all the money he will every need. See what I mean by random? But if you asked me what the waiter...waitress ...server's name was I would not be able to tell you. I know I ate food, but anymore specific than that and I'm stumped.

I'm sorry DJ. Is my girly showing? Ok. I'll stop.

Anyway, he walked me back to the inn. I was thinking that he wasn't into PDAs all that much (which is a relief, seriously) and what a surprisingly good time I had. Have you ever had one of those dates where you just didn't want it to end but couldn't wait to see the person the next day?

Yeah. I've never had that. -smirk-

DJ. Just because you point your finger at me and yell "Liar!" doesn't make it true, you know.

Anyway, I had just pulled out my room key when he said "It's a relief that this isn't a date. I might have been tempted to kiss you."

So (of course) I said "Exactly. If it was, I might have been tempted to kiss you back."

He smirks at me in completely non-sexy way (shut up DJ) and leaned in to kiss me.

Naturally, I leaned away from him and told him: "I say tempted because I don't kiss on the first date."

I smiled sweetly at him and opened my door. I was about to step inside, when I snuck a look at him. His expression was adorable and it made me smile. So I decided to do something about it. I turned back to him, stood on my tiptoes, leaned up and kissed him softly. Just left of his lips.

If only he moved his head a quarter of an inch!

Ahem. I mean. What I said to him at that point was:

"Thank goodness a Sand Ambassador has to know how to compromise, ne? G'nite."

A 'not' kiss to end the 'not' date. Well, I thought it was appropriate.

Then I quietly stepped back into my room and gently closed the door.

Yes. It was cheesy.

Yes. I was blushing.

Yes. I could see my apricot lipgloss on his cheek.

Would I go on another "Not" Date with him again?

Yes. In a heartbeat.

Goodnight (for real) DJ,

T


	10. A Kistory

**Chapter Title**: A Kistory

**Word Count**: 1964

**A/N**: Ok guys. Let me warn you. This is not so much about the ShikaTema magic this time around. This is more Temari focused. If you would prefer the interaction, then I would suggest that you skip this chapter. Seriously, it's ok. It doesn't have anything to do with the major storyline, but I wanted to do this.

Do not fear however. There is some definite action to be had in the future chapters. ... I'm sorry, but I cannot release anymore details. Shika might get mad at me giving away his secrets. And we don't wanna get him mad. He acts so pissy and uncooperative, I can't get him to talk to me afterwards. Now THAT is a drag.

"You insult me and then take my catchphrase. You didn't even do it right."

"Well, you didn't seem to using it lately. Decided to help myself."

"I'm leaving."

"Wha?! ...Alright fine. But don't blame me for what you have to do later." -evil smirk growing-

"Huh?"

-ignores- "YO TEMARI! OVER HERE! ...You know Scenario H you told me about? ThunderCats are Go!"

-rushes in- "Really?! I'm gonna get the rubber suit and the chicken wire!" -giddily rushes out-

-Shika pales considerably- "What is she gonna make me to do?"

"Hey, dude. I'm just here to do the dictation. Go ask the boss."

"I think I'm gonna need to stop this."

"Yeah. I think that'd be best. especially for you."

-runs after her- "TEMAAAAARRRRIIII!"

Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to be posting on a weekly basis. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it every Friday or Sunday. We'll see. But this week you guys are in for a two-for-one deal. Yayz on you.

And, as always, R&R if you are so inclined. Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

I know that this is the second time this week that I've written to you but I can't help it. I'm feeling inspired (read: I can't stop thinking about ...stuff). So I think the best way to get over this is to go back over it. I mean, way back over it. Let me explain.

The first kiss I ever had was when I was 6 years old. Yeah. I know. I was a dish even back then. K was playing with his puppets in his room and the Kazekage was either with Gigi or just doing some Kazekage-like thing around the palace, leaving me to my own devices.

I was wondering around doing 6 year old things and ran into a boy named Ichirouta to play with. He was one of the palace's worker's sons. Anyway, Ichiro talked me into playing doctor. I didn't know what doctor was until he piqued my interest by explaining the "I'll show you mine..." concept. He was really very sweet and the whole thing was totally innocent.

After we finished playing doctor, we started to get dressed again. He walked over to me. I thought he was going to say something but he just leaned forward and kissed me!

Thinking about it now, it wasn't so much of a kiss than it was him pressing his closed lips against mine. I was in complete shock.

Now picture it.

Two young kids, in various states of undress (as the way only 6 year olds can re-dress themselves) and the boy kissing the girl.

Exactly.

That was the precise moment that my father came into the room and spotted us. He pulled a Uchi & went batshit crazy. DJ, I say this in all honestly. I have yet to see a 6 year old run that fast again.

Normally, I would have helped poor Ichiro but I was to outraged. He kissed me?! Where was the holy mattress money we were suppose to be joined in the way grown-ups did at their weddings. I mean I did have a white t-shirt on that day, but how could that count as a wedding dress?

Anyway, I found out later that the reason why he kissed me was because his family was moving from the Sand. He thought if he kissed me, we would (of course) be married and he wouldn't be able to leave. Now you can't blame logic like that.

Once my father had calmed down a bit (read: after he got tired of chasing Ichiro). He (finally) decided he should check on his daughter. He explained many things about boys & girls that day. You can imagine my chagrin when I found out that all Sand boys carry some sort of dormant affliction. And I woud be instantly exposed if I came into contact with any of them.

I asked him if that meant that I wouldn't be force to play with K anymore. But he assured that since we came from the same mother, I was immune to their strand of the disease. How convenient. But, at the time, my 6 year old mind simply accepted it as fact & my father breathed a little easier that day. My father's word was law, after all.

Mind, if my father had anything to say about it, I would still believe that Cooties was a raging epidemic. And that I don't become immune until I'm 35.

Hey! All I can say is 6 year olds will believe anything. Thank goodness 6 year olds don't stay like that forever.

My next kiss was when I was 13; I was invited to a party at a girl's house. On paper, it was suppose to be a strictly-girl party. But to those of who knew the girl, we also knew her parents. They weren't going to be there because her parents trusted their implicitly.

Now _that_ girl was a hustler. She knew how to play the game, and had her parents wrapped around her honour-roll finger. And, not to brag, but the fact that she was hobnobbing with me didn't hurt her either.

Anyway, she had invited some some older boys to come by. And to be utterly truthful, it was kind of lame until someone came up with the brilliant idea of "7 minutes in heaven". I was paired up with Emori, a 14 year-old boy with glasses & messy black hair. When we first got in "heaven", it smelled a bit like moth balls & cedar. We both were nervous so we didn't do anything at first. But he seemed nice. He told me that it was ok if I didn't want to do anything because he could understand a goregous girl like me not wanting to kiss him.

I have to say DJ. I fell for it hook, line and sinker. So I leaned up to give him a kiss. A closed mouth kiss. What started out as a perfectly nice kiss turned into a disgusting mess of tongue and hands. It seemed that Emori had other ideas. So you'll have to understand when I had to knee him in the groin for his efforts. I had to, DJ. I needed to do it before he swallowed my head whole. I mean sweet Kami-sama! His tongue was like a dying fish flopping around in my mouth. -shudder-

Understandably, after that incident, I was put off kissing for a while. This ended up to be a good thing because the boys kept their distance as well. Initially, it was because of the party. Afterwards, it was because of Gigi. In fact, the boys ran away after that. The ones that were brave (or stupid) enough to try were few and far between.

My next kiss took place right before the first time I took the Chuunin Exam. It was a couple days before K, Gigi and I were to leave when I got approached by, Ayato, an occasional sparring partner. He pulled me aside and told me that he like me a lot.

I was flattered. But I had never thought about Ayato that way. There wasn't any sparks and I assumed he had a girlfriend. I was about to ask him about her when he caught me off guard and kissed me!

DJ, do you remember that saying about making assumptions? Yeah. Well, how come I was right and I still ended up feeling like an ass?

Anyway, the kiss only reenforced that we were better off as sparring partners because there was absolutely no chemistry. I was about to gently turn him down, when a blur of bright red hair came flying out of nowhere and immediately started attacking Ayato. Also, my ears began ringing incessantly.

It wasn't until I backed away from him that I saw that the red-headed blur was actually a girl. And that the ringing wasn't really ringing. It was a high-pitched squealing. It took me a minute to realize that it was the girl screaming. I know she probably was saying something horrible about me but (GOOD LORD!!), I'm telling you DJ, only slightly deaf dogs could understand what she was saying.

As a crowd gathered to watch (not to break up, mind) the spectacularly horrifying exchange unfold, I learned a few things:

**One:** I was just a means to an end.

Ayato didn't know how to break with Jirian, his girlfriend, and decided to make her do it for him. She just needed a nudge in the right direction. And based off of that asinine logic, I would be the perfect girl to help with this numbnut idea.

**Two:** It might seem unbelievably easy to slip into a crowd.

It's not. Especially when you're one of the reasons (however involuntarily) why the crowd is there to begin with.

**Three:** The fastest way to solve this problem is simply to divert the attention. Thank goodness someone started chanted Jirian's name to egg the fight on. The hord seemed to like it because they all started chanting it together as one immediately. That put the focus back on the two lovebirds.

I gotta tell you DJ. There's nothing like a ravenous mob chanting "JIRI! JIRI!" to remind you about how ridiculously surreal life can be sometimes. But, for some reason, it seemed oddly appropriate.

Anyway, by the time the accusations of sleeping with the other's various family members started flying, I took that as my cue to leave.

Sometimes, sensationally wicked entertainment can deteriorate into pub brawl so quickly. I could see it coming and I wanted to get out before I got caught in the crossfire. Now, please don't misunderstand. As stated before, I can hold my own. But what would I tell the Jounins (or ANBU) who tried to break it up?

"Sir, the reason why I gave Ayato a black eye and why Jirian lost her front teeth is because they slept with each other's sisters?"

If I were the Jounin who had to hear that, **I **would have thrown my ass in prison for SBA. That's right, DJ. Stupidity by Association.

No. That would not work. And anyway, K would have been beside himself if he ever found out. I could easily see 6 months worth of material there. And then I would have to kill him. See what I mean? No good (albeit extremely tempting sometimes).

So that's all the kisses I've had in my life (aside from the one with Stag. And that wasn't even a real kiss). It's sad really. Why couldn't I just have one good kiss? One that didn't end in disgust, terror or drama? Why couldn't it be tender with gentle caresses, sweet whispered nothings and blissful anticipation for that single moment?

Stop vomitting DJ. As stated before, I am a girl. And every girl is allowed... is required a dose of romance every once and a while. Sometimes, cheesy romance is good for the soul. Mind, if I start wearing pink and writing love poems, I'm going to stop writing entirely and will throw you in a fire. Hey, I know that's sounds ruthless. But I can't have evidence lying around so any idiot can find it, now can I? What kind of kunoichi would that make me?

Anyway, the ideal kiss doesn't need to be sweet. Sometimes, I imagine him and I getting under each other's skin all day. Little snide comments meant to sting but really only enraging each other further. Needling each other until we end up in a stupendously heated argument. Both of us interchangably shouting and growling at each other. Both desparately trying to suppress our mutual longing until he snaps and throws me up against a wall, pinning me to it. And then he'd start kissing me with all the passion, frustration and desire he'd been withholding. He would kiss me until I'd submit. And I would. ...eventually.

-sigh-

As you can see, I've only thought about these things in passing. But now I'm just rambling and it is now 2:52am and I have to get some sleep. Hopefully, this'll have been enough to pause my mind from racing for a moment. Just give me enough time to stop thinking about ideal kisses ...and who I'd share them with.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	11. Coffee, T & Shogi

**Chapter Title:** Coffee, T & Shogi

**Word Count:** 1423

**A/N:** Hey y'all. back again. It's like a sickness really.

As promised, here is the next installment.

Don't have much to say this time around. And Shika and Temi are doing laundry or something. Kami-sama knows. I'm still trying to flesh out the next chapter.

Anywho, thank you for your reviews. I love your feedback (whether good or bad) and would like to keep them coming. :)

So as per normal, R&R and enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

So the meetings are slowly starting to wind down. All the t's have been crossed and the i's have been been dotted for the contracts we've been working on. I just have an idea that's been playing around in the head for some time now. I'm going to talk to Lady-sama about it tomorrow. I think it's a good one and if it gets approved, I can't wait to get started on it.

Shut up DJ. Extending my stay is not why I'm excited about it!

No, no, NO! Wrong. He's not the reason either!

You know DJ, that throwing-you-in-fire idea is sounding more & more appealing by the minute.

Hey. I'm just saying.

Moving on to other news, I've recieved a very spiffy invitation to a masquerade ball in about 3 weeks. Apparently, the Feudal Lord...I mean Mo' Money (or Momo for short) has heard of all the prospering new businesses being created by the re-establishment of the Sand-Leaf relationship. And he's decided to ring in the cash flow... excuse me... alliance with a bang.

Anything for a party.

I had hoped that a somewhat private casual dinner would have sufficed. But I supposed a Sand Ambassador's gotta do what a Sand Ambassador's gotta do.

I was talking to Momo's wife, Madam Bling, and she'll be the one in charge of organizing this monstrosity of an event. It looks like they've invited the who's who of the Fire Country.

"It's going to be THE event of the season, Dahling! It has to be absolutely FAABBULOUS!"

Madam Bling is quite a character. I'm sure it's nothing but one gala, after ball, after shopping spree after another. Don't get me wrong. She seems like a nice lady and all but that demon cat she always carries around with her looks like evil incarnate. But maybe that's just the way the cat's face is. -shrug-

During our talk, she said that my attendance was mandetory. I didn't have any problem with it until she told me that I would be the guest of honour and I might be called upon to make a speech. ...WTF?!? Oh HELL No! ...I mean, can't I just shake hands and kiss babies? She wouldn't hear word of my doubts. She assured me I'd be fine and then toddled off, demon cat in tow.

It's OK. There's no need to panic. yet. The party is a little while away. I still have time to convince Madam Bling otherwise.

Besides, I have to look for a costume. Public speaking aside, is it girly of me to look forward to the prospect of dressing up slightly more that the actual party itself?

-sigh- Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, Stag said that all the Leaf Village Nin have been invited as well. Not just as guests, mind. You can't have the who's who the Fire Country congregated at one spot and not expect there to be proper security, now can you?

Stag told me as much when we met for our weekly Shogi match. I was so dismayed, I added too much sugar & not enough cream to my coffee before I sipped it.

"You'll be working that night?" Trying to keep the disgusted tone out of my voice, setting the coffee down. That was convenient because it hid disappointment well.

"Yeah. Well, I have to see to the Sand Ambassador that night. You wouldn't want me to disappoint a dignitary, would you?" His grin was a bit too knowing.

No, he isn't cute when he's trying to be slick. Although I was surprised, I covered it quickly.

"Oh, of course. We wouldn't want that."

"Yeah. I mean, we have to put our best foot forward, right?"

"Oh do you now?." I asked him coyly, smiling.

"Besides, I've still have a lot of plans for you...uh...her and I."

...

When he said that, I paused. All I could think of was:

_... What?_

_me? _

_He has plans for 'her and I'? _

_He's been thinking about ....? _

_Him. And me. And plans. _

_Future plans. _

_on his mind. As much as I've been....?_

_He's been thinking about me and him together._

_Plans. That means more than one._

_How many are there?_

_So ...what kinda plans are they? _

_How many are there?_

But being an Sand Ambassador, I am smooth like butter and quickly gathered my wits and said.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Just be sure she has a smashing good time and I'm sure she'll be putty in your hands."

I had realized what I had implied when Stag's eyes widened & I felt my cheeks warm suddenly.

"I mean the Hokage's hands... I mean... just..."

See? Like silk. -rolling eyes-

Stag smirked and gave my words back to me by saying "Yeah. Just."

Then he finished setting up the Shogi board and said. "It's your move."

I was still a little flustered when he said this. Instead of confirming the smirk (I knew was) on his face, I kept my eyes on the board, thinking that the comment was referring to Shogi.

The whole time we were playing didn't have the same feel as the other times we've played each other. It was more about the conversation & trying not to feel the electricity any time his leg grazed mine when he stretched in his seat or when my fingertips skimmed over his when we both reached for the sugar at the same time.

Besides, I was more interested in going over my new idea with Stag before I presented it to Lady-sama. When we were walking back to the inn, I told Stag about it. He was impressed and said he like it a lot. I told him that I may need his input later on, if this project got approved. He assured me that it would and said with a sly grin:

"If you want me, all you have to do is ask."

Now DJ. This is Stag we're talking about here. Who knew he could be that suave? Had he actually learned something from that delectable squad leader of his? So being the smart-ass that I am, I shrugged and told him he was absolutely right and casually asked if Wings was available. I grinned back at him, cheekiness firmly in place.

He didn't say anything. He just stood there. And I think it's safe to say it DJ. He was not impressed.

My, my, my. Someone does love their pouty face when things don't go as planned. I was trying to keep my snickering to a minimum. But something inside me made me say:

"I'd rather spend time with you doing... other things." I finished off softly.

Yes DJ! Yes! I was blushing OK?! Geez. You don't have to be cocky about it.

Sometimes, I think you and Stag share the same brain because his expression changed to surprised smugness too.

So, in an effort to get some clarity (and not to change the subject), I remembered I wanted to ask him something. I didn't even realize it until I was about to open the door to my room. So I asked

"Hey. Who won the game tonight?"

He looked at me strangely for a moment then said "You did."

"Really?" Did I miss something? I coulda sworn his bishop took my...

"Yeah." He was smiling. "You had me by your first move. G'nite T." And he walked away.

For some reason, that made me blush even harder.

I rolled my eyes at his retreating figure. By the time I closed my door, however, I was smiling too because I knew wasn't talking about Shogi.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	12. The 'Not' Fight

**Chapter Title:** The 'Not' Fight

**Words: **2224

**A/N:** Looking back at the last chapter, I have to admit that I wanted more to happen. But Shika refused to do any more. I don't know whether it's because he's lazy or whether he's just being coy. Good Lord, he's such as girl sometimes.

"You're just mad that I don't give away the milk for free."

"..." -shakes head-

"What?!"

Nothing Shika. Nothing at all.

Moving on. Some of you may not be happy with me after this. But I promise you that it's always darkest before the dawn. Things are about to hit the fan. Hang in there with me, k?

This chapter **really** gave me a hard time. Usually, it takes me (at most a couple of days) to put a chapter together. For some reason, it took me almost the full 7 days to get it down properly. Maybe it's because, subconsciously, I didn't want to do it. If that makes any sense. Who knows? meh.

Anyway, if you love it, hate it, or just want to vent about random stuff (no spam tho pls), leave me a note.

"AHEM. I think what Summer is trying to say is R&R." -rolling eyes-

"Yes. THANK YOU SHIKA. How come you can't be that direct with other stuff?"

"I just told you..."

ANYWAY. Like Captain Obvious over here just said: Please R&R and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.

* * *

DJ,

I am so mad right now, I can barely see straight. So instead of writing this out, I've just included a snippet of this week's meeting transcript. It'll explain everything.

Note: I've done a bit of editing and changed all the names to protect the names of the innocent and (for some ungodly & unknown reason:) the asshole.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to destroy random rock formations or turn a forest into firewood before I snap and have a rage blackout. Ja ne.

* * *

Nade: Well, that takes care of the last item on today's agenda, ladies & gentlemen. And before we adjourn this meeting, are there any other issues?

T: Yes, Lady-sama. I would like to tell you all about my proposal.

[Silence from table]

Nade: Usually, new proposals are advised of at the beginning of the meeting. But since you are the Sand Ambassador I suppose, allowances must be...

SN: With all due respect, Hokage, that's not true. Remember? I wrote you a report on it and you and I discussed it before the meeting officially started.

Nade: Oh! Your idea of setting up a Shinobi Training Academy in the Sand Village? I remember it, of course. I gave that report of yours to Danyo-san & Kira-san. What did you think gentlemen?

T: [thinking: **_Pardon Me_**?!! _**HIS**_ Academy idea?!]

DYS: This was your idea SN? Well, I have to say that I am very impressed. And Lady-sama says that you wrote this report the same day you submitted it. I am REALLY impressed.

KS: Is that the one I read 2 days ago? You wrote that detailed report in one night? It had projections for the next decade in it...and charts! You must have been working on it for a while...

SN: No, I did it the same night the idea came to me. What can I say? I was inspired.

Nade: That's good. But why is T presenting your idea?

T: ...YES, Shitkataru. WHY am I presenting your idea?

SN: I thought we already went through this, T. We thought it would be better if we represented a united front on this. That's why you'll be taking the lead on this. This'll be your baby. Of course, if you need someone to for advice and whatnot, I'm sure that can be arranged as well. -idiotic smirk-

T: You're LETTING me take the lead on this project?!

SN: Yes, that's what I just said T. Whoever this person is, you're going to be working together a lot over the next couple of months. I'm guessing you can't wait to get your hands dirty

T: Oh! I can't wait to get my hands around something alright... So you're basically saying that I get to do all the work? Why _THANK YOU_ Shit. You are sooooo ..

SN: You're welcome. Lady-sama, I'll need to oversee this, of course. To make sure that everything runs smoothly. T, you shouldn't grind your teeth like that.

Nade: Of course, SN. In fact, I prefer it.

Random Councillor 1: I'd expect nothing less from one of the Leaf's own geniuses.

[Murmuring of approval/agreement around the table]

Random Councillor 2: You show the Sand how it's done right, SN!

[laughter & smugness around the table]

SN: Of course, you know I'll keep the little lady in line.

[snickering]

T: What. did. you. say?

Nade: Enough prattle. The idea is a good. I think that this will further aid in strengthening our alliance with the Sand, and will guarantee a consistent level of excellence of Shinobi for both of our Villages. So, we shall cast a vote. All those in favor of SN's inspired idea, raise your hand...All those against? Good. It's settled. The Ayes have it. Congratulations SN. I have a feeling this idea of yours is going to be one for the history books.

SN: Thank you Hokage.

T: Yes. **Your** idea seems almost good enough to kill for.

SN: [laughs] Oh T. I wouldn't go that far.

T: [fake laugh] Oh Shikataru. I know I could. [fake smile, staring daggars]

SN: [inaudible whisper]

T: What do you have to explain? I mean, are you sure you should? Obviously, a big idea like that for a little lady like me, may go right over my pretty little head. I'll just leave all that deep thinking to you. Thinkin' sounds hard.

[jackasses chuckling in background]

SN: T...

T: No, no, no! You're absolutely right Shit. I have to admit it. With that big fact head ...brain of yours, I seriously think you should die in fire.

SN: ...Pardon?

T: Excuse me. I meant 'set the world on fire'. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have pressing matters to attend to. Lady-sama, is that all?

Nade: Yes T...Gentlemen, this meeting is adjourned.

SN: T...Wait!

Nade: Wow. She's subtle. It's no use SN. She's already gone. What happened with the two of you?

SN: ... It's complicated.

* * *

_**Edit:**_ I'm back. Feel minutely better now. Displaced a ton of woodland creatures, but I really still am too angry to care. Just have a few more things to say about the above before I try to go to sleep.

Complicated?

I don't see complicated. I see a lying, sexist, idea-stealing asshole. What's so complicated about that?

DJ. I **_HATE _**HIM.

I haven't seen his cowardly rat ass since.

**I**

**HATE**

**HIM**

**SOOO**

**MUCH**

**RIGHT**

**NOW**.

**_Another Edit:_** Now that I've calmed down a bit, I'll be able to write without wanting to kill a few people. It's now down to one person. I'll give you 3 guesses as to who it is.

Let me tell you what happened after the meeting. You may realize that I had made myself unavailable for the rest of the afternoon. In fact, I didn't even come back to the inn unitl it was well passed 11pm.

Hey what can I say? I got a lot of rage sometimes. I don't know what to say.

I know what you're thinking DJ. Why get angry when I could just get even? Well, that's a great question. And, in retrospect, I should have just demolished the whole building. But my job as an Ambassador is to maintain GOOD relations between the Sand and the Leaf. If I reached for my fan, started taking names and handing out cans of whoop ass, that would have been just a tad counterproductive. Besides, this isn't about just me or my feelings. This is so much more than that douchebag and I put together.

I never knew it, but the good ol' boys club, at the meetings with Lady-sama, has been on its best behaviour for the last few months. Now that we're nearing the end, I suppose, their guards are down and the true colours are showing through.

Why Lady-sama hasn't handed their asses to them defies comprehension.

Maybe she has, but it just didn't stick. I guess you really can't teach old, chauvinistic, condescending piece of monkey turds new tricks.

But I'm digressing here.

I didn't see Stag for the rest of the day. I was fully expecting that deceitful ass to be grovelling at my sandal-ed feet by the time I got back to the inn.

YES DJ! I expected him to be dutifully waiting by my door, apology pouring from his lips, gift in hand. For the crap he pulled, he should have erected a statute in my honour, for not killing him on the spot.

But you know what really got me livid?

When I did finally see him the next day, he acted like nothing was wrong. Mind you, that may have been due to the fact that we were never alone for a moment. But I don't care. He could have made time. The fact is, that he didn't. When we did get some time to ourselves, Shit remembered to take his head out of his ass and started explaining himself. But it was too late. He had his chance, and now, I wasn't going to listen to him. Besides, by that time, I had come to a more philosophical conclusion about yesterday's events.

"T..."

"That's Madam Ambassador to you." I corrected him.

"Come on, stop it. Let..." He reached for my hand. Thinking about it now, that's the first time he ever did that. Hmph. Looks like someone finally realizes he's in the shit house.

"Let's get a couple of things straight. For the sake of our villages, I'm not going to blast you for stealing my idea." I yanked my hand away from his reach. "And whatever ideas you had about us are incorrect. You and I have a strictly professional relationship. Besides, I'm not mad at you anyway."

"Yes, T. You are..."

"You don't get to call me that, Shinobi."

He looked shocked.

"And don't try to own my feeling as well. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself."

He looked confused.

"I can't believe I allowed myself to trust you. That's what I get for thinking that we were friends."

"We are friends T..."

"No. We're not. We were never really friends before and we aren't friends now."

"You're not even letting me explain!"

You've made it quite clear that you don't like explaining anything important to me. Why start now?"

"T... I don't wanna fight with you."

I laughed. It was an odd laugh that sounded foreign even to my ears. It was hollow and high-pitched. But I didn't care.

"We're not fighting Shit-san. In order for us to be fighting. We have to be mad at each other. I am not mad at you. This is an assignment. You are an assignment. I don't get mad over work."

"But I thought..." His face fell.

"Yeah, well. That's the problem. You didn't think." Man, I was irritated.

"T. Just let me explain!"

I frowned and shrugged. "No. You had all day yesterday and first thing this morning to explain things. So what? Now, you've finally thought it was time you would enlighten me? Too late, time's up."

"Listen to me..."

"I don't have anything left to say to you. This conversation is over. Leave."

"Dammit woman! Will you stop being such a pain in the ass and listen to me?!"

"Hmph. Insult me and start making demands. Great way to make me listen, genius."

"Just shut up and let me get this out..."

I said it was too late already. And anyway, at that precise moment, I had the strongest urge to go the forest and destroy...um...train. He had to go. So I spoke over him.

"I'm gonna say this to you with all the dipolmatic tact I can: Fuck you Shinobi."

"That's diplomatic?"

I arched my eyebrow at him and said in all seriousness: "All things considered between you and I? Yeah it is."

He stood there for a moment, and I knew he wanted to say more. But the way I was feeling, he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere. So he walked away. I turned back into my room and slammed the door really (satisfyingly) hard. I think any harder and I would have broken it.

We are NOT in a fight.

I feel nothing. I am not angry. I am not betrayed.

Calming breath..... Ok.

Tomorrow is my day off. I am going to sleep in late, then have a luxurious breakfast. I'll go train for a few hours. And after I finish showering, I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon getting lost in the crowds downtown.

I will not think about him, I will not see him. I do not feel anything when it comes to him.

...

Now. If I don't feel anything. Why can't I get to sleep?

...

Damn him.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	13. Growing Pains Awkward Turtles

**Chapter Title**: Growing Pains (Awkward Turtles Remix)

**Word Count**: 1624

**A/N**: This was another hard one, guys. I don't know what it is, the mojo's not flowing for some reason. I'm very pertrubed.

"Maybe that's because you keep making me look like a jackass."

"You think that's the reason?"

"Surprising, I know. You having a conscience. But stranger things have happened."

-deep thought-

"Nah, Shika. That can't be it. I never had one of those. Why would I start now?"

"What are you guys talking about? Summer, I loved it."

"Thank you Temari. You and me both." :)

Anyway, pls R&R and enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

**Edit**: Sorry guys. had to delete and change something in the chapter. It is back up as you can see. Sorry!

* * *

DJ,

OK. So here's the deal.

I talked to Lady-sama privately after that disasterous meeting last week. I told her I would prefer to work alone on the Academy project. I advised her that I was only going to take notes. And, if necessary, speak to a couple of the Sensei to get a better understanding of the curriculum.

Lady-sama had her reservations and thought it would be best that I still work with Stag. She said it was due to the fact that we (normally) worked so well together. I told her that although that was true, I would still prefer to work alone since I was sure he could be put to better use as a Shinobi rather than tagging along with me all day.

DJ, you would have been so proud of me. I was able to keep the revulsion out of my voice when I said his name.

Anyway, I told her that if she preferred I have a consultant, I asked if I could have a different person than him. I told her it would be better to have some fresh perspective, am I right? Kami-sama knows, that I am girl that appreciates fresh perspective

She didn't seem quite convince however. After a few moments of quiet contemplation and discreet evaluation of my body language, she asked me if I was in a fight with Stag.

Now, I know this would normally be the point where I spill my guts to Lady-sama and tell her everything that happened. But I didn't. Unlike some scumbag I know, I will not steal anyone's thunder. If anyone should tell the Lady-sama what an asshole he is, then it should come from the jackass' mouth himself. Besides, telling the Hokage about Shit's misdeeds smacks of:

"I'm telling mommy on you!"

I am an adult. I refuse to succumb to childish antics anyway. Besides, this is a prob...an issue between Shit and I. We should be able to resolve it on our own. But since there is nothing to resolve, he should just stay the hell away from me.

Anyway, I was adamant with Lady-sama. She still didn't believe that nothing was wrong between him and I. But she finally conceded. She mentioned that a member from Squad 8 was available and I got introduced to him a few hours later.

I gotta hand it to Lady-sama. For all the drinking, gambling and whatnot, she really gets the job done.

I thought it would have been better to just go along with one of the Chuunin already teaching there, however, Lady-sama thought she would rather have me talk to the teachers after or between classes instead of being underfoot. And with Wolf around, I would as get a tour of the Academy grounds itself. What could I say? Of course, I had to agree. It's the least I could do when she just accomodated my request.

Anyway, Wolf seems really nice. He didn't talk much, which is a refreshing relief. But he's got this...I dunno know how to describe it. I think it's something akin to animal magnetism about him just bubbling below the surface. You know he has a wild streak in him. In fact, if I wasn't so fed up with boys at the moment, I might have been ...intrigued. I dunno. When I look at him, I picture earthiness, calloused fingertips and rough, passionate...uh forceful handling.

What's that DJ?

Shut up! I do not have a trashy novel hidden hidden under my pillow at the inn! I just have an active imagination. -blush-

Regardless of that little sidebar, that's what I think of when I look at Wolf. Unlike when I think of ... Nothing! I think of Nothing!

Now DJ. Cool your jets. No. I am not interested in Wolf. He and Fang, his dog, are great but I am not in the Leaf for a social call. My description of him is a completely detached one. No seriously. Besides, I've had more than my fill of that nonsense, thanks.

Anyway, we were allowed to observe one of the senior classes one afternoon. And when I say observe, DJ, I mean getting introduced to the class and then paraded arounded the classroom like a circus elephant. AND OF COURSE! Let's not forget the _ADORABLE_ Q&A session. Kami-sama it was like we were brought to the Interrogation 101 on pop quiz day!

After that bit of ugliness, we were about to go back to really observing the class when guess who shows up!?

Now, I don't know what hairbrained scheme cooked up but I was not impressed. We were still standing at the front of the class when the asshole asked to speak with Wolf privately. They talk outside the classroom. And Wolf leaves. So, of course, this means that that flaming pile of dog shit has to come in and join me back in the classroom.

Again he pretends nothing is wrong. He smiles at me. I look at him... excuse me. I see through him and turn away. Jackass.

Obviously, with the both standing there like idiots, this meant Act 2 of the interrogation. The only bright spot is when a girl at the back asked: "Are you two dating?"

I immediately answer that I prefer men to boys. He looked pissed off but didn't say anything. The questioning steered away from that dangerous topic for a while; but we ended up back there again just as we were finishing the interrogation ...pardon me, Q&A.

My favorite question though was from one of the more astute little boys ...excuse me young men. He turned towards the idiot and asked him point blank (without any pre-amble): "When are you going to say sorry?"

Shit looked surprised. "What are you talking about?"

The little boy doesn't say anything but takes a pointed look at me before focusing back on him.

I didn't become infuriated when he said "For what?"

I was looking at numerous books sitting underneath a window. I snuck a glace at the boy, he was shaking his head.

"It doesn't matter. Every time my sister is in a fight with her boyfriend, she says it's his job to say sorry first." Nodding sagely.

See DJ? There really was a genius in that classroom.

"Uh... I..." He felt his eyes glance hesitantly at me again.

But I did not acknowledge it and addressed the question promptly again: "We are not fighting. Next question." What I wanted to say was: "We are not fighting and the words 'Shit-san' and 'my boyfriend' in the same sentence follows the same logic of looking for a skating ring in hell. Next question."

Another little boy from the back let out a low whistle and said in a stage whisper: "Whoa! She's really mad. What did you do, dude?"

But before I could goad prompt him into confessing what a colossal fuckwit he is, the sensei says: "Why do you think so?"

I stood there in shock as the boy rattle off: "The way her stance changed when he entered the room. See how it's all stiff and rigid? Her refusal to really look at him. And look. Although her head's turned towards him but she's not really seeing him. And the fact that she can barely keep the disgust out of her voice when she addresses or talks about him..."

"Yes. That's quite enough." As much as I liked this dissertation, it was kinda unnerving being thoroughly scruntized so accurately by a 12 year-old. It was also hard to maintain my objectivity or even an impassive face. Besides, I think that Shithead got the point. I turned to Sensei wondering why he didn't stop this uncomfortable conversation. He was looking at the boy and, nodding approvingly, said

"Good. I'm glad to see you actually have been listening, Komoru."

"Yes Sensei. Of course I have. Just because I don't look I'm listening doesn't mean I'm not. It's like you always say Sensei: Look underneath the underneath."

"It wasn't that great, Komoru. Don't get full of yourself."

During the pause between them speaking, I heard the door click. I noticed that Shit left.

And no DJ, my neck did crick when I whipped... uh turned around when the door opened again. I did not feel a drop of regret suddenly mingle in my rage as I saw Wolf re-enter the room.

The rest of the day passed without incident and aside from the boring details I will spare you of, it's been highly productive. A great start to the project.

Wolf was very pleasant and sweet and I think we're going to be frie... It'll be easier to work with him. We even went out afterwards, he introduced me to a few people just for a drink to unwind for a bit before we headed our separate ways.

Had a great afternoon souvenir shopping and found this great bracelet (I'll probably never wear).

Yup. Aside from the hiccup from earlier in the morning, everything's been peachy keen.

Absolutely great.

....

Undeniably awesome.

...

Yes. Stu-frickin-pendous.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	14. Things that go bump in the night

**Chapter Title**: Things that go bump in the night (Prelude)

**Word Count**: 2647

**A/N**: Good news is that it's slowly getting better. Hopefully, the mojo will be back to normal for the next installment. and that'll be...Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. I need a distraction.

"So I'm rough and passionate, huh?" -sly grin-

"Well, maybe." -smirk- "Must have something to do that animal magnetism you got in your coat pocket over there."

-nods- "I never leave home without it. But Summer. You gotta tell 'em. I'm not gonna whip that animal magnetism out on her. It goes against the code."

"Who are you talking about? Temari? What code?"

"Oh you know. Bros before..."

"You finish that sentence, Dog boy, and I promise you. The next chapter that 'animal magnetism' of yours is going to get caught in a slamming door."

-blanches slightly then grumbles- "I'm just saying..."

-rolling eyes-

Anyway guys. Please R&R and Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

What is it with girls of a certain age and costumes? Why do they believe that if they're going to a party where a costume is involved then that obviously means that one's skin needs to be replaced by something in spandex, that disgusting polyester blend or latex? I'm sorry DJ. But I had to say it. Good Lord! I thought vampires were suppose to be fierce, not skankified. And since when do nurses go parading around in outfits that are too tight to breathe in properly, never mind walk? And what's with the enormously high platform heels and bright red fishnet stockings! I mean just eww. It looks like some of them... ah well, what can I say? Drag queens do it SOOO much better. -sigh-

Last one. DJ, be honest. Have you ever seen a cat covered in a latex one-piece?

...

What?! Shut up! That was a rhetorical question!

...

Geez, DJ. You're a bit of a freak.

Anyway, there is a reason why I brought all this up to begin with. I went shopping for my costume today and sweet Kami-sama! What a disaster. It was like the whole city was invited to the Masquerade Ball. ...Mind you. Thinking about Madam Bling, I wouldn't doubt it.

Moving on, I know it kinda seems ridiculous to go looking for a costume when I can just use a transformation jutsu. But hear me out. It's simply because of 3 reasons.

**One**: This gave me the opportunity to further ingratiate myself with the citizens of the Leaf.

**Two**: Can you really blame a girl for looking forward to the process of shopping AND dressing up? um hello.

Again with the eye rolling DJ!!

**Three**: And lastly, in all seriousness, it was my day off & i needed a break. I wanted to do something frivolous and selfish. If I didn't, I would have nothing to do today. And I tend think a lot when that happens... y'know? So I just needed something that would take my mind off of...other stuff.

Right. So Madam Bling recommended a costume store that was "Absolutely Smashing, Dahling!" and that I "MUST" go see them.

Yeah DJ. I've wondered if she ever gets tired of being a caricature of herself too. But I can't blame her, because she's a riot. I think that comes with the territory of being cra... eccentric.

Now, onto her recommendation. I decided to check it out first. Apparently, I wasn't the only one she recommended the place to. I saw so many people there that day. I recognized some, chatted to a couple, and wanted to choke few of them.

Speaking of which, **he** had managed to be there at the same time. Why he was there, blame it on the fact that he's added 'Stalker' to the list of his shady abilities.

The fact that he was there first is irrelevant. He completely ignored the tramps... excuse me, random girls he was talking to when he saw me.

Hmph. Randoms.

I completely ignored all of them and made my way over to the nearest sales person. When I approached her, she looked as impressed as I was. Then she tells me they've run out of the "Sexy" Vampire costumes. But the "Sexy" Fairy, the "Sexy" Nurse & the "Sexy" Devil were still available if I jumped on them now. And then she showed me those options.

Do all costume designers think the definition of sexy is really a synonym for slutty? Good Lord, I hope not.

I shook my head and politely declined. She paused for a moment. Then said: "Look, I know this may sound a little forward, but would you do me a favor?"

I shrugged and cautiously nodded. She discreetly pointed to the girls who were (STILL!!!) talking to Shit and told me I don't give off the appearance of one of those girls. So perhaps I'd be more interested in trying something a little different.

Gotta admit it. She piqued my interest.

She brings me to the back of the shop and tells me not be mad because she wants to dress me as a witch. I immediately think of warts, hags and green or aged skin. I'm not mad so much as I am disappointed. I'd sill like to look cute, if I can. She tell me I will. Then she pulls out the costume.

My mouth dropped. It was gorgeous.

It was this royal purple one shouldered dress. It went all the way down to the floor. It was nipped at the waist by a long thin golden strap which wrapped and criss-crossd over the torso area.

"And it's got a crown." She says smugly.

She is definitely a closer, that one.

I was sold even before I tried it on. When I did, it felt like a silky dream. The fabric draped over my body in all the right places without looking frumpy or sleazy. I stood there, staring at myself in the mirror. I was a bit flabbergasted. Chihiro, the salesladay, joined me once I was done dressing. She nodded approvingly and said cheekily

"See? Some of us know still know what the definition of sexy really is."

Then she told me that this was the one and my search for a costume should end here. I didn't say anything, but I was in complete and utter agreement.

I started to walk over to her. But I stopped because, from the way the dress was cut, I didn't realize that there were slits on both sides of the dress. She said she could make the slits higher up if I wanted; but if I said no. Shoot! They were already half-way up my thigh!

And as you know DJ. I am nothing if not the personification of subtlety.

Afterwards, she saw me to the cashier. I thanked her for the costume but I was confused. I asked her what her definition of a witch was. Not that I was complaining, of course. She told me she was reading this book about sailors trying to find their way back to their home, Ithaca, after being prisoners of war for 8 years. Anyway, during their misadventures, they come across this witch. She is not someone to mess with but the sailors didn't remember this when they tried to trick her. And, of course, she turns them promptly into pigs.

Yah DJ. Sounds like a fantastic read to me too. Instant classic.

Chihiro's description of the witch was "Beautiful, terrible, clever, cruel and exceedingly vengeful...and perhaps, with just a tiny jealous streak."

And oh yeah. Never mind that description or the crown. The witch ruled an island! Yeah DJ. That's the definition of badass, if I've ever heard one.

Anyway, Chihiro said that she was inspired by the witch character and decided to make a costume in "homage" of her. For a moment, I was taken aback. Then I got over the surprise, and felt honoured that she thought that I would be perfect for this design. Maybe Madam Bling's recommendations aren't so cra...eccentric after all.

We were chatting happily as we made our way to the cashier, but she had to excuse herself to attend to another customer. I feeling pretty good when I approached the the cash and I was smiling. Wouldn't you know? The cashier started flirting with me!

This is not because I am some femme fatale extraordinaire or anything (...well -smirk- at least not during the day anyway), I think he just wanted to add a few more items to my bill.

Always thinking about that commission, ne, Kenta?

This is not to say that I minded or that I didn't flirt back, of course. He was really cute. And besides, flirting is fun, harmless and had nothing to do with the fact that Shithead was watching us a little ways away.

Listen, I was trying to get a discount. You can't blame a girl for trying, right?

Shit came over during our little chat to say 'hello'. Kenta finished ringing me up and had to excuse himself, as well, to help yet another customer. So Shit drops the pretense.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but it won't work. If you're mad at me for talking to those girls..."

"You can talk to whoever you want to, Shit-san." I said indifferently. "And I don't know how many times I have to say this; but I'm not mad at you."

Shit snorted. "So what was Komoru's assessment from last week?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He wanted to say more but the girls were calling him back. They were giggling obnoxiously. He looked over at them before he sighed and said

"Come on, T..."

I cut him off. "You don't want to keep those _ladies_ waiting, do you?" I nodded in their direction.

I could tell he was getting mad...frustrated, who knows? Then he seemed to disengage suddenly and became calmer. He was about to say something but I cut him off again.

"I know, I know. What a drag...pain. Troublesome. Whatever. Could you do me a favour? If you're going to be so cliche, then would you go share that witty commentary of yours over there? I'm sure _those_ girls will find you brilliantly amusing."

He stared at me for a moment longer then ground out:

"Fine!"

"Good." I said evenly.

"_Great._"

He turned around and started to walk back towards those girls. But I couldn't help saying:

"By the way, Cassanova." He looked at me over his shoulder but kept walking. "Just a friendly reminder. Don't let those girls fool you. Remember: a ladies man appreciates quality. Anything less..." I glance over at the girls "...makes you a man whore."

He turned his head away from me and stopped walking. His posture stiffened significantly. Then he exhaled deeply and then continued on his way.

Childish. I know, DJ, I know. But friendly reminders never hurt anyone.

In other news, I got a letter from Gigi. He congratulated me on starting the Academy project. Apparently Lady-sama sent him a note all about it. Yeah. Every detail. He said it was a brilliant idea but, for some reason, it sounded eerily familiar to him.

Well, of course it would. I told him about the idea over a month ago.

According to her letter, Lady-sama gushed over 'Shithead's' idea. Gigi told me that as Kazekage, he was impressed with the idea and generally agreed with Lady-sama. However, as my brother, he asked if I would like him to "rough him up a bit". Besides, "Sparring is all in good fun and I can make it look like an accident."

DJ, did I ever tell you how much I love my baby brother?

....

He was kidding, DJ. SHEESH! Like a Kazekage would do something like that.

...

Well, at least, they wouldn't seriously put it down in writing ....would they?

Stop over analyzing, T! Right. It was a joke.

Anyway, he then gently suggested that I need to take more initiative and never let anyone take my ideas, no matter how cute he is.

Yeah DJ. I know. He was basically telling me it was my own fault for letting it happen in a nice way.

......

i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers i love my brothers

Are you convinced yet, DJ?

....meh. me too.

Anyway, the reason why I brought the letter up is because I was reading it on my way down the the market earlier today. I was looking for a few extra knickknacks for my costume and ended up back at Chihiro's store. Thankfully enough, she was also in that day as well. She said that Kirke, the witch I was dressing up as, always surrounded herself by various animals. And she suggested that I add a stuffed animal to complete my costume. I was about to tell her no when I noticed Stag approaching the cashier. See? what I mean about stalking?

He was with one of the same girls from the day before. It looks like there's going to be one more "Destiny" the pole dancer...excuse me, "Sexy Fairy" at the Masquerade Ball.

I tried to keep my I rolling to a minimum.

Anyway, when Shithead and Destiny (no DJ. I refuse to know what her name is) interrupted our conversation came to the cash, I completely ignored them and asked Chihiro if they sold any deer stuffed animals. She noticed Shithead turned his head cautiously when I said this. She understood (incorrectly) and said slyly:

"As a matter of fact, we do." And she presented a sweet looking deer that even had cute little antlers. It was just what I was looking for. I smiled and motioned her to hand it to me.

She gave it to me and I asked her a pair of scissors. I motioned to the tag. She and Shit were smiling shyly when she gave it to me. I smiled back pleasanly when I look at Shit and cut off the animal antlers. They bounced softly onto the counter.

"NOW, it's perfect. I'll take it."

Chihiro looked shocked but didn't say anything. She just rang me in with a strange look on her face. Shit, on the other hand, wasn't smiling anymore. Which as odd because my smile had gotten even bigger.

For some reason, I looked at him at that moment. This would have been the first time I've done so in about 2 weeks 3 days and 17 hours. But who's counting? I noticed that it was my turn to give his words back to him. I cocked my head to one side and said:

"Shit, you shouldn't grind your teeth like that."

And went on my merry little way, feeling light and humming to myself, as I exited the store.

Now that my costume is complete. I'm thinking of fixing the antlers and sewing them back up. Right DJ? I mean I don't want the stuffing to fall out of them when I wear them around my neck like pendants.

That's hot, right, DJ?

Now that's off my to-do list and with the leaps and bounds I've made at work, I am chillin like a villian (as the kids say). I'm just going to relax till the party.

I can't wait for it.

...

Nothing but lazy days ahead.

Yup.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	15. Where the Wild things are 5am Remix

**Chapter Title**: Where the Wild things are (5am Remix)

**Word Count**: 215

**A/N**: About the previous chapter....

My bad. It wasn't as smooth as I thought it was going to be. I practically had to hold my muse at gunpoint and then grovel like all get out just to get it like that. I don't know what else to say about that. ;_;

I'm sorry for the following chapter. It had to be done. Don't worry. You guys are in for a double whammy this week. so I guess...horray??

....

-runs away before y'all start throwing things at me-

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ....

I don't know where to....

Still a bit drunk. Can't sleep properly.

I don't know how to....

The Masquerade Ball.

....

Wolf was my escort. He dressed up like a business man. Even wore a tie. Very refined.

Dressed Fang like a cat. Very funny.

....

Place was beautifully decorated.

Didn't have to do speech.

There was a live band.

He kissed me.

Everyone was there.

He kissed me.

Everyone wanted to drink with me.

He kissed me.

Everyone wanted a dance.

He kissed me.

Was having a great time.

He kissed me.

Don't know if it was an accident.

...well. maybe I do.

Stag saw us.

I didn't want it to happen like this.

He...

So much more to this.

Light hurting my eyes.

Hangover starting.

Going back to bed.

Goodnight...

I mean, Good morning DJ,

T

This is a **_FUCKING_** disaster.


	16. Deadlier if you mean it

**Chapter Title**: Deadlier if you mean it

**Word Count**: 3349

**A/N**: This was a long one. And I hope it fits the bill. I'm still undecided about this chapter. There are some parts that are...i dunno.

One more thing. Let's get something straight. I DO NOT condone underage drinking, but I have no problem with any of the 'Rookie Nine' downing whole bottles of vodka, at 13, if they wanted. Meaning that if youare under the legal drinking age AND have been assigned by your **_government_** to kill and have seen people killed in your presence, by a spy, put your life on the line for others AND you have the ability to manipulate your chakra into a _TANGIBLE_ entity, then I will help you write a petition to let you get your drink on. Outside those stipulations, USE YOUR COMMON SENSE. If you need help with your decision, please read below.

[/rant]

Normally I would have Shika & crew come over and say something. But all of them are nursing their hangovers right now. So they're a little (putting it mildly) crusty. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go make runny eggs and greasy bacon for they're breakfast. Isn't that sweet of me? Yeah. I know. ;D

Dammit! Has anyone seen my megaphone?

Shoot

-toddles off-

Whoops! last one:

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

Now that I've had a chance to mull this over, (It's still a disaster) I'm going to tell you everything. As stated before, I'm giving you full disclosure. Yup. The ugly, undiluted, unadulterated truth.

Much like a punch in the teeth.

Even though my hangover is gone, I still feel like ass.

I don't know if this is racist but do all Fire Country citizens drink like fishes? Must be because it's so hot here. Makes everyone dehydrated.

What DJ? Am I stalling? Sorry, but it was shitty enough going through it once.

Alright. Enough messing around.

As you know, the Masquerade Ball was last week. After the last of the Academy meetings and reviews of curriculum and lesson plans I finished off the week with a flourish. Wolf was a great guide and insisted on being my escort to the Masquerade Ball that Saturday.

So Wolf and Fang picked me up from the inn. When I opened the door, Wolf had his hair neatly combed, suit spotlessly pressed. He had this expression on his face with a grin that can only be described as dead sexy...excuse me, mischievous. He offered his arm and greeting me by saying:

"Milady."

I smiled back at him, took his arm and said: "Good Evening, gentle sir."

We made our way over to Madam Bling's without incident. But I did get a good laugh when I saw Fang's costume. Wolf had the ingenious idea of drawing a cat's face on a brown paper bag and making Fang wear it as a mask. Fang was less than impressed. I, on the other hand, had a hard time forcing down the giggling.

We arrived at Bling's. We both had to remember to keep our mouths closed. The place was huge and the decorations were... stunning. I know I previously said that the decorations were beautiful. But keep in mind that I was completely blitzed when I wrote that.

DJ let me ask you a question. How much money does it take for something to go from being tacky to being campy?

Yeah. Well, double whatever that amount is and that's what the decorations were in spades.

Anyway, we were immediately accosted by Madam Bling. Then she swept me away so she could (re)introduce me to this Duke and that Earl. Some of them were gentlemen. However, the fact that their 'wives' were at least half their age and mysteriously missing their wedding rings, made me doubt they were perfect gentlemen.

Yeah. You're right DJ. The wedding bands would have ruined the look of their costumes -rolling eyes-

I was able to meet up with Wolf a little while later and he introduced me to the rest of his old Squad: Shades, Violet and Ringz.

Shades was nice enough. But he didn't talk much. There's something about him I can't put my finger on. Let's just say that I'm happy he's on our side and I wouldn't want to run into him down any dark alleyways.

Violet... hmmm. What can I say about Violet? She was really sweet even though she was dressed up like a Fairy. No, I'm not talking about costumes made up of not enough cloth and too much body glitter. I'm talking about an honest-to-goodness, sweet and innocent fairy. Violet made some adjustments to her costume so that it deviated from the sleazalicious norm. She sincerely looked angelic. And after I spoke to her for a few moments, I knew it suited her personality perfectly.

Is it odd that I would have liked to have seen her in the "Sexy" version? I dunno. I just think that if you're going to a costume party, why dress like yourself? This is a chance for the wallflowers to make the boys drool. A chance to escape reality and to not be you for a second. Why not enjoy the difference a costume makes?

Shut up DJ! My name is not Pot and there is no kettle on 'Line One' waiting to tell me I'm any colour.

...

Well, you may have a point because from the way Wolf was looking at her (when he thought no one was watching), Violet could have been wearing a garbage bag and she still would have rocked his world. The look on his face, DJ, you could tell that Madam Bling wasn't the only one with big plans that night.

But more on that later.

Rings was a nice lady. If she wasn't so aware of her self-proclaimed lack of it, I think she's got the M-factor in spades. Although I can barely remember my own, I can recognize 'Mom' tendencies when I see it. I think it's time for hubby to step it up and get cracking on it (if he hasn't already).

Now, the reason I know she's married (aside from the wedding ring) is because her hubby, Elite Guardian, was standing besides her chatting happily to one of his own old squad members.

You already know where this is heading, don't you DJ?

Elite paused his conversation with Shitface and said hello. We exchanged pleasantries and then had to excuse himself to tend to his wife, leaving me to force my rage at a minimum standing next to the idiot.

"...." He just stood there staring and evaluating me just as I was with him.

He was barely in a costume. He was wearing his normal Shinobi wear and had a stethoscope hanging around his neck.

"So what are you suppose to be?" I suppose his stab at civility could have been counted for maturity. But I had already been fooled once.

"A witch. What are you suppose to be? An asshole? Excellently executed."

"God, you're acting like such a bitch." He mumbled under his breath.

"What did you say to me?" Here we go.

Elite came back to us, all smiles. "Sorry for interrupting, you two. But before you won't be able to squeeze me in, would I be able to have this dance?"

I said yes. For some reason, I was feeling highly aggravated and I needed go somewhere and get my head on properly again. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn that Elite was trying to save Shithead from epic disaster. I have a feeling that he does that lot for him.

Anyway, Elite was an elegant dancer. He was extremely gracious, but he lost me when he mentioned Stag.

"You know, he's not all that bad."

I went stiff. I knew what he was talking about and I was tired of denying the truth. "Yes. Well, you would have to say that. He idolizes you."

"He does?" It was almost cute the way his cheeks flushed with that surprised look on his face. I smiled, genuinely, this time.

"Yes he does. But that is neither here nor there. With all due respect, Elite, this is something between Stag and I. You won't be able to convince me otherwise."

"..." He looked down at me for a moment, studying me. Then he broke into a sheepish grin. "You really are determined to hate him, aren't you?"

"I don't hate him. I have absolutely no feelings when it comes to him. I just..."

His smirk got bigger. "No feelings?" He said disbelievingly. "I don't know. Why would you go out of your way hurl insults at someone and hurt them when you are completely disinterested in them? Besides, you don't know the whole story."

Hmph. Sounds like someone's an eavesdropper.

"Yes. Of course. I have no feelings for him, just as, I assumed, he has none for me. I never realized that he was so sensitive...."

I didn't hear what else Elite had to say because the dance had ended. I was able to thank him for the dance when I noticed that he was looking off in the distance with this slight frown on his face and shaking his head. I turned to what he was staring at.

Front and centre, I see that shitheaded-retard and some random vampire-girl. She looked like, to be fair, a hooched-out drag queen with fangs and **WAY** too much glitter. In my completely unbiased opinion, of course. Stag didn't see us. He was occupied, determinedly trying to find out what perfume she was wearing behind her right ear. She was laughing like a hyena. I turned to Elite again.

"He's hurt? Looks like he's rallied. Hooray for him." And I walked off before he could come up with some lame excuse for the idiot.

Is it a sign when I nearly walk into a waiter? Is it an even bigger sign when he offers me one of the flutes of champagne he's carrying?

I didn't think so either. But you have to agree DJ. The timing couldn't have been better.

From there, the evening was nothing but dancing with this Duke and having a celebratory drink with that Earl. It was a whirlwind of light, champagne glasses, and making sure hands weren't invading my personal space. Needless to say, I was having good time (grabby hands aside) and was well on my way to drunk by the time I caught a glimpse of Wolf again.

I was dancing with one of the councillors, and noticed Wolf talking to Violet. I couldn't hear what they were saying but by the time the dance ended, Violet looked upset and had walked away. Wolf looked upset too, then angry. Then he walked away in the opposite direction outside towards the gardens. In my alcohol-laden mind, I thought that I should go and see if I could help. I mean a frie... a guide in need and all that nonsense.

Once I found him I approached him sympathetically, albeit cautiously. He looked really angry when he walked away.

"Hey..."

"T..." He looked a little surprised. He hadn't stepped outside, but he was by the door looking over at the gardens. "What do you need? A drink? A dance?"

I smiled at him. "No, No. I just came over to see how you were doing. I haven't been that good of a date tonight."

"Oh." he seemed to deflate a bit. "I'm ok..."

"Mmm..." Another waiter passed with more drinks. I scooped two up before he could get away and handed one to Wolf, nearly tripping my own feet. "I can see that. Want to drown your sorrows?"

"Watch out. Thank you. I'm sorry what was that?" Was I speaking Alien? I was about to repeat myself when he put his hand on my waist.

"I think you've had enough of that." He was looking at my flute of champagne.

"What are you talking about? Pfft. I'm fine!"

Did you know that champagne is really lovely? Mmm. me too.

"Sure you are." Wolf said gently taking the flute out of my hand.

But, somehow, he tightened his grip around me. Good thing too. My feet seemed to have developed a mind of their own. I think they were trying to find where my knees and equilibrium went to.

Must have left them on the tray with the last waiter. Damn gravity.

Unsurprisingly, his arms around me were doing a spectacular job of keeping me upright. He managed to drain both flutes as well. A feat, that even in my sober state, still astonishes me. He left the flutes on a nearby table and rested his forehead against mine.

"I always pictured this going a bit differently." He sighed.

I instantly thought of Violet and my sense of purpose was renewed.

"You know sometimes life doesn't always go as planned. But we just have to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and move on."

This is what I thought I said. But my drunkenness understood this that as: "I hear ya. But don't be down. Turn that frown upside down! This is a party! We would be living it up." And I ran my hands through his hair to mess it up.

"Besides, you're taking your costume way too seriously. Lighten up. Walk on the wild side." My hands slide down his neck to loosen his tie.

"You should just forget all about her. You're passionate, intelligent, a good friend & pretty hot. If she can't see that then maybe..."

And that's when I realized that no matter how sweet it is, how the fizziness tickles my sense, alcohol is the devil because that's when he kissed me.

I don't know why he decided to kiss me at that moment. Maybe it was because it was a way to shut me up. Maybe he was frustrated. Maybe he was angry. Maybe he was trying to find solace at being second place. I don't know. But he kissed me.

When we broke apart, he seemed to be as shocked as I was. Both of us stepped back. He stared at me for a moment longer about something but though better of it and left me standing there like a surprised statue. My equilibrium found its way back to me. But for one reason or another, I suddenly needed to get some air. So I walked out to the terrace. I was standing there looking out over the gardens when I heard:

"You look like you're enjoying yourself."

I spun around (which wasn't such a good idea as I nearly lost my lunch). It was Stag. He was holding a drink that didn't look like champagne. It was in a shorter glass on the rocks with this amber looking liquid inside. But I was distracted from how pretty his drink was by 2 things:

One: He was alone.

Two: The expression on his face. Was it anger? Disappointment? Resentment? Disgust? Sadness? All of the above? I don't know. All I know is that it took my breath away.

I realized something at that moment. I was tired. I was tired of the fighting, tired of the insults, tired of trying to stay mad at him. Tired of playing games.

"Where's your _friend_?"

Well, maybe not that tired. Hey, DJ. A kunoichi has her pride, you know.

"Around."

"Well shouldn't you go look for her? She might be confused with concepts like opening doors or something complex like putting the left shoe on the correct foot..."

"Enough." In a matter of a heartbeat, he was in my space pinning me against the terrace railing. "Enough. Stop the bullshit."

"You really need to give me my space."

"With the way you've been acting tonight, this should be normal to you." He growled.

"I'm tired of trying to make you listen to me. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of all this shit and..." He shook the bar of the railing so hard; I thought it was going to come out of the ground. "...your games. I'm tired of you."

Normally I would have given him an earful, but I remained stock still and silent. The look on his face... I was.... uneasy and sobering up fast.

"What's the matter? You have no problem with other people in your space." I couldn't see his eyes because of the darkness and his voice was barely above a whisper but Ok DJ. I'll admit it. He was seriously starting to scare me. I could smell the liquor on his breath.

"Leave me alone."

"Why? Are you going to up the ante and spread your legs for the next guy who's NOT interested in you?"

I slapped him hard across his face. This was it. It's over before it even began.

His cheek was red. I refused to cry. When had everything gone so horribly, horribly wrong? The light and laughter from the party seem to give the whole scene a surreal quality. I prayed that I was going to wake up from this nightmare at any moment.

"I hate you." I whispered.

"Tch. Right back at you."

And then he kissed me too.

He tasted overwhelming like hard liquor and something I couldn't identify. At the time, all I could think of was:

**_No! Not like this!_**

**_You were supposed to be...._**

**_My ideal is not supposed to be like this!_**

**_Stag. NO! Why are you doing this?!_**

I pushed him away. The way he looked at me. It made me feel like even after all this time and everything that's happened between us, that I still didn't measure up.

We both stood there staring at each other, a little breathless. Then he turned away and started walking back towards the party. Even though I didn't say it out loud, I realized that I was tired too.

"What do you want from me Stag?"

He looked over her shoulder glared incredulously at me. Even though he was a good two feet away from me, I could still feel him in my space. The faint scent of cigarettes and cognac hung around me like a noose.

His eyes were so cold.

"Absolutely nothing, _Madam Ambassador_." And that was the second time I was kissed by a drunken shinobi and left standing like a statue. But this time, DJ, it was a million times worse.

After a few moments of mentally pulling myself out of the abyss that has become my life, Madam Bling popped out of nowhere. I think she wanted me to get in front of everyone and say a few words. But one look at my face and she wisely decided against it. She walked me back inside and immediately left to go chastise some of the wait staff.

The party was in full swing. Laughing, happy people. Chinking glasses, vapid smiling and all that other bullshit that made me feel distinctly out of place and wanting to hurl. I had to leave.

I sought out Wolf who, surprisingly, didn't go screaming in the opposite direction when he saw me. I thanked him for being my date, told him I was leaving and not to worry about bringing me home. He seemed almost relieved when he made a weak attempt at arguing with me. But in the end, he gave in. I think he wanted this night to be over and to be alone just as much as I did. But he caught my wrist as I turned away to leave.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier....we were both really drunk...this isn't how we wanted your last night in the Leaf....It's just that she....I didn't mean it...."

"Yeah." I really felt like bawling "I know."

And when I got back to my room, that's exactly what I did.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	17. The 'Not' Goodbye

**Chapter Title**: The 'Not' Goodbye

**Word Count**: 2595

**A/N**: Ok. A couple of things I have to apologize for guys. D:

one: I'M SORRY!!!! I'm so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. My explanation has something to do with a crazy Christmas, New Year's, Work, and fam. It was one hot mess. Please forgive. *begs*

two: Although I have addressed a few outstanding questions (I think) about where Kiba and Shika's heads were at in the last chapter, I'm not really feeling the chapter entirely. ...whatever. make of it what you will.

I....

"Are you kidding me with this?" -points at t-shirt-

"What? you like? I have one for every day of the week."

"Summer. 'Team Temari'? Seriously?!"

-shrug- "Of course Shika. If I was her shoes, I would and you said that nonsense to me..."

"What could you do with a pen exactly? Mark my shirt?"

"I dunno. Why don't I try sticking that in one of your orifices? See how harmless it is then."

"I will not let you get anywhere near my mouth."

"That's nice. I wasn't talking about any orifice on that pineapple head of yours." -raises eyebrows evilly-

...

"I said shut up!" -runs away-

Anyway, guys as usual R&R, and if possible, enjoy. :B

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

There are still a few things that need to be mentioned about the last time I wrote you. Well, let me start from the time I woke up the following morning. Uh. Let me correct that. From the time I got up the following morning.

Obviously, with everything that happened that night, I passed out after. well. you know what happened when I got back to the room. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get anymore than an hour worth of dreamless, uninterrupted sleep. I wasn't able to sleep once I slept off the drunkenness and the worst of the hangover. Sleep was elusive at best. And after staring at the ceiling for several hours, I gave up and started getting ready for my return trip home.

It was nearly daybreak by the time I finished packing. I decided to get a bit of training done before I got breakfast. Nothing like a hard workout after a night of nearly no sleep and right before a three day trip.

Hey! You can't blame me. I was trying to clear out my hyperactive mind running a mile a minute. Is it my fault my body was exhausted?

…

Shut up DJ.

Anyway, I approached the forest looking for a good training spot when I ran into someone. No, it wasn't him. It was Wolf. Apparently, he was tired of staring at his ceiling too. We didn't say much but we somehow managed to agree to a sparring match without words. After going at it for a while, he finally decided to say something out loud.

"T, I'm really sorry about last night…"

I felt defeated and didn't really want to relive the previous night's events. "You don't need to apologize, Wolf. You've explained it already."

"It's just that I was so frustrated and she was so... And then you were there. All soft and saying all those things... and I just downed all that alcohol...I just..."

I smiled sympathetically. DJ, I know shinobi who can mold raw metal like it was rubber or bend the elements with a crook of a finger. But ask any of them about their feelings and it's like asking a fire element shinobi to get water tortured.

"I know." We had stopped sparring entirely. I nodded my head towards the pathway towards the lake. He fell in step as we made our way down there.

"No. You don't. I'm not a guy that thinks ahead a lot. I fly by the seat of my pants most of the time. But last night, I planned everything. When it didn't go how I saw it… she was supposed to…"

"What happened between the two of you?"

Wolf said nothing. We had arrived at the lake. It was peaceful there. He was staring across the calm waters.

"You don't have to say anything. I didn't mean to pry…"

"She looked beautiful, didn't she? I had the big plans to tell her how I felt about her, y'know? We were going to have a great time last night. I was going to make this big play for her under the stars… It just didn't work out like that. She said that she's… that she… doesn't see me like that… "

I felt really bad for him. But I had a feeling that she didn't return his feelings. After speaking with her and the things I've heard about her, I think it would be obvious to anyone that she's in love with someone that isn't even here anymore. I think it was because he was pinning all his hopes on this Hail Kami-sama pass. Unrequited love always sucks. I didn't know what to tell him without further hurting his feelings. So I tried a different tactic.

"You know, even though I was a little lit at the time, I meant what I said. You really are a good guy."

He looked at me for a moment. I think he realized what I was trying to tell him because he tried to smile and said

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Have you talked to her since?" I realized that he hadn't mentioned her name once. I could completely understand.

"Nah. After yesterday, I have a feeling that she won't want to see me for a while."

I nodded. I had a feeling that he wasn't going to try again so soon after being burnt once already. He shook his head as if to clear it.

"So…aside from that hiccup, did you have fun last night?" His attempt to lighten the mood, I suppose.

"I…" I couldn't talk about it. It almost made me wish that I was one of those people that blacked out when they were drunk.

"Oh. I see. So things didn't exactly go as planned for you either, huh?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

"Do you think that it'll ever ….?" He seemed lost for words but I understood what he was trying to say.

"I dunno."

We both stopped talking at that point to stare at the lake. It really dazzled in the morning sunlight. So peaceful, yet bustling with life y'know? See why I came out here to get some perspective when I first came here? It seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago.

Fang broke the tranquility at that moment by jumping in the lake. He was chasing something. Goodness knows what it was. But it made me smile anyway. You know what, DJ? He really still looks like a puppy sometimes. Especially at that moment. It made me wish for simpler times. Something that I haven't had since way before Gigi was even born. I barely remember it. I sighed.

"I have to head back. I gotta finish getting ready."

"Alright. I think I'm gonna hang here a little while longer. You're leaving by noon, right?"

I said yes and he told me, he'd see me off. He said that he "…just need to be here right now, y'know?"

I nodded and said my goodbye to him. I was able to find my way back out of the forest without issue.

I was on my way back to the inn, when guess who I ran into?

No DJ. It wasn't him.

I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, to be honest, and walked directly into his chest.

"Omph!"

"Whoa." An arm grabbed my elbow to keep me from falling on my backside. "Hey."

I looked up and saw Wings staring at me concernedly.

"Oh. Hey. Sorry. I didn't see where…"

He nodded. "You okay?"

DJ, is it just me or did you get the feeling that he wasn't talking about my aimless walking either?

…

Yeah.

"I'm fine. Like Teflon. See? Not even a scratch." I raised my arms for him to see. My smile used muscles that felt like they haven't been in use for a millennium.

He looked at me for a moment. I know he was about to call me out on my bullshit but decided on something different.

"Walk with me for a minute?" He, like a gentleman, held out his arm.

"…Sure." And let him take the lead.

I was sure this would be where he would launch into an impassioned speech that would explain his best friend's behaviour. Hey! Someone's gotta be the wingman. Why not a guy named Wings?

But he didn't. We just walked around silently not really looking at anything, not really going anywhere. It was nice. The fact that he was his best friend forced my mind to near spontaneous combustion. But the vibe he gave off was calming and steady. Solid. I can see why Stag sees as a good friend.

When we happened upon a onigiri stand, he asked if I wanted any breakfast. I wasn't all that hungry but what was waiting for me at the inn? I said yes.

Over tea, we talked about random things I won't bore you with like the weather and how Momo ended up clearing the dance floor after he started a Conga line with a lampshade on his head, completely inebriated.

Those uppity Fire folk sure know who to party. And did you notice it too DJ? Looks like shinobi aren't the only ones who can't handle their liquor. It was a pretty funny story. But after Wings wiped away the tears and the laughter died down, he paused studying me. Then he asked me again:

"Hey. Really. Are you ok?"

I sobered up as well. The memory of the swaying lamp tassles faded from my mind along with my smile. I shrugged. I looked him straight in the eye and said

"So, I guess he's talked to you about it."

He didn't say anything at first. But if that grimace on his face was any indication, I had a feeling Stag didn't shut up about it. That's when I noticed the dark circles under Wings' eyes. It was his turn to shrug.

"He may have mentioned it in passing." he mumbled.

"Despite everything that's happened, you have to know, he really is a good guy, T. He was just..."

Just what exactly? A nice guy in an asshole disguise that night?

"Frustrated, angry and..."

"Drunk." I added helpfully.

Wings winced. "I told him to go easy on the hard stuff. But once he saw you stagger over to Wolf right before you guys... it just fell on deaf ears."

"Yeah... I kinda guessed."

"if he wasn't still dry-heaving right now, I would have told him to tell you all this himself."

"Yeah." I couldn't look Wings in the eye. "Thanks."

"Come on." He was finished his meal and I had nothing left in my tea but the dregs. "I'll walk you back."

We were nearly to the inn when I couldn't take it anymore.

"This is really bad..."

Wings stopped walking and looked at me.

"No, T. I promise you'll look back on this and realize it was never really as bad as you thought."

Was this straight from 'The Wingman's guide to Damage Control'? I think someone needs to sue the author.

"Yeah? Is he gonna see me off later?"

"Oh look! We're already here." I have two words for you, Wingman: RE. FUND.

I just stared at him waiting for him to answer and caught his eye.

He didn't say anything. But, again, with the grimacing.

"He's not exactly at 100% I think he's more concerned with making sure he doesn't vomit on his toes."

"My sympathies." So I guess Wolf & I were just drinking orange juice that night.

We said our goodbyes. I got back into my room and I was able to take a quick shower and do one last sweep of the room. Can't leave anything important around like one of K's jock straps under the couch.

Yes. I did find one there. Yes. I had no words for it either.

Anyway, my send off ws nothing spectacular and nothing i'm going to bore you with. True to Wing's word, Stag was conspicuously absent from the lineup at the gates. But as I was leaving the forest, I thought I saw a pair of antlers glide along in the patchwork of greenery beside me.

My heart did not perk up with hope when I cautiously made my way over to it.

It was only a stag. No DJ. I mean the real stag. It was foraging.

-exhale-

I stayed as quiet as I could but the stag seemed to sense me and froze starting at the bushes I was hiding behind. I came out slowly. Standing a ways away to allow him to get comfortable. After staring at me for a moment longer, he lowered his head and began foraging again.

I looked around.

"Looks like it's just you and me."

He glanced at me before going back to eating. I realized didn't it, but he was getting closer. I went back to being still. I didn't want to frighten him.

Apparently, I was doing a great job because the stag was so close I could feel it's warm breath on my arm. It was kind of alarming. I thought it was amazing when he sniffed me & immediately went for my pocket. My hand hurriedly fished out whatever was in there.

I snorted when I felt it. _Oh. Of course._

I pulled out the pawn piece & presented it to the stag. Seeing it there made me remember the last time we had played; when things were good and he still had plans...

It sniffed it. Came even closer, the licked it as well as my hand.

Yeah DJ. I was a little skeeved out by it. But I got over it. I slowly reached up to stroke his nose. The stag seemed to relax and he stilled.

"If only all boys were this easy."

I don't know if the deer understood but he snorted.

"Exactly." I sighed, took some string from my pouch and gently tied the pawn piece around his neck.

"I know you won't be able to tell him yourself. But he'll see he won when he sees this."

The stag stood there for a moment before viciously shaking his head like a dog would they shake water off their bodies. The pawn piece fell to the ground.

"Hn. How appropriate."

The stag walked away at that point. When I tried approach him again, he ran away.

Ah. Now this is familiar. It's all coming back to me now.

I gave up at that point because I had spent enough time on hopeless causes and I really needed to make some headway before nightfall. I left the piece on the ground. What was the point? Having that around would just make me feel... And rule #25 states a shinobi must never show his tears. Besides, emotions are necessary things sometimes.

...

Anyway, now it's really REALLY late. And the fire is going to nothing but ashes soon. I should take the hint.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	18. Getting clarity & a Headache

**Chapter Title**: Getting clarity & a headache

**Word Count**: 1950

**A/N**: Ok guys. Before you start throwing things at me, I must tell you a few things. I thought this was getting to ... angsty. And even though emo can be really good every once and a while, that's enough now. Time to get back to something to make y'all smile. I DO NOT MEAN FLUFF. If that were true, Shika would be in this chapter never mind roaming around in his boxers around here.

"What the hell is going on here?!"

"Oh hey Temari. I was just finishing up the next installment..."

"Yeah. I know. I was reading it over ur shoulder."

"Oh." -shrug- "so whaddya think?"

-purses lips & stares hard- "what do u think."

"... Look. I'm not crazy about it either but ..."

"So what in the name of Kami-sama are you doing?"

"Oh for goodness sake..."

"And you have no Shika-Tema smexiness for me?"

"...Well, no. At least just a couple more chapters but I promise..."

"MORE CHAPTERS?! And you're wearing a 'Team Temari' t-shirt too? You should hang your head in shame."

*does so*

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

I'm back in the Sand.

Got started on setting up a Shinobi School here. This is going to be a huge undertaking. I'm going to need some help... I mean underlings. I got K to be one of them. Not that I couldn't do it without his help, you understand. It's just what big sister would pass up the opportunity to boss her younger brother around?

Exactly.

I do admit though. It's not like I wasn't happy to see him when I got home. Both K and Gigi waited up to greet me when I came back. I was relieved to see them both in good health.

...

Please, DJ. I am a very compassionate, caring and loving older sister!

I even gave them souvenirs. I got Gigi a nice leather wristband. I gave K's souvenir almost as soon as I got back as well.

I pinned him down and made him wear that jock strap I found as a mask.

...

What? That's not loving?

Anyway, Gigi recieved a letter from Lady-sama. Apparently, She gave him a detailed report about the behaviour his Sand Ambassador leaving a _lasting_ impression on the last day of her stay.

Yeah. Me too.

I thought it was really ballsy for that drunk to berate me on it while extolling the virtues of moderation.

Like I didn't feel shitty enough about it already.

Mind...

She may OR MAY NOT have a point. But come on.

Gigi, unfortunately, didn't see it like that.

I got an earful from him about conduct unbecoming a Sand dignitary. I thought it was rich getting a lecture from my baby brother on "excerising restraint". Up until a few years (hell, not that many months) ago, Gigi didn't know the meaning of the word 'restraint' or 'no' for that matter.

Nonetheless, I'm still a little apprehensive on making him mad, so I took it without comment or explanation. Every woman is entitled to her secrets, after all. He picked up that I might be a little upset (finally), and he told me that he felt he had to do it as Kazekage. He would have done it with any other shinobi.

I pursed my lips then nodded and stared him hard in the face.

"I know Gigi. And with you in those nostalgic robes acting like this...all Kazekage-like... if you're not careful you might turn into our father."

I know DJ. I know. It was a low blow. I mean it's not his fault he's still a little socially retarded... uh I mean, awkward. He's trying, at least. That's why I said that with the voice inside my head.

I asked if he was finished even though I knew he was sizing me up again. However, a councillor rushed in demanding retribution for something or other and so he had to dismiss me.

I caught his eye on my way out the door. The look on his face told me that if it was any consolation I wasn't the only one to catch shit that day. It didn't make me feel any better. He shouldn't have to take nonsense for suspicious, angry assholes who don't believe that he's trying to make an effort...

Sorry DJ. A rant for another time.

Anyway, I saw K outside Gigi's office. So I _persuaded_ him to train with me.

The fact that he ended up a little beat up before we got to the training area is besides the point.

After going at it for a while, I had to grudgingly admit, he's improved.

He asked me what my problem was as I was a little more... enthusastic than usual. I ignored him, of course, and was about to summon Kamatari when he got one of his puppets to stop me from making the necessary hand signs.

"Whoa! Kamatari?! Are you serious?!" He shouted indignantly as he made his way over.

"Yeah. What? I haven't used him in a while. He might need the excerise..."

"T!" He said forcefully. "The last time you've used Kamatari when we were sparring, Gigi decimated the locket mom gave you for looking at his gourd the wrong way. And I know I haven't done anything... lately." he finished off under his breath.

"Nothing's wrong..."

"T! You've been acting like this ever since you came back. Stop Bullshitting!"

That's one of the only times he's used that tone of voice with me.

No, DJ. I wasn't slightly intimidated. I just thought that if he was so curious, then I'd give him what he wanted to know so badly. I told him everything from the very beginning.

"Wait a minute! That's why you wore the 'naked' sweater that night? You went on a date?"

DJ, I'd like to meet my brother, Interruptus Majorus.

"'Naked'? What are you talking about? Except for my head, neck and hands, that sweater covered everything else!"

"T. That sweater is the exact colour of your skin. You look naked when you were that top!"

And that concludes one of the most uncomfortable moments we've shared.

After, we pretended like that part of the conversation never happened, I was able to get out the rest of it.

At first, K wasn't impressed with Stag. I had a feeling that the he may have liked to have been next in line to spar him after Gigi.

But then he asked me what Stag had to say for himself.

Yeah DJ. I was shocked too. When had my brother ever become anything more than comedic relief compared to the insightful perspective he had at that moment?

"..." I was at a loss for words.

"You didn't talk to him." He was unsurprised.

"Lemme guess. You didn't give him a chance to explain, inappropriately spazzed out on random, innocent bystanders & then acted like a complete and utter cu..."

I realized what he was about to say. I looked at him sharply and warned "Watch it."

"...cut-off, passive-aggressive time bomb."

"Nice save." I nearly smiled, rolling my eyes.

"I think so." He nodded smugly. "But look T. Granted, Stag hasn't exactly 'pinned the tail on the donkey' in every situation..."

Oh! Hold on K! I think we have a winner. Here's your award for the understatement of the century. Congrats.

"But there's always two sides to every story."

"You're MY brother. Aren't you suppose to be indignant..."

"No one's doubting that he's a butthead, obviously. It's just, T. You have this tendency to shut down and lock people out... WHAT THE...?!"

He was a little shocked by the kunai I held to his throat.

"Who are you and what have you done to my brother?"

"T!" He slapped the kunai away. "You know Gigi's working through his anger management thing. When he first started, there was this workshop and he wouldn't go unless I went with him...."

"..."

"What!? It's not like I paid for the instructor's book!"

I couldn't believe it. Gems like this don't come around around a lot. I almost smiled.

"It was given as a free gift when you guys signed up for it, wasn't it?"

"There's some really good advice when you get over the..."

I looked at him skeptically. "You're not going to hug a tree, are you?"

He looked highly affronted for a moment & said

"Stop changing the subject." He said a tad exasperatedly.

"I'm not..."

"T! Do you honestly think that those concillors would have listened to you? Sounds to me like Stag was just making sure those sexist old farts had no objections to your plan."

...

What the hell? K was giving me a moment of _clarity_? **K**?! The same K who scoffed at my warnings against adding fire-shooting guns to his wooden puppets: "What are you talking about T? It'll be fine!"

**_That_** K?!

Sidebar Alert:

There are still scorch marks in some rooms of the palace if you know where to look.

End Sidebar.

You understand my hesitancy when he decided to hand me this epiphany... or it could have been the fact that I hate admitting when K could have a point.

Come on! It's K!

So I decided to hit him with something else.

"That's all well & good but why didn't he just talk to me about it and what about the last night I was there? What's the excuse now?" There is no way lightening is going to strike twice.

He sighed. "T, I'm not excusing all of his behaviour. He acted like a douchebag. But I'm just saying that maybe he's not the biggest asshole in the world."

...

NO DJ. Lightening DID NOT strike twice.

Anyway. After that ridiculous conversation, we finished our sparring session. I have to tell you DJ. I was a little discombobulated. I mean, not only does K sneak attack those 'insightful' statements on me, I wasn't able to work out all my frustration about it. By the time dinner came around, I have half a mind to go back to the Leaf and blast that idiot just to be done with it.

But I can't. I have obligations. I'm not just talking about the ones I owe to my baby brother as a Sand Ambassador to the Kazekage. But also, the children of my own village. The Sand Academy can't be built in a day. That takes precedence over any petty squabble I have with any shady, moronic, drunken shinobi.

...

It's been nearly a week. I have not seen or heard hide nor hair of him.

Maybe it's better this way. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I mean, come on DJ. There are a plethora of reasons why it's best that things ended like this.

One. He's younger than me. Have I not mentioned that? meh.

Two. With all the things that have happened leading up to the kiss, he's probably thought it over and is washing his hands of this as I write.

Three. Even though this is in the range of possibilities like having lightening striking 8 times, long distance relationships? Just ugh.

Those are some hefty reasons why I shouldn't be bothered anymore. I just cut my losses and move on. I shouldn't want to be with him.

But as I stare out my window, watching the stars fade away into the light of a new day (for the third night in a row this week), I have to admit it to myself:

I shouldn't. But I do, DJ. I really, really do.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	19. Introspection 101

**Chapter Title**: Introspection 101

**Word Count**: 2377

**A/N**: Sorry guys. I know that I've said that I would have this posted every Sunday, but this weekend was a complete horror. I was at work almost the entire time. And it wasn't just "at-the-office-alone-on-the-weekend" kind of work. It was "the-boss-is-in-and-is-cranky-like-whoa" kind of work environment. Yeah, not fun. Although, by the end of it, she decided to buy us all doughnuts and coffee as a way of saying thanks. I know some of you may think it nothing, but you didn't see the doughnuts she bought. Creullers, cinnamon twists and apple fritters. Oh my. See, nothing but high class all the way. She cares!

A friend said that she expensed it to her corporate account. Never mind. it's the thought that matters, amirite? =/

Moving on. this chapter isn't really about SxT again. It's going to be a few more but I solemnly swear, they're going to be up to no good ... uh... I mean, we'll be going back to that sweet interaction soon. I'm sorry but as the chapter title indicates, Temari's got some thinkin' to do. So it's not so much about the funny this time around.

Anyway, I thought I would have had this completed yesterday but with the inauguration and all, y'know...

"...Temari? wait a minute. Are... are you crying?"

-turns head away from inauguration speech on CSPAN- "No, I'm not! I just got a little dust in my eye!"

Yeah, Temari. Me too :)

Please R&R and Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

My number is 8.

You may have already guessed that I haven't been sleeping all too well since I've come home. Working on the Academy project has definitely kept me busy. Don't get me wrong. It's just that it's also keep reminding me of other stuff. I decided I needed to get back to basics. I asked Gigi for a quick assignment.

I thought my impassioned speech about losing my way was very persuasive. I thought saying that getting caught up in the nonsense with the Academy & not remembering that my first obligation to my village is as a shinobi, is what convinced him. However, Gigi only had one reservation:

"Will it help you sleep better?"

Since when does Gigi know my sleeping habits (or lack thereof)?

"T. You're not the only one who notices when someone you care about isn't taking care of themselves properly."

Did I just hear a tinge of derision in his voice?

"Look. I'm sleeping just fine. I just need to... I just need this, Gigi. Please."

That's the closest I've come to begging him for his mercy in a long time.

He looked up from the paperwork on his desk to evaluate me. I think he knew what I was really asking for. He gave me a 7 day routine reconnaissance mission for one of the nearby village. Rumors of an insurgence were floating around.

It was perfect. It was just enough activity that demanded enough concentration to have me both mentally and (not just) physically exhausted.

"Thanks, Gigi. I appreciate it."

The night before the assignment, I was able to focus on it and cleared my head enough to sleep properly.

I won't give you all the details of the mission since I'm not looking to write out the report again.

I'll just give you an overview.

I had to do recon, talk to the natives, as it were. Was able to find the leader of insurgence. Tried to play nice. Yadda-yadda-yadda. We ended up fighting each other by moonlight.

He was a very peculiar individual. He told me his name was Yoshiro. He was a close ranger fighter and kept up a rather strange conversation during our fight. He waxed philosophic about life, our place in the universe and who we were fighting for.

His messy black hair seemed as wild, reckless and unpredictable as his fighting style; but his knowing smile & conversation told me otherwise. He said the reason he was fighting was for the people he loved, for those he had lost and to seize the opportunity for the many others who could not.

Pretty words & lofty ideals. It sounded like nothing but lip service to me. Because DJ, really. What was his endgame? Overtaking my home? **That** is not an option.

"I'm not looking to become one of your recruits."

"I didn't think so." He nearly slashed my collarbone. "So why are you here? Have you ever even seen the Sand Overlord?"

"I'm here to protect my village's way of life and to keep the peace." My kick missed him by a couple of inches. "I don't need to see the Overlord to do that."

"Spoken like a true foot soldier." He jeered. "Come on. Hasn't there ever been something you wanted but didn't have the nerve to just take?"

"I've never had a problem with going after what I want or telling people exactly what I'm thinking."

In the middle of a fight to the death, why did my thoughts revert back to Stag? And why was I suddenly feeling distinctly uncomfortable?

Shut up DJ.

Yoshiro picked up on my discomfort too and knew he had hit a nerve.

"You can lie to me all you want. But you can't lie to yourself. What's the matter? Were you scared? Afraid of the consequences? Rejection? Or were you just scared of being wrong?"

I had had enough. It was time to finish this and stop playing around with my dinner as it were. Time to end this surreal conversation. And besides, he was incorrect. I wasn't afraid of being wrong (because DJ, quite frankly, when does that happen?); I was afraid of being right.

That he wasn't really interested in me. That I was just an obligation to him. That he was just using me.

But there was also a tiny part me that refused to believe any of that because that part of me knew I had blown my chance for something... more. That part of me was obscenely furious at myself for refusing to see everything that has happened for what it really was. And for becoming something I am not because I was out of my depths and just didn't take that first step.

I was angry.

Thankfully, Yoshiro was more than adequate to help me work through it.

By the end of it, I was sliced in several places (All superficial wounds. I was understandably distracted). I was also bruised and unbelievably sore. My stay at the Leaf had made me soft and extra girly. There must be something in the water there.

Yoshiro, on the other hand, was bleeding profusely from his mouth. My fan can deal a lot of damage at long and close range. I think I shattered two of his molars. He was panting.

Ok Yoshiro. Playtime's over.

I incapacitated him rather quickly. I calculated his movements and had him lying on top of the random forest debris caused by my whirlwind attack.

I had to make sure that the job was done, so I walked over to him cautiously.

I was surprised. He was still alive. He turned over to his side, coughing up blood. And then he was laughing.

He must have known that he was going to die at any moment. But DJ. He was laughing. And it wasn't maniacal as you might think. It was raspy and interspersed with that hacking bloody coughing. But it was sincerely happy. It unnerved me in a way a maniacal laugh could not.

"What is so damn funny?" If the real Yoshiro was going to pop up out of nowhere, the clone should have popped out of existence already. I readied myself, just in case.

"I'm happy." He said simply. "I followed my heart ....and everything leading up to this ...moment is proof of that. I have no regrets." He was wheezing really hard now.

"I can finally go to _her_ ...with a clear conscience. And she'll be waiting for me... with open arms."

I don't know who the hell he was talking about; but it didn't really matter, did it? Death, up close like this, is almost always surreal, terrifying and bittersweet.

"Can you say the same thing, little girl?"

Unbelievable. The man was a breath away from Death's door and he was mocking me?!

"Good night sweet prince; may flights of demons wing you to your rest." I fingered the handle of my kunai getly.

He laughed again.

"Maybe they will." Obviously he didn't believe it for a moment. Spoken like a man in complete denial. ...You have to admire that kind of oblivion. And in a strange way, perhaps even feel a twinge of envy.

From a completely objective standpoint, you understand.

"But I'm ready. Come what may."

"Liar." I couldn't help myself. "There's no one you've want to see one last time? Nothing you'd like to do? No one to hold, to tell the things you didn't say the last time you saw them?"

His accepting, peaceful demeanor faltered for a second. "They know." He shrugged. "There's nothing that they or I can do about it now anyway."

The moonlight had started to fade away and we were in that dreamlike pocket of time that was neither day nor night. The quietness around us seemed almost deafening. His eyes locked onto mine. The droplets of blood on his glasses had run and start to fall onto his face leave streaks of crimson down the cheekbones.

"If the situation was reversed, could you say the same?"

I looked down on his body. The twitchy movements had slowed; the pain looked almost overwhelming. The light in his eyes was diminishing rapidly. It was almost like I could see his spirit leaving his body. It was ugly and horrifying and hypnotic. I couldn't speak. Even though he was leaving this world, it was like he was seeing through me. I didn't trust my voice; I merely nodded.

The dying man smiled pityingly at me and whispered "Look who's lying now."

And then he was gone.

I sat down there beside his corpse amidst all the destruction. I stared at him wanting to finish our conversation. But he was dead and all I was left with was my thoughts and my heavy heart. Yoshiro's words and forced my thoughts back to Stag and what had happened between us.

I question whether I gave up on him because perhaps Yoshiro had a point and I was scared back then... or did he _really_ just give up on me? I don't know how to take it. I just keep going over it in my head again and again and again. I'm struggling. All because I've spent years denying myself from trying to find someone. To fall in love. And now? ...

I feel like that we started on something more than just a passing fancy or a childhood crush. I felt connected to him. Something that I hadn't felt with anyone before. Some of it seems like a dream. Too flattering and sweet to be substantial, y'know?

I wonder if I'm becoming my worst enemy. Maybe it's all in my head. I gotta figure a way to stop feeling him somehow. But I know that's even more futile than trying to stop waves from lapping up onto the shore.

Are these thoughts just all bullshit? I mean, it's all so silly really, love. How things can be so complicated when it, technically, is so simple.

Either you do or you don't.

Maybe it really is all in my head.

And I have Yoshiro to thank for this headache. My older squad leader, Iki, told me that every ninja has a number, tucked away in their memory, of people like this.

As a kunoichi... hell, as a shinobi, our job is to complete assignments without thought, emotion or objection. But there are some missions... individuals that really challenge those hard and fast rules. The first time that happened to me, I had infiltrated a Grass country village and had spied a shinobi say goodbye to his fiancé. The way he looked at her. I knew that he loved her the way a woman should be loved. Unreservedly and unwaveringly. The way he caressed her cheek, how he held her to him like he didn't want to leave her. He walked away from her, but turned around and mouthed "I love you." before he ran off to join the rest of his squad.

Later, our paths crossed again in the bamboo thickets outside his village, although I didn't know it at the time. His shinobi gear shielded his face from me. We were fighting for a while, both sustaining various injuries, when I was able to catch him off guard and stabbed him in the stomach with a kunai. The fight was over. He had a few minutes to live before the acid from his stomach destroyed the rest of his internal organs. I walked over to him to search of the scroll I was sent to retrieve and to make sure he did die. I took off his mask and felt my stomach drop. This was the first time I was able to see an assignment as more than just a shinobi or a target. He must have been in excruciating pain. But he didn't utter a sound. He grabbed my wrist tightly to stop me from searching his body. He stared at me like he was pleading for me to let him die with some dignity. That shook me out of the trance I was under. I couldn't leave without that scroll. But I nodded. He smiled at me through the pain and he closed his eyes as I calmly put my hands on either side of his head. He whispered 'thank you'. I closed my eyes as well as I turned my head away from him and snapped his neck.

Since then there have been several more individuals who made me wonder about life, love, obligation, or my place in the world. Each deadly interaction has made me change my point of view to some degree about various things. These people, in one way or another, really made me think. Our time together, no matter how brief, has affected me in ways that I would have not thought possible before meeting them. I look upon each of their deaths with regret, sliver of sadness and gratitude. They are not just numbers in a report or warriors destined to die in combat. That nameless ninja was the first among the seven people whose words and/or actions have helped mold me into the person I am now.

Iki told me that he has a list like this. His number was 15.

Today, Yoshiro joins the other seven in my mind.

My number is 8.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	20. Back to the Grindstone

**Chapter Title**: Back to the Grindstone

**Word Count**: 2201

**A/N**: I know.

I suck.

All I can say about the lapse in time is that life had a tendency to sneak up on you when you're not looking busy doing stuff like making spring rolls (or something equally mind-numbing). oy veh. I'm sorry.

Now to prove how sorry I am, I will be posting the next 3 (possibly 4) installments by the end of day Friday. My access to the internet has been and will continue to be VERY limited this week. But come hell or high water, I WILL be posting them. The reason I'm not posting all of them right now is because, to be honest, I haven't quite finished fiddling with them yet.

I am exhausted. I have been doing the early shift at work as of late and this is doing crazy shiznits to my night-owl tendencies when I feel the most creative. bah.

anywho. I really am sorry. I know that some of you will have disengaged with this drivel already and will be vexed at me for not only making you wait this long and not giving you what you want, but also you may want to blame me for some spinal dislocation. D:

I'm sorry. The climax you seek will be coming by the end of the week. Until then, I suggest, perhaps taking a nap, skipping the next 3 chapters or getting a back massage. Send the bill to Shikamaru. This is all his fault anyway.

Now if you'll excuse me. I need to stop looking at this my connection fails and you all finish sharpening your knives. *goes to decompress and have a puff*

Other than that: Please R&R and enjoy (if possible).

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

First off, let me say I'm sorry for not keeping you abreast last week. My missing weekly missive is due to the fact that, although I am still working on the Sand Academy project, I still have my obligations as a kunoichi.

Meaning that in addition to this monstrous project I stupidly decided to head, I'm also required to "help out" (according to Gigi) with other missions & Sand business.

After my latest mission, I was scouting existing structures and possible constructions designs for the Academy, reviewing old Chuunin call lists for potential sensei to teach the classes, arguing over the finer points for the Academy's operational budget and, of course, creating the Suna Academy Committee so I can delegate tasks to my minions... uh, members, more efficiently.

And just in case you're wondering DJ, no, I am complaining. I have no reason to. I signed up for this. Besides, everyone seems excited about getting the Academy on its feet. They all want to help. It's even piqued Gigi's interest as well and he's agreed to lend a hand. He's even promised to teach when classes finally get underway. That is going to be interesting.

I have no reservation in my mind that the potential students will have much to gain from him. But I'm worried about what their reaction to him will be.

But I suppose the more immediate concern of the day is that he just keeps K in line. Sweet Kami-sama!

DJ, I think I've created a monster.

Between Gigi & I the time we have to complete our various daily tasks is very limited. And in a moment of delirious weakness, I decided to let K become co-head of the Academy Project. At first, K didn't want to do it.

"Why should I? I could be on a mission or training or..."

"Since when have you shied away from the path of least resistance?"

"Least resistance?! All that extra work just to argue with contractors, bratty kids' parents and Kami-sama knows who else? No thank you."

I didn't know 'thank you' was in his vocabulary. I was just about to launch into a very persuasive argument involving my fan and his jaw, when we were interrupted. Two messengers had arrived, requiring my signature/approval/opinion on various Academy business.

I made K wait while I dealt with the first one. I noticed some of the Architect's designs for the potential building were grossly inadequate to my specifications. I told the messenger that the plans were (in so many words) shit and that the architect should be drafting new ones with my specifications immediately.

The messenger nodded curtly and, before he left, said "You're the boss."

I glanced at K to make sure he didn't try to slip away. I was fully expecting to see one of his puppets standing in his stead. But, lo and behold, DJ. He was standing there with a look on his face that said the gears in his head were turning.

You can imagine how rusty those gears must be. It looked a like a painfully halting process.

But before I could ask him what was wrong, the look was gone and he said: "But I suppose that since you're _begging_ me for my expertise and I am such a great guy, then I suppose that I must do what I can to help the project along."

Then he turned to the second messenger and immediately started making all kinds of executive decisions with an air of authority becoming his station instead of with the goofballish buttheadness I know him for.

I was about to clarify that I DO NOT beg him for anything **ever**, but he was on a roll. The decisions he was making weren't half bad. As much as he refuses to admit it, he may argue with me, but it looks like he's been taking note. Sounds to me like he was actually listening during the Committee meetings.

Then he looked at me while he was bellowing commands. I don't know whether that look meant to ask me what I was still standing there for or if he just was tormented at being put in such a position.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown, ne, K?

So I left him to it. This now cleared my schedule so I could go see Gigi. I knew I would be able to catch him around that time because of the small break he routinely takes in the afternoons. This would be the perfect opportunity to discuss Sand Ambassador business. ...I still am the Ambassador, remember that, DJ? Yeah. I nearly forgot too.

I still have a few questions on various topics regarding budgeting, student assessment scheduling & instruction planning. I decided a trip to the Leaf would help clarify this. So I needed to ask Gigi permission for a leave.

"What are your concerns? I can just send Lady-sama a quick note. I'm sure she can get someone to get the answers for you."

"Yes. Thanks for the offer, Gigi. But I think it would be better if I go down there to understand myself; in case her answers only bring more questions. Rather than to keep bothering her with more random messenger hawks...." That didn't sound as lame in my head.

Gigi stole a look at me out of the corner of his eye. And after a beat, he went back to drinking his tea. I could have imagined it but I thought I saw a smirk behind his teacup as he brought it to his lips.

"Look, I got K to temporarily handle the Academy stuff here."

"K? Really? How's he taking it?"

I relayed what happened with the sudden appearance of 'King' K and Gigi laughed.

I think this new minted persona of K's is mainly because of the both us. His oldest sibling & (formerly) scariest sibling. He's been taking orders from us for so long that now I think he's playing catch up.

I see eminent power-trip coming.

Gigi asked me if he can handle it. And you know what, DJ? For all my blustering to the contrary, I think he can.

"Then let the baby have his bottle." The amusement in his eyes was evident.

"But I don't see why you have to go down there; we can easily brief one of the committee members to go. And besides, your responsibilities as a Suna kunoichi come first. I was thinking..."

He's sending me on another mission. I can't deny that there's a grain of truth in what he was saying. But...

"You have a mission for me?" I didn't realize it at the time but I was grinding my teeth again. "You're right, of course. What am I doing? How long is this going to be..."

"It's a month long escort mission to the Cloud Country..."

An escort mission to an ally country?!?!? Is he serious?!

...

For real, DJ. Is this mother f... Is he serious?!?!

My thoughts must have been evident on my face because when I looked at him, I could tell he was having a hard time keeping his smile off his.

Alright. I get it. So that concludes our 'Busting Chops Moment' with Gigi & T. Now let's get back to our regularly scheduled program.

That's when I decided Gigi & K are spending **way** too much time together.

Gigi finished his drink. He looked thoughtful.

"Listen T. If you need to go, then be the Sand Ambassador and go. You don't need my permission. Just let me know that you are so I can make the necessary arrangements. We'll be fine til you get back."

Looks like break time's over. Back to serious business.

"Thank you Gigi. I won't be too long. Just a week or so..."

"Fine.. But you think Stag will have enough time to sufficiently grovel for only 'a week or so'?"

See that, DJ? Gigi's going for an encore comedy performance.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." There's that smirk again!

At that point, I had my fill of Gigi's Komedy Korner and left the room. And within the hour I had left Suna.

Hey! I needed to gain some ground before nightfall!

The fact that I didn't stop until going for a day and & half is because I was feeling...restless. So I thought it would be a good way to work off that extra energy.

Yes DJ. That's what it was.

I arrived in the Leaf without much fanfare. Apparently, messenger hawks aren't what they used to be. I approached the gates to be greeted by the two guards stationed there. One of them was going to take me to Lady-sama when we heard a grandmother and child having a loud conversation as they passed by. The elderly lady squinted at me and said to her grandchild.

"Isn't that girl the from the florist shop? Why is she just standing there? I told her to call me as soon as my order of Ajisai came in! Petal! Did my order come in yet?"

The grandchild looked embarrassed. "No Obaa-san. That isn't Petal. That's the Sand Ambassador from Suna. Petal told me that your order won't be coming in until next week." she was talking rather loudly. Obaa-san seemed to be deaf as a post.

"Didn't you tell me Petal is the one who's dating Shikapu's boy? Every time I've seen this one," She extended a bony finger in my direction. "She's been with him."

"Yes, that was Petal. But, Obaa-san, she and Stag dated a LONG time ago. The reason why he was with her was because Stag was the Sand Ambassador's guide."

"...Oh." She turned to face me. "Such a pretty girl..." And walked away.

I was about to chase...err... approach the granddaughter who had such in-depth information on Stag like his previous dating history. But, to my chagrin, the guard was ready to go.

I was immediately taken to see Lady-sama. She was surprised and told me that she wasn't expected me for at least another day.

What can I say? My middle name is efficiency.

"As you may be aware, Lady-sama, the plans for the Suna Academy are well on their way. But I would like to clarify a couple of details in regards to various aspects of the project as soon as possible..."

"Yes of course. I can definitely arrange someone to see to your questions after to get settled in. I'm sure it's been a long and tiring journey for you. Once you've rested..."

"Thank you for addressing my concerns so quickly. But I was wondering if Stag would be available to discuss some of the issues I have. I would like to get his thoughts on a few matters, since he IS a genius. I think his perspective will give me a better understanding on how to better ..."

"He's away on a mission."

"Oh..." WTF?! Oh of course. This must be Murphy's legislators working some serious overtime.

"But he'll be back in a few days. Wolf, however, will be available tomorrow...." Was Gigi giving out lessons on how to make that smirk of his?

"Wolf is a fine choice, no doubt. But I think Stag's additional insight would give me the clarity I need..."

Never let it be said that I can't do subtle, DJ.

Lady-sama raised an eyebrow questioningly at me but said nothing. After a moment, however, she told me that she would see what she could do. Whatever that meant.

"I appreciate you accommodating me. Thank you again, Lady-sama."

During our talk, she had seen to my living arrangements. I'm at the same inn as the last time. I'm all settled in and I am waiting for Stag…I mean, Wolf to come and see me so we can get down to business.

....

Yup. just waiting & resting.

...I've taken a nap to recharge after the journey.

Had a lovely dinner. Got into a discussion about noodle making with Raku and his daughter.

Took a walk downtown to the market and look at the various displays.

Had a long relaxing soak in the tub when I got back to my room.

...Yeah. This makes it official.

Resting sucks.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	21. The X factor aka Girl Talk

**Chapter Title**: The X-factor aka Girl Talk

**Word Count**: 873

**A/N**: Can't spend too much time on this. Internet connection iffy at best. If you don't like it, as stated in the last chapter, take a nap, make spring rolls, take up painting with Bob Ross ("happy little trees..."). If you don't know who he is, google is the shiznits.

According to my count, I still have 1 (possibly 2) chapters to go.

til tomorrow I suppose. D:

Please R&R and enjoy (if possible).

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

He's still not fucking here

...

GEEZ!

...

I met his ex today.

And the entire experience was...like whoa.

It was not like I was intentionally seeking her out or anything. I had the afternoon off since my Wolf decided to help me out by cutting the Q&A session short today. He was going to a group training session with Fang and Shades He asked me if I wanted to join them but I declined. So I decided to do a little shopping and sight-seeing on my own. Plus, I wanted to bring some plant life (indigenous to this area) back home (for our greenhouse, you understand) and decided to stop by the local florist to see their selection.

Stop rolling your eyes DJ! It's true. And besides, I didn't run into her there. I had given my wallet quite a work out before I stopped at a cafe patio for a break and to do some people watching. Hey, I'm allowed to do what I want on a surprise afternoon off.

Anyway, my tea had just arrived when Petal strolled by, recognized me from the Masquerade Ball and invited herself for some tea since we had a pretty amusing (although superficial) conversation at the start of the party.

She was really ... I dunno. I'm still a little leery of anyone who dates their own teammates. The whole thing seems a little a bit incestuous to me, y'know?

I mean, she's known him since she was practically a baby. Maybe even before then because their fathers have known other since forever.

Plus Stag & Petal's families have probably been in each other's home even Genin. That creates strong bonds and a familiarity that makes him & I look like strangers.

So you'll understand my apprehension about her.

But she was perfectly normal. There was something about her though.

Initially, I was ready to dismiss her as a noisy ditz who was more than a tad superficial. But the longer I talked to her, the more I was willing to doubt his impression of her. She's a lot more shrewd than (I'm guessing) a lot of people give her credit for.

Anyway, our conversation eventually (of course) seemed to turn towards Stag.

She seemed to picked up on my aloofness about him because she told me that:

Yes, they had dated.

Yes, she was his first girlfriend for a few months.

Yes, she was his first kiss.

But she said that it wasn't serious. It was puppy love.... Well, as much as you can imagine Stag acting like a puppy in love.

At the end of the day, they're better off as teammates/friends.

She said "I was too high maintenance for him. And I wasn't looking forward to nagging him into doing stuff all the time. I need to be treated like a princess."

Don't get me wrong though. She also said that he was a good man at the end of it all, but he needs a strong woman to "whip his ass into shape". And for all his slacker tendencies, he is really deep. And sometimes, you can see insightful brilliance in some of the things he says.

You know what DJ? I believe it.

Too bad that most of the time I see is a lot of whiny bullshit when he talks to me.

Besides, there was also the glaring fact that she was interested in someone else. She seemed giddy about him. It was really kinda sweet, now that I think about it. Mind, if she was gaga over someone else, I might have gagged myself. But no really, it's sweet.

Anyway, he must be a gentle soul and must know how to pamper a woman.

When she finally told me who it was, I was a bit surprised. I guess it showed on my face because she looked like she was expecting my reaction. She chastised me and reasoned that it's the shinobi way to look underneath the underneath.

She said that he had a good heart and saw the best in her. And, hell, she was a sucker for the romance and apparently he's got that in spades.

When I still looked a bit doubtful, she asked me if I've ever wondered about the extent of his expansion jutsu.

Now DJ, it took me a minute to figure out what the hell she was talking about. But I knew I was blushing when I looked to see her smiling knowingly and (a bit too smugly, if you ask me) said "Yeah. Exactly."

...

I know. That, my friend, is the classic definition of an overshare.

...

Alright. Enough of this.

Goodnight DJ,

T

....

You still thinking about it?... Yeah me too.

....

Damn.


	22. Mending Fences

**Chapter Title**: Mending Fences

**Word Count**: 1646

**A/N**: I'm sorry. I suck. I don't deserve your readership. I know. Would it help that I'm REALLY REALLY sorry? *_*

I still love ya. I wanted to post eons ago. But with the shoddy internet connection I've been having (along with various other malarky), I took it as a sign that this chapter could have withstood a revamp. I'm still not highly pleased with it but at least it's not as bad as before.

Also, to show a sign of goodwill, guess who I brought? ;)

"Summer, what did you want? I was kinda doing something."

"Listen here. I have been doing Shika-by-proxy installments since ...a hella long time! Enough is enough. You are coming to this one. Your opinion and agenda previous to this is irrelevant."

"But I..."

"BUT YOU WHAT, NARA?!"

"I was buying clothes..." *points to bag*

"Are you kidding me?!" *grabs bag & pulls out 'Team Temari' boxers briefs*

"I wanted the t-shirt but they sold out."

*shakes head*

"What?"

"Well played."

"Summer, They don't call me a genius for nothing, you know."

Anyway guys, please enjoy and R&R.

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

I've noticed that I've written to you every day this week about random nonsense that, in retrospect, I couldn't care less about. But I was trying to pass the hours without losing my mind. So you're going to have to forgive me. There's no choice. I was getting impatient and, more to the point, I was running out of questions to ask Wolf.

He noticed it too because, after a particularly inane one, he said "He'll be back soon. Don't worry."

As a knee-jerk reaction, I asked "What are you talking about?"

He pursed his lips, rolled his eyes and said "Nothing T."

Look DJ. I have no problem with talking to Wolf. And I haven't forgotten the heartfelt lessons given unknowingly by bespectacled ninja with wild black hair & a haunting laugh. But I think that if I truthfully responded to that statement, it would have immediately opened the flood gates and I wanted to discuss it with only one person in particular first.

I had decided to work off my frustration by going to train. And I'm talking about real training: Suna style. So I was well-exhausted when I made my way back to the village. Even though I was fresh from a Sand mission and trained almost every day I was home, this training session took a lot out of me in a relatively short period of time. I had trained until I could barely lift my fan up anymore. It was just before twilight when I started to head back. I was stiff and tired. There were leaves, twigs, and God knows what else in my hair and I was feeling properly dirty. I hadn't bothered with makeup that day because when Suna training is involved, lip gloss need not be applied. As I walked back to the inn, I thought about asking Wolf to go out for drinks. This was yet another distraction from sitting in my room and going stir-crazy.

I was thinking that, with the way things were going, I would have no questions to ask in about a day & a half. And that was being generous. I was running out of options. A fleeting thought of breaking my own leg crossed my mind when someone called my name.

"T!"

...

A silhouette standing against of the fading reds and oranges of the sun appeared to be framed by the Village's gate opening. An arm extended towards the sky trying to catch my attention. But it looked as though he was just guiding the oncoming blues and purples of dusk and welcoming the encroaching nightfall.

Stag.

He's home.

He's finally home.

My feet had developed a mind of their own and suddenly carried me to him.

He was more beaten up then I have ever seen him. He had scratches on his face and arms. He was dirtier than I was and he looked utterly exhausted.

"You look great."

Damn. He beat me to it.

For the past 3 weeks, I have been going over in my head how I would approach this. What I would say, what he would do, everything planned out to the second. But all of it faded away into nothingness when my eyes met his. My heart stuttered. After everything...all I was left with was:

"I know. You look like shit..." As I brushed away a dead leaf stuck to my arm.

He looked shocked through his exhaustion and then started in.

"Woman...I waited for you."

Well. Let's not be bothered with small talk or even talking coherently. I said nothing, but looked at him questioningly.

"After that meeting that changed everything between us. I waited for you. I was wrong about leaving before I got to talk to you. I admit it. But you..."

I held up my hand. L2 was a few meters away from us, yelling at the incoming of injured shinobi, ushering them towards the hospital. She noticed Stag standing there and bellowed

"STAG! DO I HAVE TO BREAK YOU BEFORE YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL?! ...What's that, Violet? ....AND YOU STILL HAVE TO REPORT IN TO LADY-SAMA?!?! GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!!!"

I know DJ. A lady by any other name...

I took a step closer to him, looking him in the eyes and (ignoring the growing warmth on my cheeks) said quietly "Regardless of everything that needs to be taken care of first, it really is good to see you..."

He smiled.

"...Because we need to talk."

His smile faltered but he nodded.

"Yes, we do."

"STAG!!!!" L2 looked like she was going to have an epileptic seizure if he didn't get moving. I think my brother's not the only one who needs to take an anger management class.

He sighed. "I'm fine! I don't need..."

I don't know the jutsu that shoots lasers out of one's eyes. But damn, it's effective. L2's got it down pat. She didn't even need to do the hand signs.

"Move it." She mouthed. Death radiated off her chakra.

He sighed again and turned to me. I nearly smiled because I could almost hear his catchphrase echoing in his mind. Then he looked at me and nodded before he left.

DJ. It took everything in me not to chase after him and demand that we talk now. But I refrained. I want him to be in top physical condition when I kick his ass for letting all the crap to get between us. I don't want him to be calling a time-out for something ridiculous like internal bleeding. Let him get healthy and then I'll bring it. I expect he'll do the same.

So once I got back to the inn, I went to interrogate the reception desk to see if she saw Stag at the inn without me during my last stay.

"Once." She said, not offering any more information.

"Well, why didn't you tell me?!" I prompted agitatedly.

She had an odd expression on her face. A faint pink tinting her cheeks.

"T-san. I saw him leaving and it was after midnight. I assumed you were already in your room. It was the end of my shift. And I didn't see you until the following afternoon..."

Quick DJ! Translate that for me. She's trying to tell me something, I know it!

"Besides, as a general rule of thumb, I don't make a habit out of asking teenage boys what they do in the middle of the night. But if you want me to ask all male visitors why they leave the inn at ungodly hours, I can start with yours then, shall I?"

oh.

...

OH!

OH HELL NO!

"That may be the case for some people, but not everyone can surround themselves with the quality calibre men YOU know..."

I was about to really get into it with her when her face crumbled and she looked like she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry T-san. I didn't mean to insult you. I just found out today that my best friend has been dating someone name Hirena for the past month and a half and he didn't tell me."

She looked heartbroken. Maybe she was in love with him. Unrequited Love. On some level, my heart sympathized. It may have been mentioned (by my village idiot) that I tend to lash out at unknowing bystanders on occasion as well.

"Oh. It's ok. Don't worry about it. It's all water under the bridge at this point. But I do have one more question. Are you sure it was Stag? Maybe it was someone else... it was...what? ...Almost 2 months ago?"

"I remember everything from that night. I saw him bump into my fiancé on his way out."

What?!

"Your fiancé." She wanted to have her cake & eat it too?

"That's the night Rejiro told me he'd been living a lie. He said that he needed to start being true to himself so he had to be truthful to me. He still loved me... that I was a good girl so I deserved better than this. Then he told me he's scheduled his surgery for the upcoming Wednesday and..."

Oh. NO. She's not gonna...

"...he's changing his name to Hirena Troi."

Oh of course she did.

DJ. I've come to accept it. I must have come to the Leaf during OverShare-a-poolza. It's obvious.

After mumbling half-hearted condolences and trying desperately to get out of this ridiculous conversation, she gave me the out I was wishing for. She tearily excused herself before I could even hand her a tissue.

I thought things between Stag & I were bad; but **that** is one hot mess.

Even though our fight was nowhere near that level, he and I have allowed this to fester under our skin for much longer than 3 weeks.

He's not going anywhere soon.

Neither am I.

At least that's what I'm telling Gigi in the letter I write next. Which will be right after this.

12 hours won't kill me.

Hypothetically speaking.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	23. ! ! the Oh remix

**Chapter Title:** !!! (The Oh remix)

**Word Count:** 5134

**A/N:** Surprise! Y'all didn't think I'd have this up so soon, did you?

...

Hai! Put those letter bombs away!

As some of you may have guessed not so much with the funny this time around. But I did aim to get a few smirks if anything....hopefully? *fail* T_T

I promised myself I wouldn't make you wait longer than 12 hours. And I can't look at this anymore. I will be replying to all of your lovely reviews shortly. But I need to get some sleep. I have some serious catch-up to do tomorrow. Oy veh.

Anyway guys, please enjoy and R&R.

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

I guess that 12 hour wait will forever remain in the hypothetical.

Well, first thing's first. Let me start from the beginning.

After the catastrophe at the reception desk, I went back up to my room. Finished off my letter to Gigi and took a nice long shower.

Got dressed carefully. Had a quiet dinner. And, after dessert, thought that enough time had passed for me to go to the hospital without seeming overly anxious.

...

fuck it.

I wanted to go see him. And if I'm being honest, I've wanted to see him for 7 weeks, 3 days & 21 hours. And yes. I was counting.

It was night. The stars were out. The streetlights cast a warm welcoming glow and I was still 2 blocks away from the hospital. I paused in front of a merchant's stand selling all kinds of kitchenware. I took a moment to check my appearance in one of the shinier black plates when I heard:

"We get it right this time, ok?"

I nearly dropped the plate. I whipped around. There was Stag. Cleaner. Bandaged. And still looking entirely and completely brilliant.

"Huh?"

I, on the other hand... I put the plate down.

"Walk with me?"

He nodded his head towards the direction of a street I had just passed.

"Lead the way."

We started walking down the streets of his hometown. Each silently going over our own monologues explaining and defending our actions. I decided to start things off.

"You really have a lot of nerve, you know that?"

I don't know where we were going or where this was going to lead to. And even though I am scared out of my mind about the outcome, we needed to do this. It couldn't continue like this.

"No T. Unfortunately for us, I didn't have enough."

He looked pissed. "If I did, we wouldn't be here right now. Maybe we would, but under different circumstances..."

"This all started because I was too stupid to tell you what was going on."

"I'm with you there." I nodded in agreement. This was where he is going to blame those sexist councillors...

He pursed his lips. "Did you honestly think that those councillors were going to listen to you?" Why does this sound familiar?

"You were chosen as a dignitary from a village that was intent on destroying the Leaf for a while."

...Wait! What?!

He held his hand up.

"Regardless of who really started it, the Leaf had extended its hand to the Sand once already. The elders and councillors were not looking to go through that again. No matter how pat the explanation seemed to be. Or how short of a memory some people wanted to have in order to forget that. Unfortunately for us, there will also be those who will always remember."

"The explanation was not pat! My father was killed by DT!" This was absolutely outrageous.

"I know that T." He looked sincerely apologetic. "Everyone does now. But you have to understand. At the time, some of the them still had their objections. They weren't willing to trust so easily again. The Hokage had to fight with the elders to allow it to happen."

"So you're blaming the Sand.."

"Think about it T! The Leaf just lost its leader. We were trying to get the Leaf back on its feet and from the massive destruction set up by DT..." He nodded his head concededly in my direction. "And then you come along, all beautiful and ready for business, throwing all kinds of money at the Leaf with promises of more and talking about setting up an identical ninja Academy in the Sand so soon after what had happened."

DJ. You like how he tossed that in there? It almost threw me off for a moment too. Almost.

"You mean after all the time I was here. After all the carefully built inroads we've made to restore our villages' relationship, they still doubted my sincerity? They thought this was a smoke screen?"

This was unbelievable.

"Can you wait a minute?" He asked, interrupting. "I need to get something in there..." He hitched a thumb towards a house.

The lights were on.

"Unless... you wanna come inside?" He looked ...i dunno... hopeful?

This was his house.

I take it back DJ. That was unbelievable. We were in the middle of an argument & he wants to leave to 'get something'?

"NO." And truth be told. I really didn't want to meet Mr. & Mrs. Shikapu just yet.

"Ok." He held up his hands meekly. "But please don't leave. I want to discuss everything with you, I swear. But I have to grab this. I haven't had a chance since I've come home. I'll only be a minute..."

You gotta be kidding me.

"You're damn right I'm not leaving! This is SO not even **_close_** to over."

He paused. A tiny smirk appeared on his lips, regardless of his attempts to hide it.

"Good. I'm glad we agree." He said; his eyes fixed on mine.

Why did I feel the tiniest bubble of hope rise in my chest?

Shut up DJ! Don't jinx it!

Anyway , he nodded and walked away. I thought he was going to walk through his front door, but he didn't. He walked around to the side and climbed in through a window. I would assume that it would be to his room.

He was back in a flash. Hands in his pockets. He wasn't carrying a scroll, book or any obscenely expensive tennis bracelets in order to make amends.

Now DJ. This is not to say that he could buy my forgiveness or that everything the _both_ of us have done could be washed away with a couple of ryo. I am a woman of the new millennium. I expect more than that. But almost every woman of the new millennium will tell you that kinda thinking never hurts your chances.

Anyway, he was probably picking up some tissue, in case he started crying in front of me.

Hey! It wouldn't be the first time.

He stopped in front of me. He didn't say a word but merely lifted his arm towards the street as if asking if I would like to continue our stroll.

We start walking again towards some undefined destination. It wasn't until we reached the Hokage's building when I realized where we were going. He was taking me to the top of the tower. I've heard that this was the place where he comes to think...sleep...do Stag-like things.

We had reached the top of the stairs. The moon had taken over the night, trying to beat the stars' at their own game. The city vista laid before us like an ebony blanket sprinkled with an array of different coloured gems. A light warm breeze danced playfully over my skin. I could see why he wanted to bring me here.

It was perfect. In case, he got stupid. No witnesses.

He picked up the conversation right where we left off as if we didn't put it on pause for this mysterious courier pickup.

"Unfortunately, it was a bit of mistrust and a lot of pessimistic paranoia."

"So I guess money really does right all wrongs, then." I was ready for it and I was disgusted.

"No, it wasn't about that. It was the timing. Half them expected retaliation a couple of weeks in. The other half was just waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"But that..."

"The school was ...IS a good idea. It's just...if the idea was to come from you, it would have been the reason they were looking for..."

"Basically, I was asking for a peek at the foundation blocks for becoming a Leaf shinobi after my village was just defeated in battle. You guys thought that this would manifest itself into some sort of underhanded counter-attack?"

At first I was livid. How dare they!? I can't believe this.

"... In so many words, yeah. But, T, if the situation was reversed..."

I thought about it for a moment.

Point taken.

"But that doesn't explain why you didn't just tell me all this from the beginning..."

"I was going to. I swear, I was. But I had to create that stupid report and run it by Lady-sama. I may know some stuff but this needed to be just right. The fact that you waited until the next meeting to talk about the Academy thing, gave us the time to let a couple of the councillors read it. It became a little convincing afterwards..."

"Exactly! Kira-san said you gave that report to him 2 days before the meeting!" Thank God for transcripts! "You had over 48 hours to 'fess up and you didn't!"

He looked at me strangely. "T. Some of the councillors are nearly as old as the elders. He was a little confused. It was only a day between the last time we played shogi & that meeting."

No, he's ...crap. I guess time flies when you're having a rage conniption.

"I spent the rest of the night doing that report. And after submitting it to the Hokage, Danyo-san & Kira-san, I went to bed."

"You. Did. What?"

Let him explain first; then I can kill him. Let him explain first; then I can kill him. Let him explain first; then I can kill him...

"At that point, I had been running on 3 hours sleep within that 48 hours timeframe."

"What the hell were you doing the night before?"

He looked away from me and although it was washed out by the moonlight, his blushing cheeks were definitely there.

"I couldn't sleep. I laid in bed all night thinking...about plans...." He snuck a look at me.

Plans?... What p...?

...Oh.

I...

Wait a minute! With the diversionary tactics! He almost got me! Again!

"But that doesn't explain..."

"You're right. It doesn't really explain it. Ok. I think there was a bit of me that was a bit hesitant about telling you."

Finally the truth comes out. But he's gotta give me more than that.

"Why?" I demanded.

"I don't know if you know this, but you're not the most subtle person in the world..."

What would make him say that?

"..and we didn't know if you could be capable of hiding that knowledge very well."

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

"Shit-san are you telling me that I'm not a good ninja?"

"Uh NO, T. I'm not saying that at all! How can I think that when you helped me out with Tayunya..."

"...'Helped'? I saved your lazy behind..."

"Semantics." He brushed it off. "Point is that you are a very capable kunoichi. It's just that you have a tendency to brandish your anger like a shield and, quite frankly, I was a little concerned about how you would react if you knew back then."

"That was my decision to make. If you rationally presented the facts to me, I know I..."

"T, the second time I met you, you demolished a 50 mile radius of forest just to subdue a target."

How am I suppose to make him grovel when he's acting all logical like that?

"I barely worked up a sweat. It's not my fault the Fire Country doesn't make trees like they used to. And besides, all that is irrelevant! Long forgotten Sound kunoichi aren't an excuse. We spent the past 2 ½ months together, getting to know each other. I thought my intentions were clear. From what you're telling me, you say I can't be subtle but you still didn't understand why I was here? Or that I was being honest? Either I have been using Fang-speak all that time or you have to come up with a better explanation than that."

"I knew that you were being honest and that you had no intention of planning a counter attack. That's why I spent the better part of that night doing that report. I wanted to leave no reason for them to decline your idea."

"So why didn't you just find me the next day and explain..." Why do I keep repeating myself to a genius? I felt like an idiot.

"Look. I know. My dad woke me up at 5:45am the morning of the meeting. One of the deer was in trouble. A doe was giving birth and the foal hadn't turned over. We nearly lost them both. By the time I got to the inn you were gone. When I finally did catch up to you...well, you know what happened."

Yeah. And thanks to you, DJ, I can't forget it.

"You couldn't come and find me after that meeting? I know the Leaf is a big city compared to the Sand but it ain't that big..."

"I told you I tried come talk to you after the meeting. I waited for you at the inn for as long as I could stand it."

"What do you mean: 'as long as I could stand it'?" My field of vision narrowed to only him and his body language.

He looked really uncomfortable at that point. "That's the problem. I waited for you. I stationed myself in front of your room planning to tell you everything. I kept going over what I would say to you. How you would react over and over and over again. Each conceivable scenario ending more horribly than the last. By the time it was just after midnight, I was a mess. And that's when I lost my nerve. I fooled myself into thinking that if I give you a day, and we both slept on it, I would come to you and explain. Regardless of how livid you might be. Terrifying as that may sound."

"Don't make this into something it wasn't. You're a shinobi. You've stared death in the face on several occasions and you were scared of me?"

He smiled sheepishly at me. "You are a force of nature, T..."

"Stag..." He was trying my patience.

"I tried but you didn't want to hear it. No matter what I did or said could change the asshole I had become in your mind. But there was a part of me that was half-expecting you to come to me. I thought the relative silence from my end would have made you angry enough to come look for me and let me have it."

You would think that would have been a good idea. But 'thoughts of him' and 'acting on good ideas' wasn't necessarily a calculation I was able to add up properly. In retrospect, DJ, is it really that surprising? Look at my track record where he's concerned. Nonetheless, I blame alcohol.

"And then you were flirting with that dude at the costume store..."

Whoa. Wait a minute.

"What about those girls you were with? Destiny & Coco..."

"What? Who are Destiny & Coco? I was with my mom's nieces. They were in town and my mom asked me to show them around. My uncle got invited to that Masquerade. He couldn't make it, so he sent his daughters in his stead."

Well, colour me unconvinced.

"Never mind the names." I brushed it off with an elegant hand. "They're your cousins?"

"Yeah, first cousins." He said.

"But they were giggling at you, being all coy and staring at you. What was I suppose to think?"

He paused as he blushed in the moonlight. "They weren't staring at me. They were staring at you."

"Obviously. They were thinking about what a chump I was..."

"No, T. I may have let it slip that uh...a friend of mine was thinking about this girl non-stop. So I asked their opinion on what 'my friend' should do. He acted pretty stupidly. He wanted to know if they could give him any advice to get her to listen to him. To fix it. They aren't exactly road scholars but they were able to put 2 + 2 together."

Oh.

"After what happened at the costume shop, I was even less willing to make the effort. I was starting to get pissed. Then, I started thinking about Kenta."

"What about him?"

"I started thinking about the both of you. You were so willing to stay mad at me and wouldn't let me explain myself. But you were smiling at him, pouring on the charm. I'll admit it: I was jealous. I thought that you could be doing this to spite me or it was something much worse. That I was just a fleeting fancy to you. That you didn't need or want me around. And I shouldn't be bothered to try."

I know DJ. He thinks too much.

"By then I fooled myself into thinking I was pissed off with you and that I was better off without you. Whatever it took so I wouldn't have to deal with how angry I was letting you slip you through my fingers. When I should have fought to make you stay & listen."

Wow. I never knew how much Stag loved his emo-cake. Sounds to me like he's turned into an angst-addict.

What is the world coming to?

No!

Stop bullshitting T.

"If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking the same things about you."

"...You were?"

"I didn't know who those girls were to you. And maybe there was a bit of jealousy in the reason why I flirted with Kenta." A sigh escaped my lips. "And maybe I didn't see your cousins in the best possible light. I thought that I was angry at you. But now I know I was just angry at myself. I wanted to talk...fight...scream at you, but I dunno. Maybe it was my pride. Maybe it was because I was afraid of what you would say if I confronted you. I didn't want to hear that this was just business..."

He looked hopeful.

"But all that went to shit the night of the Masquerade ball."

The hopeful expression he was wearing fell into a grimace. "Yeah. About that..."

"What happened? Did you and Wolf try to hook up that night?"

WTF?! That is SOOO not the issue right now.

"What?! NO! How can you think that when I still wasn't over..."

Calm down T. Forget that you spent almost every day with him for the better part of 3 months. It was only one (amazing, electric, funny, sweet) NON-date.

The flash in his eyes was far too smug for someone in his position.

"Wolf was interested in someone else. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I just thought he needed someone to talk to. But we were both smashed. I had several glasses of champagne and even few cocktails. Kami-sama knows what Wolf needed to drink in order to own up to his feelings about..." That's none of _anyone's_ business T! "...her."

I think...actually, I know Stag knew who I was talking about but didn't probe any further. He just nodded.

"Besides, I don't think either of us thought of the other like that. It was all just bad timing. It didn't mean anything. And then you came along saying all those horrible things and then you..."

"I know T. I cannot fully convey how sorry I am about what happened on that terrace..."

"Well, why don't you tell me why you did it to begin with."

"Right. Well, originally, my plan was to avoid you like the plague. I was still mad at the entire situation and wasn't willing to give in so easily. But after talking to Elite and Wings, I knew I needed to man up and approach you. Even if I had to force you to talk to me. But it had been nearly a month. Every man is entitled to a stiff drink to gather his courage."

Why is he making it sound like talking to me is like storming the shores of the Sound?

"I was mad about you not talking to me and flirting with Kenta and then you walked into the Ball with **THAT** dress and were fine form when you finally got to me..."

"And?"

This is the part where he's gonna say I was a complete bitch to him.

"Well, that's when I realized I need more courage."

Needless to say, that was a bad choice all around.

"Old habits die hard. I don't think that I had fully let go of what had happened at the costume shop, or at the Academy. And honestly, Nanako was closer than the bar was. I was still jealous. I thought that maybe a dose of you own medicine was what was in order. That's why I grabbed her."

My first thought was: 'Oh. So that bloodsucking hyena has a name?'

My second thought was: 'This was unbelievable. We went through all this nonsense for a 5% discount? You gotta be kidding me.

...I know DJ.

I'm not diverting the heat or blaming him. We've both messed up big time. Even without Na-na-na-na-boo-boo or whatever that random's name is. -_-

"It was only afterwards that I realized that it was the wrong thing to do. I knew that had messed things up even more & I needed time to reevaluate my strategy. So, of course, the obvious place to do that was at the bar."

Obviously.

"Later, when I was on my 3rd or 4th of liquid courage, I finally decided to approach you on the dancefloor. But you left it to go talk to Wolf. Even while you were dancing your eyes were locked on him. You didn't even see me..."

I saw him and Violet. But I waited nearly a month to hear this. I wasn't going to stop it.

"So you sashayed your way over..."

I interrupted him "I sashay?"

He paused almost surprised. And he nearly hid his smirk perfectly.

"In that dress, you definitely do.

"Anyway, when you got to him...the way you fell into his arms. It was like you melted. And he had his hands all over you. Then your hands were in his hair, on his chest....EVERYWHERE..."

"That wasn't what it looked like. Any of it. I was a little tipsy, putting it mildly. It wasn't like that at all..."

"I know that now. But back then, I couldn't take it anymore. At the time, I had 3 cognacs and bourbon in me already. Your kiss was when I finished just my last sip that made me go from being brave to monumentally stupid. I wasn't exactly thinking clearly."

Clearly.

Hmmm...I wonder what that's like?

"Besides, looking back on it now. Even after everything you told me, I still don't like it." He admitted.

His expression fell somewhere between a grimace & a pout.

I was about to get incensed but something clicked. I tried to hide the beginnings of my smirk too.

"I told you it wasn't like that. ...Are you still jealous?"

"I don't like it." He repeated. And there you have it, DJ. Just this side of a pout.

"Ok. You don't like it. But what happened that terrace..."

"The terrace..."

"That kiss..." I see I needed to pull teeth here.

An aggravated sigh escaped his lips. He turned to face the city again.

"That was the worst part of this whole mess."

"The worst part?" Kissing me was the worst thing that came out of this?

"Yeah. It was. Every time I thought of us in that moment..."

"You thought about it?"

He looked at me again. "Ever since that night you didn't kissed me."

Oh.

I was thankful for the night & the tower because it was high, dark and breezy enough to cool the sudden heat in my cheeks.

"Having those thoughts in my head and finally being that close to you... I couldn't help myself. I needed to know if the fantasy really was better than the reality. I thought it couldn't be that good. Nothing could be as good as the fantasy. I hoped it would to be horrible so it would be easier to get over this hold you had over me and I was right."

My heart dropped out of my chest.

"Well at least partially. It was horrible. But not from the kiss itself. It was from what happened immediately afterwards. In every single scenario I imagined of that moment, none of them ended with you looking like it had broke you like that. That I had broke you like that. The way you looked made me disgusted with myself. I couldn't take seeing your face like that. I was a drunken, stupid coward."

I sighed.

"As monumentally stupid as you think you were, you weren't the only one. It takes 2 to tango. In all the time we were dealing with this, I thought about coming to you thousands of times but I didn't. I froze. I didn't know how to act and that's new to me too. In almost every situation, I do what needs to be done. Second guessing myself isn't really in my nature. So I fell back to something I was completely comfortable with..."

"Insulting me?"

Well, well, DJ. Isn't he just SO helpful. I think someone deserves a gold star.

"No. That was just the icing on the cake." I rolled my eyes. "I meant anger. I knew anger well, we're old friends. I couldn't stop thinking about my anger because I couldn't deal with thinking about me without you."

Whoa Nelly! Back it up. I didn't just say that.

"I mean that I didn't want to deal owning up to my role in this to you or to myself. I was scared & admittedly a little distrustful of the concept of you..."

He looked at me questioningly. "The concept of me?"

Be brave, T.

Just be brave.

"I just didn't know what to do when it came to this thing between us. The line between business and pleasure was so blurred it was non-existent. That is a really scary thing in my world. Everything falls in neat little boxes and there is always order. In my mind, you have defied categorization. I've never been in a situation like this before. Boys, in general, were never really high up on my list of prioities. I haven't really dated much. Every time something would happen with a boy, I always knew where I stood. It was an business arrangement or a bet. Or just something that didn't involve my emotions. Not really... I was able to distance myself from those kinds of things. Be safe. But you... this was the first time I found myself entertaining the possibilty of more..."

He sat there for a moment, stock still. And then he grinned shyly "More is good."

That's it?!

"C'mere."

That's better. I moved closer to him.

"I know what you're mean. Case in point: look what happened on the terrace. I didn't know what I was doing. I was upset, frustrated jealous and really, really drunk. I said things that were out of line and completely uncalled for. I was wrong and for what it's worth..." His arm flinched like he wanted to reach for mine, but second guessed itself. Then his hand reached up to gently tilt my chin so I was staring directly into his eyes.

"I'm really sorry T. I didn't mean to ever hurt you."

Down Butterflies! Down!

"And it's ok that you didn't know what to do. Half of the time, that's how I feel when I'm around you. But I'll be willing to try and figure this out with you, if you are."

I was starting to panic. I got up and walked over to the railing to clear my head. That was pointless because he got up to follow me. I started babbling.

"But I'm an old hag compared to you..."

"T, a 3 year difference is hardly makes you old..." His eyes roamed over me. "And believe me. There is nothing hag-like about you."

He took a step forward to me. He paused and grinned. "Shrew, maybe. But not hag."

I would have hit him in the stomach for a comment like that, but I couldn't. I was dealing with the ever increasing panic. It's getting more real. Another step backwards.

"What about Petal? The two of you were an item once. She was first love..."

"Right. **WAS**. _She_ isn't the reason why I was going to the Sand as soon as I got back from my mission..."

Another step.

"And **she** isn't the reason why I made Wings stay in my hospital bed so I could sneak out & find you."

Step, now smile.

"You snuck...? You're not suppose to be up?"

Of all the stupid, irresponible...

"It's like I said before. You're a force of attraction to me..." Bigger smile. He's an arms length away.

Dammit! The butterflies are escaping!

"Nature." I corrected him quietly, forgetting all about illicit rendez-vous and backed into the rail because of the way he was staring at me. "Force of nature."

"Yeah." His eyes were doing this hypnotic thing to me. "That too." His voice was soft. He gently wrapped his arm around my waist.

"But you live here and I live..."

The back of his fingers caressed my cheek.

"That's just geography, T." He said softly, grinning slightly still. His eyes shifted to my mouth.

DJ! My knees! Dammit! Where are my knees!?

Focus T! Breathe. My hands slide to the front of his chest for support.

"But the last time we kissed..."

"Yeah about that. I think that needs a do-over." His voice was so low, I could barely hear what he said.

"A do what?"

"A do this."

And then he reached up with both hands to gently cup my face, staring at me like I was the only other person in the world. He paused before my heartrate could return to normal. My breath died somewhere in my throat. But my need for it was suddenly unnecessary.

My mind seemed to blur out everything else but him. The starlight took a hazy quality. The hearty whirring of the buidling's ventilation system faded noiselessly in the background. Although the night air was cool up here, it was warm.

Or maybe I was warm. So was he.

I could feel his heartbeat mimic mine.

And he lowered his lips to gently press against mine.

...

My ideal was nothing like this DJ.

But it was exactly what my heart wanted.

Good Morning DJ,

T


	24. The Aftermath

**Chapter Title**: The Aftermath

**Word Count**: 2365

**A/N**: Ok y'all. So here's the deal. As you may have already surmised I am back. Whether if it's for the better remains to be seen. meh =\

Couple of things to get off my chest.

1) The last chapter: Thanks to everyone for all the nice comments and love vibes you sent. Muahs babies. Thank you, really. I'm glad I was able to make someone happy with it. I, on the other hand, was not that impressed. I could go on for days about it but I won't. For those of you who understand, I think you know what I think is wrong with it. But let's not focus on that. Let's just move on.

So here's to hoping that the rest of this story is something we're both happy with.

2) Because of this, I have now decided to give your guys one of two options:

Option (A) I post once every week. But if I do that, I must have a 5 chapter (minimum) buffer between what I post and what I am currently working on.

Option (B) I give you what I have now and update whenever I get inspired again. (which could be a LONG time from now)

That way I can keep what's left of my sanity. I will not give myself ridiculous self-imposed deadlines. And that way everyone will be happy. hypothetically-speaking.

I leave the choice up to you.

3) Lastly,

To Sand-Jounin-Temari & JuniperScaymoore: Thank you for being there from the beginning. Y'all really kept me motivated when I wasn't that confident in/enamoured with the Temari's voice/perspective anymore (a scary, scary place, my friends)...or when Shikamaru was acting like brat (alot easier to handle). So bigs hugs go out to you both.

And, finally, to Megami Ze : This chapter is dedicated to you. Just because you're awesome. 8D Yes. You know I'm right.

Ok. enuff of this nonsense. I still have 18 thousand loads of laundry to do. So let's get this bad boy on the road!

And remember:

reviews (whether rave or constructive) = happy!faise

flamming/spamming/etc = Ò_Ó

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

You don't know me.

I'm a kunoichi. I don't need to apologize for anything, least of all the last entry.

But in a hypothetical scenario if I was to apologize, I would say that someone had stolen my di... stationary and had impersonated me to an extremely embarrassing degree.

Let it be known that the situation has be rectified and that individual has been drawn and quartered into the deepest darkest jail cell I could find and is waiting to be tarred & feathered.

Looking back on that long ass "letter" probably makes you think that I have officially hung up my fan and traded it in for high end cosmetics & a couple of designer purses thrown in for good measure.

Rest assured that I have not changed my aversion to pink. I am no poet and damn straight I know it. I think my teeny bopper quotient has been maxed out for this month (maybe even the next 6). And I don't see any ritualistic bonfires in your near future. So safe to say, DJ, there's no need to worry just yet.

The only thing I can say about it is that the little girl in me wanted to capture that moment in all its (dare I say it?) magically cheesy romantic glory. She needed to preserve it with something.

The last thing to say about last entry is although I gave in to that little girl buried deep inside me, the woman I am knows that it never hurts to have a record of these types of conversations since they can be handily thrown back in the person's face at a later date. Nanako, anyone?

I see you nodding your head in agreement DJ. Thank you.

I think it would be safe to say that we won't be dealing with that nonsense again for a long time. All theoretically-speaking of course. But let's keep our fingers crossed just in case.

Now cringe-inducing recollections asides, let's move onto the aftermath of our little rendezvous.

Stag & I were enjoying some quality time on the Hokage's roof by discussing how Alliance politics play a crucial role in scholastic excellence (well ... maybe not) when we were interrupted by Wings.

The hacking coughing fit was a nice touch. And obviously, very subtle. When I turned towards the noise, all I could see was his head popping out of the stairwell.

"Oh! There you are! I'm sorry guys! I _REALLY_ don't want to interrupt but we have to go." He nodded his head towards Stag.

"Wings. It's kinda a bad time right now."

"Dude. Lady-sama, L2 AND Petal are looking for you. And they are PISSED. But if you want to stay here until one of them finds you..."

"I'm right behind you."

"Good. Well..."

"Wait a minute. Petal was at the hospital too? I thought it was her night off."

"It is. But L2 was looking for you when she found us training."

Wings had explained that after the last nurse came to check on 'Stag', he left a stack of strategically placed pillows on the hospital bed before he left to meet up with Petal. Stag was about to get mad at him for leaving his "post" but Wings cut him off before he could even start.

"Dude. Tonight is the first night Petal has had off in the past 2 weeks. She's either been on a mission or pulling double shifts at the hospital..."

So on her first night off, they went to go train? This late at night? What kind of trai....

And that's when I realized Wings' blush couldn't be washed out by the moonlight either.

Damn.

I immediately began contemplating the merits of getting a pedicure as my toes were looking in need of some TLC. I caught a glimpse of Stag.

He got his weird expression on his face for the tiniest of seconds, and then it was gone.

"Right. So...um...I'll head downstairs so you guys can... I'll make sure the coast is clear." Wings mumbled. Not looking at us or waiting for an answer.

I looked over at Stag.

"Stag..."

"THEY WERE TRAINING!!!" Stag blurted out in a way that told me he needed me to agree with him because the more plausible & correct assumption would mean...

I nodded. "Night manoeuvres."

Stag let out a breath that I don't think he knew he was holding.

"Yeah." He sighed. "Look T, I gotta go... Wait a minute... What's that high pitched squealing? Oh SHI...!!!"

But it was too late. Petal had barrelled up the stairs, arguing with Wings who was trying, unsuccessfully, to stop her from coming up.

Uh oh. Looks like someone's been perusing The Wingman's Guide again.

"So help me Wings. If that idiot is up there instead of in his hospital bed, I'm taking third base privileges off the bargaining... Oh. Hey T."

"Hi Petal. What's going on?"

Stag had mysteriously disappeared from sight as he had dove behind the building's massive ventilation system.

Petal paused for a beat staring me hard in the face before answering.

"Well. Stag is back from his mission & sustained a few injuries. He's supposed to be in the hospital overnight for observation. But because he thinks he's smarter than the average shinobi, he thinks he can just stroll outta there without anyone finding out, the moron."

I felt a slight hint of panic when Petal started walking around. Her eyes were searching everywhere.

"He's back? He's out of bed & he hasn't come to see me?" The edge of panic in my voice helped with the accusatory disbelief I tried to convey.

Petal paused in making her way towards the ventilation system. She turned to stare at me again. I swear I thought she was going to call me on my bullshit, but the moment passed.

"Yeah. I know. You would have thought he would have come to you right away...." She shook her head in what look like disappointment marinading in disbelief. "...I mean the way he acted after you left..."

...Whut?

Although I didn't want to see Stag get into trouble, I was torn because...

"He was a complete mess. Blubbering about you all the time, wouldn't eat anything, barely slept, writing horribly cheesy love poems I'm sure he'll never show you. And although he refused to admit, his eyes were awfully red and puffy after he found out one of his Shogi pawn pieces was missing."

Yup. There it is. JACKPOT!

"Really?"

...

You're right DJ. It's not funny at all. But why is your head turned? And why are your shoulders shaking?

Petal's smile was enormous in spite of the fact that she was talking about her teammate's misery.

"Oh yeah. He can deny it all he wants. At the end of the day, everyone knows he cried like a little girl. It kinda sweet in a pathetic sort of way." Her voice was sympathetic. But the air of sincerity was shattered the moment she asked brightly "Remember that, Wings?"

I could almost hear the smile in her voice.

For his part, Wings maintained a tense seriousness that was at odds with the deep shuddering breaths he took just moments before.

"That would ....uh... definitely be something I wouldn't forget."

"I'm still a little pissed we didn't catch that on camera. But I suppose it's for the best. Besides, Stag made us promise not tell anyone about it..."

Petal's expression changed to angelic serenity.

"And since he's not supposed to be here, he can't get mad or let on that he knows. If he does, he knows I'll have free range to blast him from here to kingdom come for not being in at the hospital and making me look for his lazy ass on first my night off in 2 weeks! ...Unless of course, one of us tells him. Then all bets are off. But I **know** I don't have anything to worry about. I know I'm not saying anything. And Wings sure isn't..."

"Hey! What makes you think...?"

Petal went still but turned one arched eyebrow towards him.

Wings acquiesced.

"Which leaves you. You won't say anything to Stag, will you?"

Damn. She's good.

"I wouldn't dream of it." I felt myself smirking.

DJ. I still am the Sand Ambassador, after all. We must make allowances for these types of requests. It fosters trust, loyalty and all that other nonsense. And really. Isn't that what a Sand Ambassador does? If I can't keep such a simple request to keep the peace between shinobi of the same village how on earth will I do it with shinobi of different countries? I can't let all the work rebuilding the Alliance been for naught now can I?

Yup. That's what I thought.

"Yeah. These are all jokes anyway..." Wings piped up trying to salvage what was left of Stag's reputation.

Petal snorted. "Yeah. But even the smallest 'jokes' always contain a grain of truth in them. Besides, I prefer to call it creative license."

I couldn't help myself. "So what's real? The love poems? The tears? The Manorexia?"

Petal smiled at me benevolently, traces of mischief still lingering.

"Wouldn't you like to know. I have to say I'm a little fuzzy on the more embarrassing anecdotes. I'm sure L2 could remind me since I told her everything. If I can't find him at the hospital, I'm going to see her... in what? Ten minutes?" She turned her gaze towards Wings.

"Fifteen." He amended generously, fighting the grin trying to make an appearance on his lips.

"Alright. Alright. Fine. ...Ok. Let's get going, Wings. I think we have time to check out the bleachers behind the Academy."

Wings looked confused for a moment. But then the expression cleared and he said happily:

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Fifteen minutes." Petal reminded me as she made her way down the stairs.

"Maybe twenty." She grinned at Wings before she disappeared out of sight. Wings following her in hot pursuit.

I reiterate: Damn. She is **_really_** good.

I didn't know if it would have been in bad form if I started laughing before she left, but for Stag's sake, I kept up my poker face.

As soon as I couldn't hear Petal anymore, Stag came into view.

"All lies." He said curtly, getting straight to the point.

"Never believed her for a second."

He still looked embarrassed, and decided it was best to change the subject.

"Let's head back. There are still people looking for me..."

I agreed. We decided to take a more covert path back, just be on the safe side. I thought that it was a little ridiculous that we were hiding since I'm sure Petal called off the hounds. But then Stag took my hand in his, and I didn't think a bit of privacy was such as bad idea anymore. The trip back wasn't that eventful. By the time Petal & Wings showed up L2, Lady-sama, a handful of nurses, a trip to the hospital cafeteria AND half a round of Go had come & gone. Nearly an hour had passed.

Petal just wanted to make sure he was there. True to Petal's word, Stag didn't say anything or act in a way to indicate he heard our rooftop conversation. I suppose he was analyzing all possible strategies in getting Petal back. But Petal didn't look the least bit worried. In fact, she couldn't get rid of the perma-smile off her face. Mind. That might not have been due to her getting one up on Stag. Who knew rickety old Academy bleachers could bring such happiness? Kami-sama works in mysterious ways, DJ.

Just when Petal and Wings were about to leave, I decided to tease her about it.

"Petal...20 minutes, huh?"

She shrugged. "So I lied." She said smiling and was completely unapologetic. "Listen. I lie because I care. It's true. I know you're thinking why would a gorgeous girl like me have a care in the world? I should be sun-tanning on my wealthy boyfriend's yacht off the coast somewhere. And I couldn't agree with you more. Believe me. But I'm not just the most beautiful kunoichi in Konohoa, you know. I've got brains too. And because I am awesome, I am also a bit of a philanthropist."

Petal, I'd like you to meet the definition of modesty. Modesty? I'd like you to meet your apocalypse.

I mean SHEESH!

"If it helps out a fellow shinobi, then I would do it again in a heartbeat. Besides, what's a little harmless fibbing between friends? Right Stag?"

She didn't wait for an answer. And with that she and Wings laughed their way out of the room leaving Stag and I staring after them.

As you know, DJ, I am the last person to make judgements on someone's character (shut up). But lemme say it.

She may be loud, materialistic and bossy. But you gotta admit it:

The girl has got style.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	25. My Luck? Meet Murphy's Law

**Chapter Title**: My Luck? Meet Murphy's Law

**Word Count**: 1896

**A/N**: ._.

I got nothin'.

just read and hopefully enjoy.

*EDIT*: Ok guys. I won't be able to post tomorrow. It's going to be crazy and I won't be anywhere near a computer. So you guys are getting the next installment a little earlier than expected. :)

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

Stag and I are getting to know each other again.

You would think that Stag has changed into this romantic Prince Charming who serenades me with love sonnets and rose petals.

Uh. No.

As hilarious as that is in my head, Stag has not, is not and hopefully never will serenade me.

This is not to say that I wouldn't appreciate the gesture. I just don't think I could keep a straight face.

Don't know why I'm laughing, DJ? I'm thinking balconies, chicken legs, man tights, frilly collars and Stag.

My face is turning red just from the thought of it.

Anyway, Stag is still the same as he's always been. Just with a few...enhancements.

Enhancement #1: He smiles a lot more. It's not always that pinched look of concentration or the blank look of abject boredom on his face in the presence of others (aside from myself of course).

Enhancement #2: He stares a lot. When I tried to call him on it, he would vehemently deny it. I don't know whether it's because he's shocked at getting caught at it or what. But he'd still steal a glance at me afterwards with this silly grin on his face.

No DJ. I do not start blushing at that point... too hard.

Enhancement #3: He is not as opposed to PDAs as I originally suspected. He likes holding my hand when he walks me back in the inn. Whether we talk all the way there or not. I have to admit, I like it.

Enhancement #4: He's also taken up the habit of kissing me goodnight as well. And I like that too. I know DJ! Genius ideas are like that. When it rains...

Enhancement #5: He's been taking me on Stag's version of famous landscapes tour of Konahoa.

We've visited hillside forest overlooking the city to watch the sunset.

He told me that we would be going on **at least** one outing per visit. I've been really pre-occupied with Academy nonsense at the time and let slip out:

"Like a field trip."

He chuckled and said "No. Like a date."

I suppose that I should have felt like a dork. But his fingertips were tracing light patterns on my knee and he was whispering other stuff in my ear. Quite frankly, I was a bit distracted.

So I decided to return the favour and distract him. Hey DJ. He's not the only one who knows about diversionary tactics.

Enhancement #6: Remember how I said that Stag's not as averse to PDAs as I thought? Well, that characteristic came out like a neon sign this week.

We were taking our usual lunch break together and had just finished up a rather cute picnic his mom had packed for us. We were heading back when guess who we ran into?

Wolf, Fang and Shades.

We started talking about nonsense and other small talk when Stag draped a seemingly careless arm across my shoulders. It pulled me closer to him and although it seemed casual, his grip on me felt firmer than necessary. I didn't know whether to smile at the idiot or roll my eyes in annoyance at him.

Shades, ever the observant diplomat, kept his face passive and suggested that they were late in meeting up with Violet (who was waiting from them at Lady-sama's) and the three of them needed to get going.

Wolf wasn't so discreet and I caught him grinning as he's turned away. I have a feeling he was under the impression that someone was marking his territory.

Now DJ. I am a woman of the new millennium and my roar can probably be heard from the Lightening Country. But all I did was shake my head and walk in the opposite direction.

I couldn't say anything to the guy because I had stiffened up and hooked a finger onto one of Stag's pant belt loops when we ran into Petal early that week.

Shut DJ. Stop grinning like an idiot.

I couldn't help myself & I wasn't even thinking when I did it...

I'm just making it worse, aren't I?

I SAID STOP GRINNING.

Anyway, I thinking it would best for us to move on.

So I've been in the Leaf for a week and 2 days. It's been... surreal... or wonderful. Pfft. Whatever.

But since I am not Father Time, all good things must come to an end. I was beckoned back to the Sand poste haste.

And because Father Time is a cankerous old bastard, I wasn't summoned via Eagle messenger (or e-mail as the cool kids like to call it these days); I was ordered back in the worst possible way.

Gigi sent **_K_**.

And of course, K thought that his previous living arrangements, while he was here the last time, would be perfectly fine this time around.

Yeah DJ. **JUST** perfect.

According to the letter K gave me, Gigi said K volunteered to come & get me because he wouldn't shut up about it until he was allowed to go.

K said that he just wanted a break in the Academy monotony. I say it's because I was happy so K thought it was time that things had to change.

Much like the parasite he is, it feels like he has been stuck to my side. I have not had a moment to myself ever since he got here.

And **OF COURSE** since "Jounin" K has had time to improve himself as a shinobi, he decided to demonstrate his improved observational skills at random, unsolicited intervals by telling EVERYONE in our vicinity:

"T & Staaaag sittin in a tree..."

"You don't know? The reason why he keeps staring at you... You really don't know?! Whoa. ...He stares at you because you keep touching him. You don't even realize you're doing it, do ya T? Well stop. It's kinda creepy."

"My eyes are burning! AAHHHH!!! Quick! Someone grab me a bucket of acid so I can dunk my head in it! I saw them kissing! OH GOD! I THINK I SAW TONGUE!!!"

And then, of course, there were gems he would only disclose to me:

"Y'know...Stag smiles like a doofus. You think he's a friend of Mary Jane? ...Come to think of it, **YOU** have that look too! Listen. Either one of you 'introduces' me or I'm hauling both of your asses in for testing."

"T! WTF!?!? It's 3 in the morning! What are you doing?! How long have you been standing over me for?! And why are you holding your pillow like that?!?!?!"

Blah. blah. blah. HE WOULD NOT SHUT UP!!!!

Dammit DJ! I was sleep-walking! I cannot be held accountable when I am not conscious!

It was the longest 24 hours I have ever experienced.

I mean really DJ. What did I do to deserve this?

But the best (the **VERY BEST**) thing he did was when we were leaving. I was able to get a few hours with Stag alone (Kami-sama knows how that miracle happened) and I was thankful for it. When I got back to the inn, K kept his mouth shut and even had everything cleaned up by the time I got there. I should have seen it coming. This was the calm before the storm. But I was so preoccupied with the alone time with Stag that I even thanked that conniving jerk for it.

We were almost finished saying our goodbyes to everyone at the gates when K finally showed his true colours. I was saying goodbye to Stag. He mentioned quietly that he wished I could stay longer but somehow K heard that and came rushing over and said:

"Funny you should mention that. I'm sure it's going to be hard not seeing T every day, so I thought it would be really thoughtful of me to give you this to remind you of her."

He handed Stag a pic of me when I was about 13-14ish. I glanced at the picture and in that moment I knew K was going to die, because I was going to bury his ass. That pic was taken when I was really sick. I had stomach flu and was trying to force myself better with positive thinking and medicine that could knock out a herd of elephants. Regardless of the state of my health, K decided to be a rash and started to annoy the crap out of me by jumping on my bed, not letting me sleep and basically just by being himself (read: an annoying dipshit). I looked like death warmed over, groggy and loopy as hell (because of the drugs) and looking crazy because he took that picture when I was in the middle of yelling at him. My mouth was open, one of my eyes was half-closed but I still managed to look cross-eyed. I had dark circles under them and my hair was a hot mess. I was also wear the big, old ratty T-shirt of one of my favourite boy bands when I was younger and (apparently) tone deaf.

Yes. I said boy band.

I couldn't say anything. I was frozen in rage. Stag took one look at me and said "I don't think I could possibly keep this..." trying to be diplomatic as ever.

"No, no. I insist." K smiled. "Besides, I have hundreds of copies just for occasions like this."

I'm telling you DJ. If Lady-sama wasn't standing right there, I would have sent K back to the Sand with a one-way ticket on MLHA. That's right DJ. My Left Hook Airlines. How'd you know?

All I'm saying is that idiot better sleep with one eye open.

I know what you're thinking DJ. A 3 day journey through wooden terrain alone seems to be the perfect place, doesn't it? Wide open burial...uh....spaces, not-so-accidentally falling trees that can crush a man's bones....Bears, mountain lions and any creature that can tear a man's torso in half with its teeth. A dangerous, dangerous place. And best of all, no witnesses. But I think you're forgetting one minor detail. No alibis either.

And with what happened when we left Konohoa, I'm all motive and opportunity here. And that is not cute.

So I think it'd be best to wait. He is SO going to get his ass handed to him when we get home.

And with that wonderful prospect dancing around in my head, I bid you:

Goodnight DJ,

T


	26. You, me & Gigi

**Chapter Title**: You, me & Gigi

**Word Count**: 2547

**A/N**: "Isn't that easy anymore, is it?"

"Do you HAVE to sound that gleeful when you ask?"

"Well that's what you get for sitting on this for what??....a few months now?"

"Yes. THANK YOU. Explaining the straight-forward ALWAYS gets the creative juices flowing, Captain Obvious. I never realized how bitchy you can be. What's the matter? Only got 12 hours sleep last night? Did you lose another pawn piece? Your eyes look a little red and puffy..."

"I said that was a lie!"

"Sure it was. Because you've had such an amazing track record when it comes to that...."

"Why am I always the only one who has to fight girls?"

"Cuz you're just so damn cute when you cry. ...C'mon. Let's see those tears, Johnny Crybaby. ...Wha?...Where'd he go?"

Anyway, R&R guys. And enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

I'm sorry it's been a couple of weeks.... ALRIGHT ALREADY! It's been a few months. Shoot me.

My explanation is simple: The Academy. As soon as that dumbass brother of mine & I came back we had to hit the ground running. What was left on the Academy to-do-list was insane.

The first 3 months were crazy getting everything underway. And you can't forget the monthly trips to the Leaf. As a Sand Ambassador, I had to make sure that Momo & company's ties to the Sand remained intact. I'm always rushing around to make everyone happy.

I know. I'm such a giver.

Stag & I are still going strong. Although, in the past couple of weeks we haven't had the time to see other outside normal business hours which puts the suckage indicators on high alert. But that's all apart of our jobs lately.

Now, however, everything has pretty much found its groove & things are running as smooth as can be. All the teachers have gotten used to their lesson plans & students. And I haven't had to deal with a screaming parent in weeks.

Knock on wood, DJ.

Finally being in a comfortable position again, has given me plenty of time to think. And I can honestly say I missed Stag. A LOT. Is this normal? That I think of him all the time? That I imagine his reaction to things I would show him around here? That he's the first thing I think of when I wake up & the last thing I wish for when I go to sleep?

Calm down DJ. I told you the girly has been put on lockdown.

My classes are good. Gigi, K and I are all teaching. The first couple of weeks were a trip.

As expected, Gigi caused quite a stir the first day of classes. And ok. So he may have lost a student by the end of the first week....

WHAT? Like you never lost a set of keys before?

Shut up DJ. It is too the same thing.

I don't know what the big deal is. I mean he found her in one piece! AND!!! He brought her home in the same condition ...more or less.

Look. Those scratches and bruises could have been caused by anything.

RANDOM DJ! COMPLETELY RANDOM!

Besides, in some cultures, they could be considered badges of honour. ...I'm just saying.

The committee is chalking up the whole incident as an impromptu field trip. The majority of parents grumbled about it at first but agreed in the end.

What can I say? It's nice to have to Kage in one's back pocket.

After that, everyone wanted into one of Gigi's classes.

Gigi: Kazekage, brother, protector and one BADASS sensei. :)

Both K & I never reached that kind of notoriety but we're ok with that. And Gigi, well, it's good to see people begin to realize who he really is. Anyway, it's been a while since we've had to deal with that hot mess...

In another interesting surprise side detail from that week, Stag & Petal popped by to visit during Gigi's spontaneous field trip. Lady-sama dispatched them along with a few other Leaf shinobi to hmmm...observe an excursion of this nature. I think it's because the Sand is playing around with the idea of creating a pre-Chuunin exam for untested Genin. And the Leaf shinobi were there because we wanted to share the process with them so they could create their own as well.

Anything for the Alliance DJ.

Now, since that's the story I'm going with, I'll say that one of the only bugs with it was that we may have been a little too gung ho about it. I'll admit it would have been better if we had a few more Sand shinobi from the get-go & the Genin in question wasn't as new to the Academy as she was. We wouldn't have needed the Leaf shinobi to help out as much.

Otherwise, disaster diverted plus no lives lost equals a spectacular preformance all around.

Stag and company had to leave right afterward so that's really all I had to say about it.

That is the story I'm going with. If you want another spin on it than don't read the Sunagakure Times.

Ok. so enough of that.

Blah. Grading papers. Blah blah. Parent-Sensei conferences. Blah blah blah. K pretending one of his students' mothers has a crush on him just to get some attention. Bleh.

Pathetic really.

I think we've hit the quota for shop talk for this letter, right DJ?

Moving on.

So things have been pretty tame on the home front as well. I had decided to take a bit of a break from the Leaf visit this week because really. Although, I miss him, I had been running myself ragged with everything and needed a weekend off.

This, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that Stag had told me that he would be on an assignment and wouldn't be there for my next visit.

What? I am allowed to get a weekend off, DJ.

I have plenty of things to do at home.

As a matter of fact, if you must know, aside from the stockpile of homework assignments that need to be graded & other Academy work, I have a HUGE to-do list to tackle.

I have been desperate to get some training under my belt. Teaching Genin how to hold a sword properly doesn't necessarily qualify as an adequately strenuous training session.

And I also have some silverware that needs polishing & literary classics don't read themselves, you know.

I'm just a worldly whirlwind-of-glamour kind of girl.

Don't get it twisted.

This is a military town. There's no room for egos. And every shinobi here knows how to be self-sufficient. And there is something very relaxing in washing dishes. Besides, I don't need maids to dust the furniture or reorganize my closet.

In fact, I banned anyone from entering my side of the palace. I like knowing that things are cleaned properly & I know where I put them.

...

So I'm a bit anal. It's SOOO not a control thing. I just like clean stuff. Is that such a crime?

Whatever.

Anyway.

I was puttering around not really talking to anyone. I had the radio on really loud and was in my own little world to be honest. I was enjoying myself (seriously) singing along with artists of forgotten but beloved songs from my past. But I was interrupted by an obnoxiously loud pounding on my door. I was annoyed, so obviously, it could be no one else:

"I SWEAR TO KAMI-SAMA K!! IF YOU ASK ME TO PULL YOUR FINGER ONE MORE TIME...Oh!"

You can imagine my surprise when I found Stag standing there looking as if he had knocked on the wrong door.

Both of stood there momentarily, shocked unable to say anything.

Look. I live in the village of the Sand. It is HOT here. I wasn't wearing a tank top & boy shorts to be provocative. It was just mid-afternoon. If we had one, you could fry an egg in the town fountain.

Yes DJ. That hot. But let's move on.

Stag was the first to recover, giving me the once over.

"Hi..."

"Hi...What...How....I thought...?"

He smirked as he drew closer. "Hi..." He said softly.

Not so fast there, hot stuff.

"I've think we've gone over that." I leaned away from him, against the door as I smirked back at him. "I thought you were on assignment?"

He shrugged. "I am. I just thought I'd take a detour first."

That was unexpected. "Your dedication astounds me. How did you get in?"

"T. I'm a Leaf shinobi who specializes in Covert Ops." He said as if the answer was obvious. "I went through the front gate."

"Oh. Of course."

"So...are you gonna let me in?"

"No."

He looked shocked.

"You can let yourself in." I called over my shoulder as I went to turn off the radio.

No DJ. It wasn't because he could watch me walk away.

I told you the radio was loud. I could barely hear myself think.

...

Shut up.

Anyway, when I turned back to face him he was heading straight for me. He swept me up in his arms and kissed me like he hadn't seen me in over a month.

It had been ...oh. Let's see... 10 days.

Huh. I guess he thought the radio was loud too.

No DJ. I wasn't blown away from the kiss. I just didn't feel I needed to move any part of my body at the moment. But Stag let me go and made his way to my couch. He sat down stretching out his form leisurely. He took a casual look around but the look in his eyes clearly said "Yeah...I know."

Well. Two can play at that game. That loosened my limbs again.

"So you just decided to waltz through the front gate, huh? I'm gonna have to talk to the guards about letting the riff raff in." I smirked at him.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Now come over here. I haven't seen you in forever."

And you wonder why I sashay.

I sat down and we began talking about his journey, my week at home and perhaps even not talking at all.

We had just finished not talking and I was going to tell him we had to settle him in when:

"T, your door was unlocked. Tell me. Why are we humouring K's finger pulling trick? He just let out the most foul... OH!"

Gigi stood in the middle of my living room shocked at the situation unfolding before him.

DJ? Have you ever been caught in a silence that freezes your very soul?

...Yeah.

I was never so happy to hear K's voice.

"GIGI! I **SAID** I WAS SORRY! THOSE HOT PEPPERS I HAD FOR LUNCH REALLY... what the hell?!"

Why did modesty only hit me now?

...At least they didn't catch us kissing. But it didn't lessen the feeling that we were trapped in a still-shot from a horror movie.

Stag, again, was the first on the uptake. He surprised me by getting up, walking straight up to Gigi and said:

"Hello Kazekage. I'm glad to see you looking well. I had just arrived in town and ran into T on my way to see you..."

So I'm a detour now, am I? Wait. Does that mean...?

He explained that since I was the Leaf Ambassador, it only made sense to see me first as a diplomatic/professional courtesy. He began talking in intelligently and politely. He mentioned that the Hokage had sent him here. He talked to the point where you could almost forget that I was nearly in my skivvies.

Gigi seemed placated. He remembered a pressing matter that he needed to attend to.

"I'm glad to hear that T's work is so efficient and that the Alliance ties remain as robust as ever. But Stag, if you would excuse T. I need to speak to her privately before I leave. K will get you settled in...the southern wing." He murmured to K.

THE SOUTHERN WING?! That's at the opposite end of the palace!!

Stag didn't drop a beat. "Oh, of course. Thank you Gigi-sama."

And he followed K out. Although K had remained silent during the conversation, he watched it hawkishly. When he finally decided to add his two-cents, he said "Nice lip-gloss."

The cool-as-a-cucumber facade faltered and Stag hurriedly wiped his mouth before I had a chance to tell him I was wearing clear lip balm.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. Let's go Playboy."

Gigi rolled his eyes. But I was still unable to move.

Kazekage or not, Jinchuuriki or not, I'm still the eldest. I will not be treated like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Gigi held up his hand before I had a chance to say anything.

"T. I realize that you are an adult. You are a tough kunoichi whose advice I hold in the highest regard and has influenced my decisions on many occasion. You're one of the best shinobi I know. I've relied on you to go on life-threatening missions countless times. And you were even the one who took care of me when everyone else was too terrified to do it. It's not that I don't trust you..."

Is that a pout?

"...It's just that things have changed. Father is gone. I'm Kazekage now. And you know that I've changed and that I'm trying. Notwithstanding of these ever changing times, you are still my sister. And I am still Suna's guardian. It's my job to take protect of you no matter how unnecessary seems to be."

Awww! Dammit DJ! Why did he have to go & do that for?

"I know I'm being selfish. But I'm asking this of you for my peace of mind."

He leaves me defenseless!

I had to take a deep cleansing breath to clear my head.

"Gigi..."

He didn't say anything. He just stared at me with those alarmingly pale green eyes of his.

Although the motivations behind it were different, the end result is always the same:

I can never say no to Gigi.

"Oh. Alright, Gigi. Fine." I said shaking my head.

"Good." He was unsurprised but became more relaxed. "And uh...I can't believe I have to tell you this but...uh...could you put some pants on?"

I know. I couldn't believe it either. That condescending little...

"Brat!" I said half outraged, half amused.

"No. It's pronounced 'Yes, Kazekage.' ...See you in the morning, T." He smirked before he strolled out my door.

Uh oh.

I think I've created a monster.

Goodnight DJ,

T


	27. He proposes

**Chapter Title**: He proposes

**Word Count**: 2211

**A/N**: Guys. I know what I'm doing for the next chapter I've got a "outline" for it and everything. It's just putting these two into a position where it makes sense that the follow the outline is what's puzzling me. I don't know how to go about it. Mind. by the time I post this, I'll have worked it out by then. Alright enough stalling:

On with the show. :)

And as always R&R.

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

Stag's still in the Sand. Apparently the mission he was sent on was as Ambassador to the Sand. Sometimes I almost have to pinch myself to make sure it's real. During our downtime, I've taken him to all the local hot spots around here. Which, in retrospect, isn't as bustling or vibrant has the Leaf's, but it still put a smile on his face regardless.

Although the catcalls from the barracks made blush slightly he still didn't take his hand away from mine as we walked through there. As the week wore on there was still so much more I wanted to show to him so much for us to see.

But the majority of the time was spent in meetings with Gigi & whatnot. Plus K & I had to pick up the slack for Gigi's classes.

It was near the end of his visit that Stag was able to get an evening off.

Thankfully enough for him, I was able to pencil him in.

We had a quiet dinner together. And I was able to finish my walking tour of Downtown Sunakagure. It was a brisk night. The wasn't a cloud in the sky and all you could see the stars.

Too bad the noise from the market and local watering hole just added to the ambience. There's nothing quite like:

"AND DON'T COME BACK TILL YOU LEARN HOW TO HOLD YOUR LIQUOR!! UMIKO! MOP THIS MESS UP! HE GOT IT EVERY DAMN PLACE!! WHAT'S THAT?! IT'S IN YOUR HAIR!?!?!?!"

That's really set hearts a flutter, no?

Anyway, on our way back to the palace, we ran into one of my students as we were passing the market. After exchanging pleasantries, she said she had a private question for me and looked at Stag expectantly.

Yuki had a personal question. She blushed & said she had a question about boys. I think she came to find me because not because she had seen Stag & I together, but because it's only her father, baby her brother & her. She came to me for advice as an older worldly & sophisticated woman.

I don't know what she was thinking either, DJ.

Anyway, he took the hint and excused himself to look at the merchandise displayed on the nearby vendors' stands.

Normally, I would have gone into full-on "Mama knows" mode but I couldn't concentrate. There's a look in his eye that I can't quite place. He had approached a jewellry stand. He asked the jeweller a couple of general questions. The jeweller was smiling broadly and gesturing a lot to the ring section. Quite frankly, I was getting nervous. All I could think of was:

_**What's with talking to jewellers in front of me?**_

_**Is...Is he thinking...?!?! **_

_**Nah. That can't be it. It just can't be.**_

_**Stag is great and all but this is going WAY too fast.**_

_**Is this the Leaf way to take whatever this is between us to the next level?**_

_**Oh shit T! Focus! He's leaving already. Be cool! Don't judge. Maybe this is how they roll in the Leaf. Maybe he was looking for a present for his mom or something.**_

_**Be cool.**_

I gave Yuki some random, generic advice about being herself and she should make sure this boy will treat her right before sending her on her way.

I know. I'll make it up to her later.

I hurried after him. Not on bated breath.

Stag, on the other hand, seemed to have forgotten the entire incident and made no mention of it at all.

We had walked back to the palace. We were sitting for a moment, enjoying the relative quiet & each other's company. It was nice.

We were taking a break from talking. I had closed my eyes leaned back against the palace wall; smiling as his thumb lazily started stroking mine as we held hands. We stayed like that for a few moments before:

"T? Look at me. I wanna ask you something. It's important."

"Hmmm?" As I turned my head toward him.

"I've had a great time with you tonight. In fact, I have a great time with you anytime we're together. I think you do to. I also know that I ...like you... a lot. I don't really wanna leave this place without you. And granted, I know I'm greedy & want to have you all to myself, but I have to ask you now before it's too late for both of us..."

What???

What is he saying? First the jewellers & now this? Is he saying what I think he's saying?!

"So will you come away with me?"

It sounds so romantic doesn't it? I have to admit, in terms of the slick factor, Stag knocked it out of the park.

"It's kinda sudden don't you think? I'm flattered & all but don't you think it's a bit early for all this?"

It's hot out here. Did it just get warm here DJ?

"T, what are you talking about? We need you at the Leaf. We need to get everyone ready. The Chuunin exams are around the corner. I thought I'd ask you to help out first since you're already coming to them anyway. Maybe I could persuade you to come a little earlier than the actual exams?"

Well, OF COURSE that's what he was talking about, DJ. I mean, duh.

Anyway, after I refrained from knocking him in the teeth for getting me all riled up for nothing. I agreed to go. I mean, it's not like I have anything to do here now do I?

He best appreciate this.

You thinking love sonnets & man tights too?

Yeah. Good call. The boy's gotta start somewhere.

Anyway, the next day we spoke to Gigi about the proposal.

Since he had finished with the Alliance meetings, it was back to business as usual and Gigi had resumed his classes.

We were able to catch him at the end of the day, standing outside the Academy waiting for all the parents to pick up their kids. He was in conversation with a messenger shinobi. Even though his eyes darting towards the children ever once and a while, the conversation seemed a pretty intense. But I suppose that goes with the territory of being Gigi.

I spotted K there as well & made way over to him to give Gigi some time to finish his mini briefing.

K, Stag & I were shooting the breeze, when K's posture stiffed considerably. The expression on his face changed to the same expression he made when he had to have "the birds & the bees" talk with Gigi . He was staring at something behind me I would have laughed at him because that face is hilarious but my curiousity got the better of me. I turned to see what he was staring at.

A pretty woman was making her way over. She looked younger at a distance but that closer she got you knew that a life lived was screaming from her pores & faint lines around her eyes.

I turned back to ask him what he was staring at. He was about to respond when the woman waltzed right past him. Didn't even spare us a glance.

For some odd reason, K relaxed visibly and said it was nothing and immediately began telling us about this funny story about Iki and some committee members.

He was just about to get to the good part when the same woman from before quietly walked up behind K, got almost flush against him and murmured in his ear:

"Happy Birthday sensei."

I had never seen K jump that high in my life. I would have laughed under normal circumstances but this woman fascinated me more.

I had to school my expression in to innocent indifference. It could just be nothing more than my overactive imagination or maybe… I can't think about it DJ. My heart can't take it.

Kyoko introduced herself to Stag & I before turning to K saying

"Toushiro said that his class just found out that your birthday had just passed. You should have told me K-sensei. I would have done something …special for you if I had known."

DJ. Why was I wanted to laugh hysterically at K's expression but hurl at the same time?

Hmmm. On second thought, let's not go down that spiral.

"Miyagi-san. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, but that's highly unnecessary…"

"Nonsense. It's not everyday that one celebrates their …16th birthday?" She said somewhat questioningly.

"No. It was my 18th." K said automatically without thinking.

I knew immediately he regretted saying it from the grimace that crossed his face. And, of course, from the wide smile that bloomed on hers.

For some unknown reason, I had the overwhelming urge to hurl again and wondered where the laughter had gone to. Apparently, Stag had it because he refused to look at me and had this pinched expression on his face like he was trying very hard not to smile.

"Good to know." She said softly, almost to herself. "Well, Toushi & I must get going. Nice to meet you." She said briskly to Stag & I smiling as she did so. She turned back to K. "And it's always great talking to _you_ K-sensei."

Then she walked away leaving Stag & I staring at K expectantly.

"NOT. ONE. WORD." K started, before I could even contemplate the wonderful and yet terrible possibilities that now lay before me. The whole thing was not unlike getting a tiny hand sponge to soak up all the water in Sea Country.

You understand my speechlessness. My head was going to explode.

Stag was about to open his mouth but decided against it because K looked like he was going to snap.

Thankfully enough, Gigi had finished his conversation and made his way over to us. He had Kazekage business on the brain.

"Hi you two. What are you guys doing here? Aren't you suppose to be packing soon or taking in some last minute sights?" He asked Stag.

"Well, there was something we needed to run by you first..." Stag began but Kazekage-Gigi cut him off.

"Is this about T leaving for the Leaf again? Yes. That's fine. I got a letter from the Hokage last night explaining everything. And I told you once before a long time ago that it was fine T. Just let me know when you're leaving."

Wow. Way to make a girl feel needed at home Gigi.

"This is just like any other Leaf trip. And besides, I would prefer to pay the Hokage back for the last time she sent the Sand a helping hand."

Ah. Alright. So it would be safe to say I'm good enough to replace at least 7 Leaf shinobi.

...Hey. These are his words not mine, DJ.

Anyway, with that settled Stag & I were about the head off when Gigi spoke again.

"It looks like the delegates from the Grass Country are arriving earlier than expected. I want to go over that policy proposal with you one more time before they arrive."

Although he had been complaining about Gigi's constant reminders of this last week, K smiled relieved that the topic was no longer focused on his birthday.

Gigi nodded, turned to walk away but paused and said "Also, make sure you take a shower before they get there."

K looked puzzled. He had been inside all day. There was no reason for him to be smelly (well…at least no more than usual).

Gigi glanced at us before saying simply:

"You stink like sex."

And in the moment I knew, somewhere, that an angel was getting his wings. DJ, I've never felt so proud.

I started laughing after I picked up my jaw from off the floor. Stag was about to join in but held back at the mortified expression on K's face.

"You've been sitting on that little gem for weeks." I guessed.

Gigi turned back to me and looking at me a bit confusedly and said

"And you haven't?"

…

Well. I'll be damned.

Out of the mouths of babes…

Goodnight DJ,

T


	28. Neptune's Daughter Remix

**Chapter Title**: Neptune's Daughter Remix

**Word Count**: 1700

**A/N**: "I'm a bit nervous about this one. It's the first one I've done of these..."

"Don't worry! It'll be great."

"Really?"

"Really." B]

"Thanks I..." *squinty!eye* "You haven't read it yet, have you?"

"Uh...No!"

"Awww. Temari, you only reason you like it because you end up getting..."

"C'mon Summer. Gimme a little credit."

"Ahh. Gotcha. You like it because I got Shikamaru to be..."

"You don't know me."

"Of course I don't. But that's why I like it too." =)

^3^

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

I can't chat long.

The time is currently 3:51am

Stag's eyes are still closed and his breathing is deep & even. So I think I got a little time. I just need to tell someone.

Oh. Don't worry. Everything's fine. More than fine. I'm not writing you while on a mission. Stag's on my couch.

He's not injured or in danger.

Well. As long as Gigi doesn't acquire the habit of turning into a sleep-walking murderer then we'll be just fine.

...

Um...

Nah! We should be fine.

Let me explain.

Today...technically yesterday was Stag's last day in the Sand. Since finishing with the Alliance business, Stag was suppose to head straight home. I was supposed to follow the next day after tying up some loose ends here.

But instead of tending to my last minute errands like a good kunoichi, I was totally sidetracked by all things Stag. It was a completely goofy, sweet day that seemed like a very long goofy, sweet day date. In other words it was perfect. By the end of it, Stag had to go, but I had other plans.

DJ. As a Sand Ambassador & now Sand sensei, I can't abide having our Leaf liaison leave on a long, hard three day journey when he hasn't rested properly. I think that may border on criminal negligence. I read it somewhere in the Wingman's Guide to Hosting.

Shut up. I did.

Anyway, I had persuade Stag to stop by my place to enjoy a bit a private time before he left that evening. I had manage to distract him enough so that he hadn't had time to finish packing and wasn't about to start at my place.

All a part of my brilliant plan.

We ran into some of the shinobi staying in the barracks this week. They had just invited Stag & I out for some drinks since they had just finished their shift. I was smiling at their conversation as we started to walk in the direction of the bar. But Stag pulled me back to him with a one arm hug. He pressed a kiss into my hair and said "I really can't stay."

I guess he couldn't ignore his departure time anymore.

I immediately called out to the guys and said that they should go on without us. I couldn't hear their response because there was a sudden cacophony of catcalls and whistles coming from that direction. But if the guys didn't hear me calling to them than they would have heard that.

Meh. They'll figure it out. I turned back towards Stag.

"Let's go up to my place before you go." I said slyly ignoring what he said in favour of watching the way his eyes widen slightly at what I suggested.

We get to my place. I began to unwind, putting down my fan, slipping out of my shoes when he said again that even though he's had a blast tonight, he really needed to go. He also mentioned something about the Hokage and worried pacing but I was more concerned with his hands. They wrapped around me from behind, gripping my forearms. His grip kept me flushed against him and unable to move. Not that I was complaining of course.

Huh. Maybe the romantic Prince Charming thing isn't so unbelievable anymore.

"Stag! Your hands are freezing! Could you please just stay here long enough so you can warm up a bit?"

To be completely honest, he didn't put up much of a fight. I think his conscience was fighting a losing battle with his overwhelming laziness. Three days is an awfully long time for a commute. He looked conflicted for a moment and then said

"Well, maybe just a half a drink more."

Yes!

It's all coming together DJ. It's all coming together.

Now I thought getting him to stay one more night would be in the bag. But apparently, Stag was thinking about something else entirely.

"Hey T. What's in this drink?"

I arched an eyebrow & smirked. What is he implying exactly? "This drink is hot cocoa & what's in it is called marshmallows. I can get a dictionary for you if..."

"...You're feisty at the end of the day..."

"Veiled and unfounded accusations tend to bring it out of me..."

"It's kinda hot."

"No Stag. It's not just at the end of the day. That's me normally." See DJ? I can take a compliment.

"I meant the drink."

Prince Charming has got nothing on Stag, DJ. Absolutely nothing.

"Oh come on. Don't look at me like that. I have to get going soon."

Oh yeah. Forgot about that. I walked over to the window. The wind had really picked up. A tell-tale sign DJ. Even Mother Nature herself wanted Stag to stay. I turned back trying hard not to smile too widely.

"Oh, no no no." He protested as soon as he saw my face. He made his way over to see what I was staring at. "I have to go..."

My hand slipped into his and I gently pulled him back towards the couch after he got a good look at what was making me smile.

Hey. There's no need to gape at the oncoming sand storm. Can't fight the inevitable. Might as well relax on the couch and be comfortable until it blows over, right?

Exactly.

I think Stag got the picture from clouded look on his face. But his face broke into a knowing smile when his eyes met mine.

"You know... Gigi saw me on our way up here..." As he sat down again. What is so amusing?

"Uh-huh." But Gigi's not really that important right now. Especially when Stag is smiling at me like that.

"And would it be that ridiculous for K to come here any minute and start pounding at your door."

"Really...?" I turned my head slightly to listen hard. "All I can hear is K's snore. It's past his bedtime." I wonder if he'd mind if I moved in a little closer.

Stag's smile became more pronounced slightly distracting from the task at hand. Then he said "Iki can be a menace..."

...Well maybe not.

I leaned in to kiss him. He tasted like cocoa. I stayed where I was but pulled back a bit to say

"Mmm. Your hot chocolate is delicious."

"Well, maybe I'll have one for the road." he said settling back into the couch cushions.

We didn't leave the couch. Time had just flew by. I don't know how it happened. But by the time we realized how late it was, we were stretched out on the couch together with our legs intertwined.

You can see why I felt like doing a victory dance. I was just too tired & too comfortable to move. I was just about to fall asleep when Stag nudged me and said again.

"I have to go home T."

That was it. I had had enough. No more messing around. I found my sweet spot, and I wasn't going to let it leave because he had to go home. I had to convince him to stay. It was too late to leave. Too bad a storm. Too comfortable a shoulder for a pillow.

I can be selfish too DJ. That's when we started talking. Too bad it seemed like two different conversations.

"Stag, you'll freeze out there."

"Then let me borrow one of your brother's coats."

"It'll be up to your knees out there."

"Look. I know you wanna stay like this..."

"You haven't stopped holding my hand." I also noticed that he didn't move for the last hour either.

"Well, I like it. But I see you're doing here."

"You can see what I'm doing, which is nothing by the way, but you can't see the massive sandstorm outside?"

"People are going to talk tomorrow."

"Since when do you care about 'talk'? Is this the first symptom of turning emo?"

"T, there's going to be plenty implied."

"Yeah. If you get hypothermia and died."

We both paused slightly confused and a bit apprehensive. Did I just rhyme my sentences with his?!

Quick! Give me a match. I need to burn anything pink, frilly or floral.

But Stag started speaking again.

"I really can't stay...."

"Then stop acting like a 12 year old girl."

"HEY!"

"Stag. It's late. There's a horrible sandstorm out there. And...Oh come on Stag. Do I really have to say it?"

The affronted expression on his face melted away leaving slowly blooming smirk in its place. "Say what?"

I gritted my teeth. I couldn't believe I was saying this, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I might as well accept it.

"Baby..." I said softly looking into eyes. I moved even closer and snuggled up close to him. He responded by wrapping his arms around me and our legs intertwined on the couch again. Sweet spot or no, Stag does know how to make a girl comfortable.

"It's cold outside."

The look on his face made me smile. Apparently, those weren't the 3 little words he was expecting.

But...funnily enough...that felt like the perfect thing to say.

Good morning DJ,

T


	29. The GiftGiver

**Chapter Title**: The Gift-Giver

**Word Count**: 2300

**A/N**: HAI EVERYWAN!

Surprise! Some of y'all must have thought I had died huh? And considering my work schedule I don't blame you. I know I'd said that I would be posting chapters on a weekly basis on the condition that I would have at least 5 chapters done pre-posting. But after my last post, I got a twitter from my muse that said:

**U must be crazy thinkin' u da boss of ME! #bitchplease**

Well, maybe it didn't go down EXACTLY like that. But you get what i'm saying.

I was being arrogant. I realize now that i'm completely at the mercy of my muse as we all are. But as you can see, my muse has been feeling a little frisky as of late. (You'll pardon me if i'm a little flustered.) I'm happy to report that I've got a few chapters in the pipes.

It has come to my attention recently, that some changes need to be done 'round here. So, I'm going to conduct a few experiments:

1. I know that some people have mentioned that some of the aliases are hard to remember. I understand. I know if I didn't write this, I would have forgotten what Shikamaru's alias is. My memory is that bad. So (to help a friend out) I added a Character Name Glossary to my profile page. If you're fuzzy on who's who then it'll be there for you. :)

2. The chapter format is changing. From now on, I'm not going to add any author's notes. Well, aside from this one. I like writing them (and some of you may like reading them) but I realize that they are self-indulgent on the part of the writer. And it can take away from the flow of the story. So we're gonna try something new. We'll see how long my willpower lasts. *bad feeling about this*

3. There are a few other things that I'm tinkering around with but don't have the patience or inclination to list them all here. All I'll say is that I'm working on (some of) them. Please have patience.

Lastly, I just want you to remember that this is an experiment. If you don't like it or (even better) have a suggestion, let me know.

Ok guys. With that out of the way, let me say for the final time ...R&R and Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer**: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

* * *

DJ,

Now, I am not one to brag about my family. Truth be told, there's no need for it. My father was (and now my baby brother is) Kazekage. So overstating the obvious is just an exercise in snottiness as far as I'm concerned.

But as legendary as my father was back in his heyday, the question of his "greatness" is still debated. In hushed tones of course. And NO body questions it in front of Gigi. It's a touchy subject (putting it mildly).

In terms of Gigi's current run as Kazekage, there's no debate needed. He's proven himself time and again. In the face of great difficulties and all the (now hypocritical) naysayers. And today he proved it once again.

I was completing the last of my errands before I was to leave for the Leaf. And optimistically speaking, I wanted to catch up Stag before long. Nothing gets fires lit like the possibility of uninterrupted alone time with Stag.

Anyway, I was passing by Gigi's office going over my packing list & mentally checking off items when he called me to join him. He looked quite pleased with himself. That got me interested. He told me wanted my opinion on something. I was thinking it was the new specs for the City-wide irrigation system he was thinking of proposing to the council.

You can imagine the overwhelming apprehension I felt when, instead of an official looking report, he handed me a present.

"What's this?" I asked him calmly.

"Well," He said with the quiet intensity he's become infamous for. "I wanted to know what you think."

**__****_PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE FOR ME. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE FOR ME. PLEASE, PLEASE __PLEASE_...**  


Here's the deal.

The journey to become Kazekage is long and difficult under normal circumstances as you might guess. But for Gigi there is no such thing as normal circumstances. Although, he has the Bijuu's strength, speed and abilities, he's also had to contend with its stigma as well. I won't go into specifics because that would take all year, but suffice it to say it wasn't easy. Most people just didn't trust him. He's been working really hard to become the person he was meant to be. And I think that has a lot of it has to do with his realization that he, in fact, can change & change the way people see him.

Who knows where he gets these nutty ideas from?

Anyway, the gift-giving came from this epiphany. He told me he was working through some sort of 12-step program. I think he got that idea from one of the self-help books K loves so much.

He said that one of the steps involved apologizing to everyone that's been negatively affected by his behaviour. Now, in theory, this could work. It teaches the person about accountabilty and all kinds of good/helpful stuff.

But this is Gigi. He somehow got it into his head that the apologies had to morph into some sort of thoughtful and (sometimes) homemade gifts. Again, in theory this should have worked. But it's Gigi. Jinchuriki Gigi. socially-inept Gigi. Bordering on Aspergers Syndrome Gigi. So gifts from Gigi mean giving an esteemed elder swimming trunks covered ducks & hearts or buying a whoopee cushion to a dignitary because "we shared a laugh."

You can see both the hilarity and tragedy in these gifts, don't you DJ?

Looking back on it now, his heart-breaking naivety/awkardness & the fact that no one has ever called him on it makes him either the GREATEST straight man to all of shinobi-dom or the most socially awkward Jinchuriki to have ever existed.

But at the time, we were all terrified. We all thought this was the last pitstop on the way to Crazyville. Then he was going to relapse and take all of us with him.

Of course, no one told him this. The reason why no one called him on it (quite frankly) was because what do you say to the (albeit) _formerly_ sadistic, maniacal psychopath with a penchant for a particularly disturbing brand of violence?

Anyone who came into contact with Gigi back then was told not to make eye contact, agree to whatever he wants & then wait til he passes.

This was the paraphrased blanket statement I've given over the years. No one questioned it mainly because it worked. Problem was: It didn't anymore. Gigi would not move away until you looked him in the eye and then he'd smile. The first time this happened, the shinobi in question was trembling and near tears after it was over.

For a little while, you could not meet a Sand nin who wasn't carrying around an empty brown paper bag. If you ever asked them about it, the shinobi(s) in question would suddenly become shifty and say evasively: "Just in case."

It's a brave new world, DJ.

I think they were being a tad overdramatic. Only a few of them hyperventilated and I think it because they were recent Genin or Chuunin. So it's understandable, I suppose.

Now can you imagine the reactions when he started the gift-giving?

All of this was going through my head as I stared down at the neatly wrapped package in front of me.

"I was thinking about giving this to Yoko & K..."

A tidal wave of amused curiosity replaced my anxiety as I lifted the box cover.

"I even started it." He said with a tentative smile and nodded encouragingly as I picked up the gift to exam it more thoroughly.

_**I don't CARE if they crack. They're just ribs. Don't laugh dammit. DO NOT LAUGH!**_

I took a couple of steadying breaths. I had to play this carefully.

"It's ... wonderful." I choked out. I hoped my face wasn't as red as I imagined.

"Yeah? You really think so?" He asked it with such sincerity that I began to doubt his intentions.

"Uh..."

"I want to give it them at the same time. I think it'd be better that way because I'd get to see their reactions."

See what I mean? I can't gauge him. But for Gigi's sake, we needed to air on the side of caution.

I told him that it was a great idea. I was about to suggest both of us giving gifts and then switching my (more Kazekage-appropriate) gift with his but a messenger rushed in.

The gift evaporated somehow. Gigi was sitting, cool as a cucumber, at his desk staring expectantly at the messenger. Our conversation had been cut short and I had been dismissed.

Now DJ, don't start. In my defence, I had a very long list and I was in a hurry. And I didn't know when he'd be finished or when he would be presenting this blessing to Miyagi-san. I decided that I would finish off the rest of my errands and pick up "Gigi's" gift as well. Once I was done, I'd see if I could catch him before I left for the Leaf.

Anyway, I had completely forgotten about Gigi's BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT gift until I saw a group of nin surrounding K, Yoko & Gigi. Then I saw something that made me run. Iki was near tears.

Uh oh. This can't be good.

Apparently, not being one for big gestures, Gigi decided to give his gift to the happy couple at the gates since he was also seeing off several shinobi cells going on various missions. But because Sand Nin are beyond mere mortals, they were able to get to the core of the matter in under 30 seconds flat.

A crowd of completely silent Sand Nins can be very intimidating as you may well be aware, DJ. But this group was different. There were tell tale signs.

Normally, Sand Nins surrounding a target are taught to do it stealthily and keep weapons in hand. And above all remain strictly focused. But this group...It reminded me of the "JI-RI! JI-RI!" incident. The crowd was in plain sight & instead of holding their weapons, they were holding onto their stomachs or (more alarmingly) onto each other.

Yoko had opened the present with K being frustratingly stymied at his attempts to make a quick getaway. The way she was going on about it made me realize that not only was she's a concerned mother & committee member but also a consummate performer.

For what it's worth K acted like everyone was invisible or perhaps that he was.

"A Book of Us!" Iki wheezed under his breath. "He got them a Book of Us!"

_**EMORI'S TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT...KITTENS BEING SKINNED ALIVE...K IN HIS TIGHTY WHITIES... **_

_**SHIT! IT'S NO USE! I'VE SEEN WHAT'S CONTAINED IN THOSE PAGES!**_

Gigi looked around confused.

**T! Get it together. Your brother needs you.**

But Yoko got there first.

"Kage-sama, Thank you for giving this to us. We'll be sure to fill it with wonderful memories. Suna is truly blessed to have such a thoughtful and compassionate leader."

K looked like he was about to explode. So it was time to step in.

"Well said, Miyagi-san. I would have never expected this _**before**_ you became Kazekage, Gigi. I'm sure K appreciates your efforts, right K?"

His pinched pained expression changed to calm indifference the instant Gigi's eyes turned towards him.

"Of course I do, T." It sounded like every word was a struggle.

"Really? Does that mean you'll be filling it out?"

"I think that's a _**GREAT**_ idea." I heard myself say with a smile. But I had to close my eyes when I thought I heard Iki snort.

**I can't make eye contact with Iki. If I do, then it's all over.**

"I don't have anything to write with..."

"You can borrow mine..." Iki said as he FINALLY stepped forward.

**Thank you Kami-sama.**** Just don't look at him. Do not look at him.**

Instead I looked at Gigi & Yoko. Their eyes & smiles widen in surprised pleasure.

K looked like he was going to kill us. "I don't know what to say."

"Just say what's in your heart. I'm sure you've had plenty of practice. Isn't that from your favourite self-help book? What's it called again?"

At that point, I think every 1 out of 5 Nin started breathing into paper bags.

"No More Pity Parties." Iki said without batting an eye.

Let me correct that. Now it's 1 out of 3 nins.

But then he turned to me. "Shame on you, T. How could you forget? He's mentioned it 50 times already."

When K's face had turned the same colour as his old uniform, Gigi decided it was enough.

He turned towards the remaining cells (who lost the levity at once) and started giving last minute instructions about their missions & requesting that they finish their assignments within 2 weeks. It took a few minutes but the cells were able to get themselves sorted before they scattered in all directions.

I noticed no one was making eye contact with K or Gigi for that matter. And I don't blame them. I made my way over to Gigi and told him I was going to leave as well. He nodded but something else was clearly on his mind. He asked:

"You don't think I was too abrupt, do you?"

"No. You were fine. It was a little odd that you would put a deadline on the missions but I suppose everything else was business as usual."

"T, How else will they get back in time to hear K read his first entry in the Book of Us?" His pale green eyes were calm and carried no hint of sarcasm in them.

Like I said DJ. The world's most oblivious & misguidedly sweet person the world has ever known or the GREATEST straight man to ever exist.

Someone's going to have to talk to him...

Don't you go looking at me, DJ.

I'll get K to do it.

Or I'm reading the Book of Us to the entire barracks once it's completed...

Or I could make copies of embarrassing pages and post them in other towns for random nins and citizens to find them & then wait for the fireworks...

Or I could buy copies of the Book of Us and give it to anyone he has a relationship with. The Lieutant General for example...Every one of the councillors... EVERY nin who's every come in contact with K...

Forget Gigi. Maybe I'll do it because it's my duty as an older sister.

OH just think of the possibilities!

They're ENDLESS!

Goodnite DJ,

T


	30. He's just not that into you

DJ,

Why am I always the one who has to deal with the crazies?

Case in point: my assigned Genin squad.

I came to the Leaf with our Sand candidates in final prep for the Chuunin Exams before the actual event. It had been decided that both the Leaf & Sand Genin would go through a trial run of sorts to see who were the front runners going into the exam.

Rumors of up and comers or even dark horses are one thing. But proving your strategy is REALLY 200 moves ahead is quite another. (Shut up).

Anyway, through some sort of divine intervention, the top brass decided to change it up for this year by assigning each of the chuunin of one village to the Genin squads from the other village. Personally, I welcome the challenge. Not only because we got to scope out the competition earlier than expected, but i was also confident that our Sand Genin were top-notch and could handle anything we threw at them with style.

I know what you're thinking, DJ.

It wasn't cheating. Cheating would imply that the genin were shown the layout of the land beforehand. None of the genin saw the Forest of Doom or any of the other Chunin Testing grounds. This was just a friendly competition...along with some friendly betting among the older Chuunin (as is tradition).

We met the Chuunin hopefuls. The Genin were divided into cells and introduced to their respective Chuunin. As this was done to get a feel for the candidates and to see who were the best and brightest. And if that helped the Chuunin betting pool, so be it.

Hey! It's not gambling if research is involved first. Educated guesses separate us from the animals, DJ.

Now I know you're excited to know which Genin were in my assigned cell. And I was a little pumped up to see them too. But that was before I met them. Two of the Genin were fine, but Kami-sama Almighty, Nanako was the third. Do you remember Nanako? That random, Post-Op transgender vampire skank...excuse me... random who leaned towards cackling like a hyena and (apparently) Stag.

Memory bells are going off like rockets aren't they DJ? Yeah. I couldn't remember her either. But Nanako seemed determined to remind me in her own way. As soon as I saw her, I brushed off any of my womanly intuitions since I was briefing the other Genin on the objectives and explaining that my accompaniment was only as an observer. I was surprised to see her, but most likely not as much as Stag's going to be when I tell him.

Not now of course. That information should be handled delicately & tactfully...And when I...um...**HE** needs to hear it.

Don't look at me like that DJ. Like you wouldn't do the same thing.

Never mind. Maybe she started late.

Anyway, I wasn't looking for a fight. As you are well aware, shiniobi like myself are above those petty squabbles but some people just don't know when to leave well enough alone. Nanako was antagonistic from the get-go. I thought her wooden stiffness was due to getting a horrible night's sleep. But when I felt her eyes on me long after the briefing, I knew something would come out eventually.

It did. But not in an explosive sort of way, although just as obvious. It was done thru Girl-ese. Instead of completing her part of the assignment immediately, Nanako would linger a few moments to ask stupid questions like:

"Is this a recognizance mission? Or are we just taking something that isn't yours?"

What did Stag say to her?

"Do shinobi who parade around as pseudo-royalty use a transformation jutsu or is that more a vision of grandeur...err genjutsu?"

Oh yes she did DJ.

I can't remember all her not-so veiled references to the Masquerade Ball; but I remember feeling...

No. Not a rage blackout. I felt almost disengaged...maybe even a little bit bemused. But any kunoichi ...um girl worth her sugar and spice would know what she was getting at.

"I like the assignment. And I think it's a good fit. Compatibility is everything nowadays. You should know since I'm sure you OBVIOUSLY must have led many, many, MANY others by now."

_**Oh hold on chicklette. Don't go breaking out of that shell before you're ready. You may hurt yourself.**_

I smiled. "Yes. Yes I have and still do. Now fall into formation."

She seemed stymied that I wasn't rising to the bait, but I think she realized that she (and her increasingly aggravated teammates) had more important issues to deal with.

Somehow, they were able to get thru the trial run. By the end of it, I was growing bored with her attitude and I know her teammates wanted to wring her neck. They had nearly failed their assignment because of Nanako's shenanigans. DJ, you would have been so proud of me, I didn't have to say a word to her about it. The other Genin blasted her mid-way through the assignment and she was able to get it together. Thank goodness. By the time we got back to base, her teammates had somewhat cooled down. Although, they still weren't speaking to her. Before I could get everybody back on the same page someone else caught my attention.

"As I recall, someone owes me a back rub and a dinner at the Oak Door."

I sighed. A bet is a bet yet...

I guess he saw the disappointment on my face because he pull me aside and said quietly "Tell you what? Why don't you just polish my favorite kunai and we'll call it even."

I glanced at the candidates to see if they were listening to this embarrassing request, and of course, they were. I felt my face grow hot. Stag paused momentarily surprised and said

"Look at it! It needs it!"

My barely concealed panic melted away to relief when he took out an actual kunai. It had fingerprints all over it, the tape on the handle had started peeling & was looking rather dull and pathetic.

My relief turned to chagrin when I saw that he pursed his lips like he was trying very had not to laugh. But he put an arm around my waist and said into my hair, "That was great, T. How about we forget about the bet altogether, and you just come over to my house later and we'll watch The Notebook."

I HAVE THE BEST B-...Stag's pretty cool.

I smiled in spite of myself. "Thanks."

Y'know DJ. It's thinking like that that might get him a back rub anyway.

He winked at me before he left to attend his group of Genin, leaving me to deal with mine.

Nanako was staring at me like she had heard every word and didn't any of it.

_**You heard that but you didn't hear your teammates screaming at you to grab the scroll?**_

"He's really into you." she said it like she was confirming my coup de grâce on her epic battle royale.

"We're really into each other." I corrected her feeling far more smug about it than the situation warranted.

She stared at me for a moment longer before she nodded and said a bit apologetically "I guess you are."

I think that was the closest I'll get to an apology. ...Uh. oh. I'm running late...

And considering everything, I really am fine with that. :)

Goodnite DJ,

T


	31. Hat Trick

DJ,

I know he's a good man. And I know he's a loyal friend...but after today...

Let me explain.

Stag & I had finished our morning of the Chuunin Exam trial run results meeting and we were enjoying a relaxing lunch in the Marketplace before I was to escort the Genin back home. Anyway, The waiter had just cleared our plates and we were waiting for the check when the entire restaurant went deathly quiet.

I thought it was because someone farted loudly or something; but I was wrong. It was sooo much worse (or amazing if you go by what Stag says).

Much like rabbits who feel the footsteps of a hunter long before they see him, the restaurant patrons looked about nervously & ready to bolt at the slightest provocation.

"What is that?" I turned to see what Stag was asking about.

Stag appeared to be straining his ears. And then I heard it too. It sounded like Apocalypse and it was heading directly for us.

We were sitting in a circular booth where I sat next to edge for easy access to the bathroom. I was still trying to figure out what was the noise was when Stag started to nudge me to get moving. The nudging became increasingly urgent the closer the noise became.

I was about to tell him to calm down when the Hurricane hit.

"WINGS, HE KNOWS THIS CAN'T BE REDONE TIL NEXT YEAR! I. AM. GOING. TO. RIP. HIS LUNGS. OUT!"

Uh oh.

I turned around to ask Stag what Petal was screaming about. But the expression on his face could only be described as resigned acceptance. Then he held his hand and said with a relaxed smile: "In 3...2..."

"WHERE ... I'M GOING TO _**KILL**_ YOU!"

"Whoa Petal. Slow down! What's going on? What happened?"

Why did Wing's facial expression look like a cross between carefully arranged neutrality & open-mouthed disbelief?

Ok. Now the alarms are on high alert.

"THIS! THIS. IS. WHAT. HAPPENED!"

Petal brandished a manila envelope in front of my face. So I took the envelope and shook out what was inside.

At that precise moment, both Wings & Stag turned their heads away from what I hypnotized by.

It was Petal's new Medic Nin ID Badge. But sweet Kami-Sama! What was that picture?

Now, let me back track for a moment. I've seen pictures of Petal. And what I've gathered from them is that Petal has 'go-to' pose or what I like to call: "DatzHawt"

Don't look at me like that, DJ. The name is appropriate and the girl always looks great.

Anyway, the ID pic was decidedly different. Petal was dressed up as the back half of some four legged animal. It looked like she had just detached from the front half of the costume. Her hair was a mess, her face was all red from being inside that costume & her facial expression looked midway between a sneeze and biting the head of whomever was taking the picture.

And Dat DJ iz (definitely) NOT Hawt.

"Oh."

**I couldn't laugh. I couldn't laugh.**

In my silence, Stag filled in the blanks. Apparently, he had been nagged into dropping off the Na...la medical encyclopedia at L2's house for studying purposes. L2 invited him for tea. Drinks were made. Biscuits were eaten. Accusations were veiled. Stories were exchanged. Albums were shown.

Bing Badda Boom: Geniuses were eviled.

I know what you're thinking DJ. And you're partially right. All this nonsense was in retribution. But not for wonderful rooftop confessionals. Stag got L2 to admit that Petal may have regaled her (among other people) with Stag's more ...uh... interesting stories. Of course, these stories were not supposed to be in-circulation. But Petal (being Petal) didn't read the fine print.

I couldn't believe it. Not only had Stag got Petal back for babbling about all his embarrassing secrets, he never mentioned the fact that he was on the Hokage's rooftop with me the night he came back to the Leaf!

I know. He's a little _**too**_ good.

"What are you complaining for? The picture is fine. It's the way most people see you anyway."

Stop asking ridiculous questions, DJ. He's a genius, and clearly, he's found a very efficient way to dig his grave without one.

At that point, it was obvious to all of us that Petal was past words because several things happened at once:

Wings, sensing immediate & violent danger, stepped forward to place a conciliatory hand on Petal's arm. This was good because she was about to make a flying leap towards the booth. Stag (for reasons he has yet to explain to me) ducked out of the line of fire, taking yours truly with him.

Now as much as I normally enjoy lying down with Stag hugging me tightly, I am a bit perturbed as to why I was lying on top of him (protecting him) instead of vice versa.

This guy who had his face buried in the crook of my neck didn't seem like the guy I knew AT ALL.

What was going on here?

Finally becoming aware of the scene she was causing, Petal angrily grabbed her belongings, shrugged off Wings' hand and growled (almost beneath her breath):

"You want a war, funny man? You'll get one."

And then she stomped off red-faced and seething.

Wings stayed behind a moment waiting for Stag and I to come out of hiding. And when we finally did, he said one word:

"**DUDE.**"

With that single syllable, Wings was able to convey all the things that needed to be said about this entire fiasco.

It was well put in my opinion.

"C'mon." Stag countered in that indecipherable boy vernacular. Boy-speak can be so mystifying sometimes. It was an obviously very convincing counter argument however. Wings pursed his lips and gave us a look that clearly said this raging debate was far from over. But the startled cries of frightened children & property being destroyed made it obvious that his lady was the more pressing issue. And he left us without so much of a goodbye. I can hardly blame him.

In the wake of Hurricane Petal, I found myself staring at Stag a little disbelievingly.

"What?" He asked as he paid for our lunch.

I never realized it before but...

"That evil genius thing you do is surprisingly and creepily easy for you, isn't it?"

He opened the door for me and then draped a casual arm over my shoulders as we walked back to the Hokage's building.

"I wear many hats, T."

"It wasn't a compliment."

Stag removed his arm from my shoulders and gave me sideways glance as we walked. He was about to explain his ridiculous behaviour. But we were interrupted.

One of the dignitaries from the Rain country joined us as he was heading back to the Hokage's as well. Our little discussion had been placed on hold for the time being and to which Stag tried to hide his relief.

I can hear you loud and clear, DJ. I was well suited to blast him for this nonsense because (for some unknown reason) this situation has an strangely familiar ring it. Additionally, as a girl, I feel it's my obligation to blast him. But I think I'll just let it slide because I've come to a conclusion about it and I am not sure on how to proceed. And as I watch over my sleeping Genin as we make our way back home, I have to admit, it's something to think on.

What is a kunoichi to do?

...

Hey! What if I developed a sudden & intense preoccupation with Spoken Word and I start reading Matsuo Bashō & Yosa Buson?

I know DJ. It's a bit over the top. I know.

What if I starting wearing berets and sunglasses and start snapping my fingers anytime he says something deep?

He IS a genius after all. Subtlety is the best option here.

Again: something to think on.

Goodnite DJ,

T


	32. Ode to a Legend

DJ,

There are a handful of moments that hit me with such immense, overwhelming and immediate sadness that I rarely bother remembering them. But I can recall them in short order:

1. The time my best friend said that he couldn't look at me anymore because his father died on a frivolous, brutal mission my father had sent him on in an arrogant, maniacal and ultimately fruitless bid for more power.

2. The moment I realized my daddy wasn't the superhero I had inherently believed he was.

3. The first time Gigi explained to me why "I love only myself and fight only for myself"." He had just turned 7.

4. The night I had to sneak out of the palace to gather the remnant pieces of my mother's shattered necklace.

5. The warm firmness of the nursemaid's grasp as she held my hand. The agony of the wailers' cries as they mourned the loss of my mother's life juxtaposed against my family's stoic silence. Save one. I remember Gigi crying really loudly that day. Maybe it was because he was a baby and my brother but his cries seemed louder than the wailers. Maybe it was because he somehow knew what he had lost. What we all did. Maybe he was crying for all of us.

Do you see the invisible link that ties all these things together, DJ?

As the years passed, I loved listening to stories about my father's glory days far more than I'd ever care to admit.

Maybe it's because this was the proof that the compassionate, loving, intelligent and powerful man my father was actually existed. Maybe I need to cling to those memories more than I know. I remember snatches of that man from my earlier childhood memories. Those paternal memories between him & I really did exist. But they became farther apart the older Gigi became. The man in those stories was legendary. He was invincible and unstoppable and completely head over heels in love with my mom.

K & Gigi were too young to remember him like that. I remember just enough to make me wish...

I don't know which way is worse.

He was a man who loved his country, his people & his family. He would have walked to the ends of the earth if any of us needed him to. He was industrious and fearless and loved to laugh. But he loved making my mom laugh best. When he became Kazekage, he was humbled and honoured by it. I was too young to remember much. But I do remember my mom saying that he took the both of us to the top of the highest point in Suna. He proudly showed off "his city" and promised "his women" that he would work hard to make sure everyone would see Suna as he did. That they would come to love & respect it as much as he did.

Funny thing is, it's been 18 years and I still don't know who "they" are.

In his efforts to fulfill this promise to us, he lost sight of what he already had but made this ridiculous pledge to prove.

In the beginning, it was the little things like backhanded comments about Suna's "healthy" budget or that our nins were "_apparently_ worth their weight in gold" peppered into random conversations and meetings with the daimyo. My father never really thought very much of it. Quite frankly, he had an entire village to run and protect. But then things like delayed correspondence from high ranking officials that would bring city wide plans to a screeching halt even before they had a chance to even start, made him take notice. This is because his bosses' weren't. It was like the reply and Suna itself were afterthoughts. Something unworthy of notice or effort. It would irritate him. It got progressively worse as the months (that turned into years) wore on and my father saw little to no aid from the daimyo. My father was beyond livid when he found out there had been a meeting with the daimyo and other Hidden Village Nins. By then, the responses had gone from being afterthoughts to being nonexistent. My father had let it go because I think he believed that he was going to prove the daiymo wrong and didn't need the veiled suggestions. My father had been handed a dynasty and he was going to prove it was worth his title even if it was going to kill him. "They" were going to acknowledge him. He was more than the pampered prince his own father raised him to be. He thought he was making progress. He thought that he was earning their respect. But the final blow was news of the budget cuts. The daimyo didn't have the courtesy to tell my father to his face. He sent a messenger hawk.

After that, something changed in my father. He became obsessed with everything to do with our training procedures. That (somehow) if we were stronger, faster and crueler than before then people would take notice. That they would have to take notice. That the daiymo would realize his wrongdoing. My father became more distant with everyone and he was especially cold to those in the inner circle. Maybe it was because change starts in the home. And if the average Suna nin was supposed to be tough as nails, what more of those closest to the Kazekage? Or maybe it was just because he had already been betrayed by someone who was supposed to be on his side. His compassion and patience had been replaced by his fierce & undying desire to make our nins the best. Everything & everyone else became irrelevant...even...or maybe especially his family.

Now, being daddy's little girl meant he used to drop whatever he was doing and swept me up in his arms whenever I spotted him. But as the years passed and my "daddy" turned into "father", he could freeze me with a look that said both nothing and everything at once. I hated those looks. They left me upset and sad, although I didn't know why at the time. I would just walk away dejectedly. It eventually got to the point where he always wore that expression. Even though I wanted to run and jump into his arms like I used to, I was too afraid to do so. I walked on eggshells around him. Towards the end, I think the entire village felt the same way.

Things got really bad between him and my mom. One night I remember her coming into my room when I was asleep. I couldn't have been older than 2 or 3 years old. I remember her putting her hand on my head and kneeling down beside my bed. She had awoken me but she hadn't turned on the lights. The rest of the palace was deathly quiet. I felt her press a kiss into my hair.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." Her whisper sounded congested, like she had been crying. This alarmed me.

"Mama?" I asked groggily. "Wha's wrong?"

She apologized for waking me and told me to go back to sleep. But I could see her tear-stained face & dishelved appearance by the light from the hallway. I asked her if she had been fighting the monsters in her closet. She told me that the monster wasn't in her closet. Then she glanced towards my bedroom door as if the monster was going to be strolling by reading the latest scroll on the Sand Nin Training Results. So I told her that if she was scared, she should sleep with me and I'd guard her.

"Mari-Mari. Such a big girl. Protecting me already." She gave me that half smile of hers.

"Yuh-huh. You're my mommy." I beamed sleepily at her because she didn't seem as sad anymore.

She paused for a moment. Then she looked down as she put her hand over her stomach and said softly

"Yes. I am."

I'm not mad at my father. I used to be. I was angry at him for a long, long time. I could always feel the beginnings of disappointment, resentment and rage bubble up whenever I thought of him. And over the years, these feelings intensified and hardened exponentially at certain moments in my life... like when my mom died... or when I'd look into villagers' faces knowing my father had sent their loved ones to their graves... or whenever I'd look into Gigi's eyes and see the shadow of the Bijuu leering back at me. But I think I understand now. I think I know what drove my father there.

In his fervor to save his home, he abandoned what **made** his home. He couldn't deal with the fact that he sacrificed his baby boy, the love of his life and, in essence, decimated his family. I wonder if he died thinking it had been worth it. The consequences of his actions left him a broken man at the time of his death. He lost his wife, his mind, the love of his people and the relationship with his children (one perhaps beyond repair). What did he have left except the love of his country?

In the end, he helped the legend of the Sand Nin grow. We are feared and respected. And every time I lay my eyes on Suna's lights, I feel a serenity so complete it calms my sometimes erractic & broken heart. Even after the horrors I've seen on assignment...especially after an assignment. It hurt like hell but no matter the consequences, Suna still stands tall.

Even Gigi feels the same way. Even after all the trials & tribulations. After the accusations & non-believers screaming dissent. He still loves this place and everything contained therein.

If that's not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.

So I guess my father kept his promise to us after all. In a way, he got exactly what he wanted. Maybe that was enough for him. Maybe that's all he ever really wanted. Maybe now he can find peace.

I felt a light breeze passed over my face. It felt like a kiss on the forehead. The twin trails of perfumed smoke swayed apart as if an invisible hand pushed them aside like someone stepping through a curtained doorway. I blinked back the tears that were waiting to fall. The sun was bright and powerful yet it was still chilly. Cerulean skies stretched out for miles unblemished by clouds. It was refreshing and tranquil out here. But life...**my** life doesn't belong here. It was time to go.

I got up and left the incense burning for him. It was his favorite.

I really do hope you find peace.

Happy Birthday Dad.

T


	33. Lose My Breath

DJ

...

You give me everything just by breathing.

...

_You give me everything just by breathing._

_..._

You give me everything just by breathing.

...

...

**You give me everything just by breathing.**

...

...

...

**_YOU GIVE ME EVERYTHING JUST BY BREATHING._**


	34. Lose My Breath Extendamix

DJ,

Now before you lose your cookies, let me explain. That last entry isn't what you think it was. Well, at least I hope not.

Anyway, I had just finished the last of my _glowing_ reports from the Chuunin trial exams and was about to drop them Recruitment & Registrar's office. But I got distracted by a Jounin who approached me in regards to some home front business. We were able to discuss the issues in short order but instead of letting me go when we were done he just stood there looking a little awkward. It was like he was torn between caution and immense amusement.

It was really strange because he was acting very coy about the matter. The reason it was odd was because I don't normally associate coy and blabbermouth tendencies with a 6'4" lean muscle machine whose had more than his fair share of war stories.

I finally got him to reveal what he was alluding to. He pulled a heavy sheet of paper out of his pocket. It was the lightest shade of pastel pink. Its border design was nothing but flowers and heart shapes and it smelled faintly like the sweetest caramel ever imagined. I was could almost feel the sugar in my teeth.

Yeah. Exactly, DJ. It was vile.

But then I caught what was written on it. And in that instant I knew I was wrong because this lovely sheet of paper was the most beautiful thing I've seen since I've come home.

On closer examination, it looked like a colour photocopy. This is because along the left side of the paper, there was a very faint outline of a jagged edge like someone had ripped a page out of a binding. This made sense because the writing at the beginning of the page looked like it was carried over from the previous one. Big, curly, puce-coloured, romantic typeset was used to pose questions to the reader and asked them to answer them in space provided. The questions appeared as follows:

…love most about her/him:

Your favourite memory of him/her…

The sweetest compliment she/he's ever given you…

Only one question was filled in. It was the last one. And it said: **He said "You give me everything by just breathing."**

Lemme tell you DJ. My eyes were as round as saucers. I couldn't believe this!

I demanded to know where the Jounin found this. And he sheepishly admitted that he found it on the entrance way to the barracks. But, apparently, several more nins found copies of it in various parts of town: the communal entrance to the bath houses, on the underside of the monkey bars at the children's playground, on the inside of one of the bathroom stalls in ladies washroom at the community library. Someone even found one on a home delivery order of ramen!

Ren, the Jounin I was speaking with, said those nins brought it to his attention. I didn't hear what else he had to say because my attention was riveted to that sheet of paper. At that point, I couldn't take it anymore. I think my face was red from an inner debate between outright hilarity and perhaps a bit of second hand embarrassment. Hilarity won out (of course).

It took one guffaw masquerading as a snort for everyone in the vicinity to take that as permission to release the rib-splitting laughter they were holding back.

And just like that, K's infamy was that much closer to rivalling Gigi's… well at least in town anyway.

Now, I know what you're thinking and **NO, DJ**. It wasn't me. Give me whatever stack of holy scrolls you want to use. I will swear on all of them and on Gigi's life that I had absolutely nothing to do with this. But I think I know who did. And I must say that this is GENIUS. The only thing I don't understand is how that person got their hands on the Book of Us. And (of course) why didn't they include me in any of these shenanigans?

I need ways to unwind too, you know.

But I digress.

Ren asked if he should get someone to search/destroy the rest of the copies. I was about to tell him yes when K came barreling towards us with murder in his eyes.

**"DID. YOU. DO. THIS?"**

Oh.

So I guess we didn't need to find all the other copies then. What I don't understand is why he immediately blamed me for it. ….Actually, maybe I do.

So after I beat it into him that I (sadly) was totally in the dark about this brilliant, BRILLIANT publication, he had to stand there and endure almost the entire barracks descending upon him and adding their two cents. The commiserating pats on the back from the laughing older Jounin and the kissing noises & the over emotional pseudo-fainting from the Chuunins were bad enough. But one of the Genin telling everyone that the Councillors' main office was in complete hysterics was the straw that broke the camel's back.

K tried valiantly to defend himself (even if in vain):

"STOP LAUGHING! LOOK! I HAD JUST COME BACK FROM A 2 WEEK MISSION! I WAS BONE TIRED! I WASN'T THINKING STRAIGHT! AS SOON AS I GOT BACK SHE WAS YAMMERING IN MY EAR NON-STOP! I WAS WEAK! DAMMIT! YOU ALL SUCK! I HATE YOU ALL!"

And then he stomped off. But we didn't care. We were too busy wiping away the tears of laughter and organizing ourselves to find every last copy of what has now been dubbed as the "Proclamation".

I think I'm going to get mine framed.

This is too good!

K, of course, is not speaking to anyone and has been conspicuously absent around town. Maybe he's hiding at Yoko's place.

In retrospect, I handled it all wrong. I think we went about this the wrong way. And I told K that I will not stop until I find out who did this. I think it's my sisterly obligation to find the mastermind behind this.

And shake their hand but (of course) I left that part out.

Now that everyone's calmed down, they've decided that it's enough. And I think they've decided to cut K some slack.

I, on the other hand, will **NEVER** let him rest.

Good nite DJ,

T


End file.
